GO HERE BECAUSE I SAY SO

LAUNCH THE POLARIS, THE END DOESN'T SCARE US
[ClansRGay]
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- Saturday, October 20, 2001 1:12 AM

END OF SITE. Clanpages put a 10 meg cap on free sites, which means I'd have to get a paid account to be able to host any of the extra stuff. I can't write too much because I'll go back over the cap, here's what I had to delete: Project Megan, the gallery, the reviews section, a ton of pics and HTML pages linked from old news pages, the Creexul fanfic. Creexul fic, Project Megan, and the reviews have been moved to some shitty GeoCities CRG front, and I've changed the links so they should take you there. So now, we can't update further, because I'm 0.06 megs from hitting the cap. If I get news of that Keenspace webcomic going up, I'll try to update here about it. Until then, enjoy most of what I could keep, on the old news pages, and stuff now hosted off the site. Bye. ^_^!

- Tuesday, October 16, 2001 12:53 AM

From a mail I sent to my friend, about Ragnarok Online. Technically this is turning ClansRGay into Nepchewn the Mad. I joined up and started in the area I left off at, a small forest south of the first town in the game. A lot of other people were there at both exit points, sitting around, chatting, sexual harassment, girls getting hit on, backrubs, unwanted kissing. Pretty normal, really. We wanted to leave, actually, but the exit points had disappeared, so we couldn't leave the area. There were also no monsters spawning, so we couldn't even fight the lowest level monsters for tiny little fragments of experience. The server was/is apparently kind of screwed up, and they need to fix that. We just had to sit around and talk and bitch, or leave. So most of us sat around and bitched. Anyway, I left the sexual harassment side, which was at the south exit, and took a 30 second walk up to the north side. Some of us were bitching about the creeps at the south exit. One kooky guy "role played" (or just yelled) about rallying a force to SLAUGHTER the southerners. At first I didn't know if he was talking about the entire game world, or just the area we were stuck in. But he meant the area we were stuck in. I was all for that. The guy started giving out money to join his party (FREE MONEY). Then, he gave the order to march, and we all rushed down to the south exit area, and then role played a big slaughter. We had to SAY "*crunch kill stab*" stuff like that. Lots of chaos and battle screaming death hell. Eventually our commander, who had gathered the crowd in the first place, was MORTALLY WOUNDED! NO, FALL BACK! We ran about 15 feet to the north. We had won, BUT AT WHAT COST? We were all yelling stuff about NO, DON'T GO! YOU'VE NEVER GIVEN UP ON ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE! YOU MUST LIVE! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN OUR MEMORIES! DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT! STAY AWAY FROM THE TUNNEL, HEAD TO THE DARK! Then he gave us all some more money and left. We cried and cried, and then were pretty happy that we got a nice chunk of money. Some guy was mentioning that he was going to buy a more powerful weapon and avenge his slain commander. I put my hand on his shoulder, and said, "I know you've taken the commander's death pretty hard, but you must keep cool! We can not fight our enemy filled with rage! It will only defeat us in the end!" Just kidding. :( I know that if you're going to fight an enemy, and you're filled with rage, you'll probably win, AND THEN SOME. Anyway, I said that all the money he was giving out was probably duped, unless he was on a high level. He probably was on a high level. Some guy was like, DON'T DIRTY HIS NAME, HE WAS OUR LEADER! And then I was screaming HEY FUCK YOU PAL! If we could PK each other, that would be funny. Of course, if we could PK each other, we'd kill each other so we could respawn in a town and get some nice stuff. Anyway, we went back to a rock near the north exit and sat around and talked about how the character classes don't have any skills and can't gain job levels yet (job classes = just like in Final Fantasy Tactics, neat!). Then I left. Maybe I should register as a female. That would be funny. AND HOT!

