- 4/30/01 2:58:13 AM

Here's a little post taken from the AHL boards about other people, like us, having problems with the buggy AHL frontend. Naturally, people start twisting his post around into a total insult to the AHL mod and community, and no one bothers to even touch on his question or problem.

- 4/26/01 5:17:11 PM

Action Half-Life review is up. I think it's even longer than our Chemical Existence review. That's pretty long! Our reviews are OBVIOUSLY available through the review button at the top of the page. DUH.

- 4/25/01 3:42:34 PM

Jsoh and I are working on a massive new Action Half-Life review. ClansRGay fans (all one of them) should be enthused. But they won't be. FUCK YOU. By the way, 3DActionPlanet wins the award for "Most Terribly Misnamed Article." It should be called "You Know You're A Fucking Retard If..."

- 4/25/01 3:41:20 PM

We have the Wicked GL driver things in, and the game runs like it used to a million years ago before we had even heard of WickedGL. Yes, Half Life used to run better without WIKDGLDOOD. We shouldn't need it at all, but at least Half Life runs ultra-smooth now. So I guess it's not that big of a deal. BUT STILL. The game should be running at 120 fps now, but instead it's just 60. We played a lot of AHL, yes. I will just point out one thing and not mention that we actually did have a lot of fun playing: the fucking buggy ass front end is bullshit. I can't hit escape out of a game if I'm still in a server, or the computer locks up forever. What kind of bullshit is that? Are you telling me we waited a million years without a simple little patch for this shit? Ok then.

- 4/25/01 8:32:38 AM

Jsoh and I like AHL even more now. Brent said we were sellouts for liking AHL at all. That made me cry so much when he said that, that I wrote a poem. Here it is. j/k!!!!! lol omg And the words of the prophets were written on studio walls. CONCERT HALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111

- 4/22/01 7:19:52 PM

Jsoh and I played some Action Half-Life last night. We still hold the same feelings about the mod team's attitude, but the mod works really well now. We finally installed the WickedGL drivers for our Voodoo 3 and the framerates are up. The stunts in AHL work perfectly, which is about a billion times better than we expected they would work. We'll probably play some more today. Of course, we'll also take advantage of all the negative posts, screeds, and rants we've already written about AHL, and put them up here. How can they not be good reading?

- 4/22/01 7:52:00 AM

http://ericcollins.8m.com/uselesswords.html This looks like something from George Carlin. IRREGARDLESS OF THAT ISSUE, it's still very very good. "Laugh Out Loud" must unquestionably be original for the page. If only all the SomethingAwful, StileProject, Shugashack, and VoodooExtreme readers were to read that portion, their heads would probably explode, or they would be depressed for the rest of their lives and attempt suicide multiple times until they accidentally got it right. Laughing out loud is FUCKING GAY.

- 4/20/01 4:00:05 AM

I moved our copy of The Sims onto our second computer, so I won't have to hog the good computer if I want to play it, and I can actually try it out without loading up a family and hitting "ultra speed" until they all starve to death before quitting to play Half-Life. Instead, I promised myself to give it a real try. After a couple failures, due to the DUMBASS husband getting fired because he was too busy showering or eating to actually go to the car before it left, I began to catch on (make sure to cancel everything else when the carpool shows up, even if they're protecting the wife from being brutally assraped by 50 wild wolves). I was reading a review of Black and White--I mean Black and White by Wagner James Au, a reviewer famous for unbridled pretense and loving the Thief games (two concepts that go hand in hand). He made some crack about Black and White BEING A REFLECTION OF OUR SOULS. Reading between the pretentiousness, it's true that Black and White is one of those games that reflects your personality--if you're good, then everything becomes happy and joyful, and if you're cruel, then everything gets all dark and scary. The Sims is another one of those games: if you want to create a stable family, then you'll get that. If you want an evil family that traps their children in a picket fence inside the house, leaving them until they starve to death, then setting the rest of the house on fire, you can get that too. So here's the part that scared me. My family: wife and husband, both wage slaves. Every day, they go to work. Eventually they get promoted, since they only have to work out on an exercise machine a few times to start making more money. They go to bed WHENEVER, and sometimes they eat and sleep--just like my brother and I, fighting just to hold on to eating and sleeping, or so it seems to us. And that's it. No variety, just eat; sleep; home; TV; bed. I'd rather not sit down to play a horror-fun-house mirror image of my real life. Just the same thing every day for 50 years until the family dies. The wife is constantly having problems with not getting enough social life, but since they're both going to work at different times, it's hard to get them together for anything except being in the same room to eat. After I stopped playing The Sims and shut down the computer, I wanted to go to sleep, because my energy meter was getting low. I wondered how low my hunger, hygiene, and bladder meters would be when I woke up, and I'd have to literally waste 12 hours of the day charging those back up, and then read a book for another 16 hours. Then it's time for bed, but it's too late because the carpool is at the door AND I HAVE TO RECYCLE ALL THE NEWSPAPERS AND THE BILLS CAME IN AND THE HUSBAND IS IN THE SHOWER WHEN I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND THE HOUSE GETS ROBBED AND THE STOVE CATCHES FIRE AND I ANSWER THE PHONE IN TIME TO HEAR THAT I GOT FIRED FROM MY JOB FOR NOT SHOWING UP. I hate this game.

- 4/19/01 5:20:15 PM

Jsoh just let me know that Valve is releasing a new patch tomorrow, out of the blue, that will again change the physics code so it will be completely impossible to code dives or anything dive or stunt related into the mod. It turns out that Valve really is out to ruin AHL, and the AHL team and fanbase AREN'T a bunch of whining, pasty-faced, acne-ridden, intellectually and creatively sterile, paranoid, annoying, fanboyish, trendy fucking pussies.

- 4/19/01 4:16:28 PM

I own Quake 2, by a grand mistake of nature and terrible judgment. I figured that the hype was true and that it was actually not a shitty game. After I realized I was duped, Johoh and myself went out into the world of Quake 2 looking for great user made modifications. We did not find Team Fortress, the mod that began the entire idea of user made mods for the Quake universe. That was a pretty bad sign. One good mod later out of a whole shitload (Jailbreak, which there is a Half Life version of SO FUCK THE QUAKE @ VERSION) we DLed Action Quake 2, the AHL based mod for the Quake 2 engine. I read the message boards for AHL looking for some Beta 4 release date. It's tomorrow, which is why I am bringing it up. All I fucking find is how awesome AQ2 is over AHL, and how much better the shitty and old Q2 engine is better than the HL engine. Hey, if I wanted to read bullshit, I would check out The Onion. I haven't read Onion in a long time. I almost signed up for an account to their message boards for some massive trolling sprees, but I held back. I knew I would end up regretting it. But I didn't think that news like this should remain a secret. I believe the whole world should know, Action Quake 2 and the Quake 2 engines are failures to humankind. I know this because I played AQ2. It was so fucking dumb. Yea, maybe compared to the other Quake 2 mods it's the most amazing thing ever, or at least the most amazing thing ever that actually has an audience (Jailbreak for Q2 has long since been dead, and HL Jailbreak is now Open-source Jailbreak, because the mod was abandoned). That doesn't mean much seeing as how most Q2 mods are fucking laughably bad. Starting with the player models, perhaps the worst player models ever created by a major game company. To tell you the truth, I really do like Action Half Life