- Monday, October 15, 2001 9:05 PM

You know, not only do these Clanpages pop ups suck horribly, but they're worse than normal pop ups. 1: They're multiple pictures instead of just ONE. I have no idea why. 2: They bring about some fucking retarded caching problem. Say I go to the site. Then in a few minutes or even an hour after seeing the site, I write up a new update, put it on the page, and upload the page. I go back to the page--SAME OLD FUCKING PAGE. I hit refresh about a hundred times, and still nothing. It's not clearing the old page cache for a fucking new one. I have this problem on NO OTHER WEB SITE. Every time the page loads, the stupid pop up opens, and my page appears to open about five times in a row (that fucking scroll bar gets big, then small and big and then gone and then big again and big and then it finally gets small as the entire page is loaded--JUST FUCKING LOAD IT, RETARDED WEB SITE HELLO?). And I don't want to host it anywhere else. It just doesn't strike as well without clanpages in the title. Because clans are fucking gay. Who the fuck needs a clan site that can't just be hosted on GeoCities or some crap? All of them are GeoCities quality, or below. And if they aren't, they're putting a ribbon on shit, because there's no redeeming content other than "workmanlike site design." FUCK THAT QUEERNESS. Sorry humanity, the first amendment is still active in this country! I have the right to say the site hosting me sucks. Like if I was playing Action Half-Life, I'd have the right to point out how badly coded and low-quality it is. And perhaps the fact that they stripped away the quaintness of its old versions, and replaced it with an imitation of slickness that falls flat, and looks like an attempt at style, without the whole part that involves "not failing." Anyway, I've played the alpha of Ragnarok Online, some massively multiplayer online role playing game that's huge in Korea. It is extremely CUTE!!!!!!!!!!^_^!!!!!!!!!!!! So, that's good. Oh yeah, I finished Homeworld and that's good too. anyway, Ragnarok is laggy as hell, but it's still pretty nice. If they could cut a ton of the lag in there, I'd be playing it right now, and then putting up cutey cute screenshots of my ultra cute character. Like so: Oh yeah, and I'm debating with myself if I should do another Project Megan type deal with the anime newsgroup (rec.arts.anime.misc or something, I think it is). I think they might be more seething for legal action than personally destroyed, so I'm not really for it. Even if I did do it, I probably wouldn't reveal it to them, because they'd throw every fucking attempt to netcop me that was possible.

- Monday, October 15, 2001 8:52 PM

They teach you that drugs are evil in school, but they don't tell you how awesome it is to get drunk. That is like so hypocritical. I sure am insightful.

- Monday, October 15, 2001 8:47 PM

We are watching Fatal Instinct, the comedy spoof movie. It is funny. How I do enjoy an outlandish spoof movie. I worship the Zuckers and Top Secret is propably the best movie ever. This one is directed by Carl Reiner. It's in the spirit of the movies that it's making fun of (Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, and a few others). And it is extremely outlandish and FUNNY. Now John will say something about this, or some shit. He's fucking a loser dumbass loserfuck. Neptune Salad (8:46:53 PM): "ABORT A FETUS HALF LIFE REVIEW" (?) Neptune Salad (8:47:28 PM): question mark inside parenthetical outside quote marks = clanpages is run by morons that was me on jh5hs name. me = jso9h

- Monday, October 15, 2001 8:45 PM

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/click/movie-1021340/reviews.php?critic=all&sortby=default&page=1&rid=181714 Thanks to Rotten Tomatoes for finding that link for me. I don't consider typing words into a box to be an actual search. I learned this from the school library. I hate to tell you this, but I think you're: Overkill - 06 - F.U.C.T..mp3 Bite down hard, you're about to be, that. By the way, my Mechwarrior4 review is now officially dated and incorrect. In the lastest patch version, you can now tell what weapon groups are selected. So I need to gather a bunch of weed and play that and a bunch of my Half Life map packs, and beat Homeworld. Also: Elite Force.

- Sunday, October 14, 2001 6:00 PM

Tell me a story about how you adore me Glimpse in the shadow, see through the shadow, Live through the shadow, tear at the shadow Hate in the shadow, and love in your shadowy life Megan. >:(

- Saturday, October 13, 2001 5:14 PM

Here's a post I wrote to the OMM boards about my fake experiences playing Arcanum (RPG made by the guy who created the Fallout games). The topic was: which makes more of a difference in game conversations, intelligence or charisma? I said I put 20 into my intelligence so I can play as myself. Someone asked me if I wanted to be beautiful though to attract all the hotties! Unfortunately I had to stay horribly ugly. Everyone I tried to talk to involuntarily leaped a step back in horror. And then I broke into a few houses and was put in jail and beaten in the face, and I kept screaming, NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE YOU PIECE OF BITCH TRASH! I got a break when one of the guards took a nap in my cell with the door unlocked. I stole his club and beat him to death with it, then wandered out, crushing everyone who got in my way. That's where my 20 intelligence paid off, because I became smart enough to kill people with one hit, even though I only weighed about 80 pounds, and could only carry 5 pounds in my inventory at all times. After everyone was dead, I torched the place. Then the 50 NPCs in the town came after me, but 5 of them wanted to join me instantly because I was evil and they liked that (they also liked that I had 20 intelligence, because I kept telling people I had 20 intelligence), so we all started slaughtering people, and throwing the bodies out the front door. Of the town. Metaphorically. I ordered my party members to build a new town out of all the charred wood and rocks laying around the ruins of whatever town I was in. It was about 300 feet high, and I climbed all the way to the top and lived there for a few days until I starved to death. I had my ghost follow people around, but no one noticed me. I eventually learned from a guy in a subway (a steampunk subway) who taught me to take my emotions into the pit of my stomach and start hitting things like steampunk shoes and steampunk sodapop cans. I only used this newfound skill to reach into people's internal organs and pull them out (it takes an intelligence of 20 to know where the intestines are, you know!). Then I followed around some rich people on the Zephyr 2. We were attacked on that one too, but it was by the Fortune Hunters from Crimson Skies. After we slammed into the ground and exploded, we were looted for all of our fancy gold pieces, and common plants that we always carry around. I was bored with crashing at that time so I kind of left before people came to look for survivors. So then I went into a cave and there was a ghost of some bandit there. We hung out for a while. We kept playing hide and seek, mostly hiding in the barrel by his old bed. We kept doing that, and then we'd pretend not to want to look in the barrel. Eventually one or the other gave ourselves away when we'd start laughing. I remember one time we laughed for two weeks straight just because of our hilarious barrel antics. Later I got bored and told the guy I was gonna get stuff to dress his cave/room up. I went into some town and used my magical ghost powers to make off with a steampunk toaster oven. I took it back, but the guy had become trapped in a bag of magic powder. I tried throwing it, but I couldn't even pick it up (a bug in the game, probably). I moved on. There was a 'ghost town' nearby, but there weren't any ghosts in it. I kept going north through some mountains. I flew through a giant rock wall and found a ghost prison inside the mountain. There were a lot of ghosts there, running the prison. They didn't have any ghosts IN prison, they just imprisoned empty space. Some guy told me that was supposed to be just a big ghost joke, but another guy told me that the jail's been shut down a while ago and they're keeping time there so someone can build a steampunk mountain energy plant there. I asked how they could do that if they're ghosts, but when the guy answered, the game crashed back to desktop. It doesn't matter to me because I want to finish Homeworld before I dedicate time to any other games.

- Saturday, October 13, 2001 5:07 PM

I wrote this earlier and sent it to the Prindle site, for their Styx page. The Styx review page is done by some reader, who has a little too much of an erection for Styx. I mean, the band's name is Styx, for Christ's sake, and they barely even rock. The page's subtitle, right at the top, makes fun of them. So naturally, it is a PRIME target for my brother and I. I know we have plenty of extremely seething, bitter replies to our comments there, and we even got some really stupid e-mails from a (very) few people who thought they should tell us a thing or two. Actually, just a couple people mailed us, and one of them was the guy who writes the reviews on that page. So I wrote in one giant mail while I was drunk today, and it's really self-righteous. But hey, it's probably all true, so there's no reason why I shouldn't say it. Especially to Styx fans. Like anime fans. In fact, I mention the relation between all of our trolling, Styx, anime, general trendiness, shitty music. There's a universal theme that ties all our motives together ("our" meaning the HOLY, Jsoh and Jhoh Cable). It's funny, because those little "lols" we do, making fun of the other net people who've bastardized language into a retarded version of conversation, can and do get taken seriously by people who just don't know that there's a joke there. People are too modest about the pure, dirt-brained idiocy that's running around here. My brother and I are the wall. NO RETARDED CRAP BEYOND THIS POINT. This means you, internet. So, that's the motivations of our lives. If you hear us saying something bad about something, there might be other reasons for it that aren't obvious. If we say something weird, it might be an obscure joke or reference. Just about everything we do here is intentional. This is the difference between us and e/n crap sites. There's an actual meaning and motive behind our actions. In other words, we actually think. Anyway, here's some Styx bashing. I actually got mail from angry Styx fans who were enraged that I had a negative opinion about the undisputed worst corporate rock band in the history of Earth. Well excuse me for speaking the truth, but if you look at the top of this Styx page, it says "there's a reason why the band isn't called rox." That reason: Styx is the wimpiest, most uncreative music, ever. It's a shadow of rock, coated in dollar bills. The guy who reviews Styx on this page actually mailed me, about a year too late too. Why, I don't know (my brother and I made fun of him in our replies to him--he probably didn't notice because any implications flew over his head, because he likes Styx). But if you find yourself with a struck nerve just because someone slams a band that isn't that good in the first place, maybe you should seriously reevaluate your life. I guess these people think that I should never get bored and write entertaining rants about one of the most infamously and embarrassingly horrible bands in "bad pop music" history. Well people, here's a personal message to you: GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT. Defending Styx makes you look like you have bad taste, and criticizing someone for writing makes you look like you can't write. It's like criticizing someone for making a building. Telling me what I can and can't write is the same as me telling you that Styx is good--it's bullshit. So some people apparently think I have something extremely personal, or some obsession with hating Styx. They must think that ten paragraphs would take me as long to type as it would them: months. Well people, I learned to type, so a half hour's thought can go onto a page in a half hour. If you do the math, and realize that's 30 minutes out of my entire life, you might realize that 30 minutes out of about a million DOES NOT MAKE AN OBSESSION. I know a lot of people on the internet think they're really clever when they can side step a simple fact just like that, but it doesn't work in the world of "thinking." I like pointing these things out as much as possible, because I personally believe there's nothing wrong with saying the truth, no matter how much people hate it (and boy do they ever these days). The battle of these mincing, hand-wringing pitch-pink carbon units isn't just Styx fans vs. truth. It's the entire history of denial and fear, and ignorance, vs. the down to earth, clear-cut bullshitless truth. You cut out a lot of the pretense, and there's nothing else to say. The reason why I'm saying this is because I know a lot of people who apparently stalk this page DON'T know this, and aren't even aware of such heady concepts. All they know is THAT IT'S YOOOO BABE. My brother, Josh, and I operate on a completely different, higher plane of thought, reasoning, logic, and reality than people like that (not just Styx fans, but many many net people who can't see past their own unevolved skulls). If you're counting (use your fingers, it's okay!) that's FOUR different concepts that we've already learned enough about to comprehend much more complicated paradigms of. If you compare this math to a Styx fan, it's not a good sign. Especially if you think you're a person who should be sharing your opinion or thoughts of music with another human being. I do this, obviously (to someone who can think), because the tormenting is fun. It's like doing the fake ball throw with a dog. You laugh because they don't know any better, and they never will. And if they did, they would have nothing left of their lives to do with the knowledge anyway. I also do it because I'm coming off a buzz, and I realized that the fact that someone would actually mail me about a negative Styx comment is so pathetic by itself that I should compile all my thoughts about it (and mail them for posterity of course) and give them to the world, even if they're not exactly bright enough to appreciate it. I know as long as this site is up, I'll have someone either wondering to themselves, or taking time out of their day to actually ask me, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST STYX?" Well what do you have against actually figuring out the extremely obvious reason for that answer? From now on, replies to me about Styx that aren't a straight, one sentence statement of Styx sucking will be proof that you can't read. The logic is on my side, and a million pages of double talking semantics won't be able to prove you right. So if you find yourself writing to me about blah blah blah Styx this and that, get out of the chair, take a deep breath, and remember that. I remember an old Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode, where Joel and the bots were talking about Hell itself working much better when it's subtle, such as self-service stations taking over the gas station industry. Joel asks Crow, "What do you think of Hitler?" Crow: "Well, I hate him naturally." Joel: "Okay, now what do you think of the band Styx?" Crow: "They had one or two... oh my God, you're right!" Styx, universally known for ruining pop music. It could've been all Zep, and all style, instead of shallow arena rock that sounds like an all ballad version of KISS. BUT KILROY, WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN OF AMERICA? If you think the above line makes for an interesting album, well, you can stay with your Styx. I have one Queen album, which blows away everything Styx has ever done. Oh yeah, and that Styx song, "Renegade," is okay. It's catchy, and it sounds a lot like Queen's stuff, but not as good. But still, if it's a Queen derivative (and it certainly is), then at least it has that going for it. Did I mention that Styx are sellouts, and perhaps they should be fucked? [One soberness later]: I kind of seem self-righteous in that update. I mean, I'm right, but still. :) Usually I'm supposed to save the self-righteousness for the people against me who have no argument. But I have one, so I guess self-righteousness doesn't matter. I knew this when I wrote the mail, so you know, nothing stopped me. Oh wait, I mentioned this already. Man, I'm SO sober right now. Oh yeah, and I'm satisfied with that rant. It's one of the rare things on the net that deserves the title of "rant." As opposed to all the other "rants" you can find on the net that aren't really rants at all.

- Wednesday, October 10, 2001 10:13 AM

Has anyone else been able to see their own pulse in their eyeballs? Oops, no one reads this site. AH HA HA HA I'M SO SELF-DEPRECIATING.

- Tuesday, October 9, 2001 6:41 AM

Well, for a few days I thought CRG here was gone forever. I got a mail from the founder of Clanpages saying that I had to remove the "ABORT A FETUS HALF LIFE REVIEW" (?) or else some action would be taken somehow somewhere. Like more crappy pop up ads that suck? I don't know. I didn't really care when I found out the site was down. I have backups. God forbid wonderful TMP would be gone forever just because my site disappears, you know. Jsoh and I haven't really focused any attention to this site in a long time. The usual reason of "increased school work" or whatever doesn't apply here, though. What's really happening is games, and going over a guy's house to drink and weed up the smokes. Oh yeah, and I've been thinking about making a webcomic, with a pal I know (see bottom of page for my favorite example of ART!). I jotted down the ideas for single panels, right here in my "update to site with" file. I registered at Keenspace, and they said I have to wait a few weeks for the account and crap to be set up. So in that meantime, I'll just post the ideas I've come up with. To me, this all sounds so great. Here's the first pic, which I guess will be the first comic, because it still looks good even with the pencil sketchingness. See also inked version for comparison, I am not sure which to go with. ^_^! Roger Waters in Concert Suggestions for the spit pic: more distance between the two guys, ALL HANDS MUST BE CUTE BALLS! [Update] I'll probably just go with that pic anyway. Oh and I took the rest of my comic ideas off this update, because I decided to keep them to myself, and make a DIFFERENT fucking file for it instead of my fucking site update file, FOR CRYING OUT SAKES.

The gallery to see pictures of ClansRGay losing or killing each other.

Creexul! A page for all the totally unrelated stuff I made, and posted here.

Counter-Strike tips for anyone who might need them. Such as, for example... PEOPLE IN CLANS. AHAHAHA OH MY GOD. Also, related to Counter-Strike is our little Counter-Strike weapons guide.

The files page which has files.

The old news page with all the old updates that used to be here on the index page.

AIM logs, which is just me and a friend or two using our secrety cliquey language at each other, and tackling the tough issues, such as anime sucking, or Limp Bizkit having no talent.

Reviews, in other words pages we make when we get so bored we suddenly feel like forcing our opinions onto you, RAPING YOU OVER THE INTERNET WITH OUR WORDS.

How to make color decals for Half-Life.

A Jsoh and Jhoh Cable production.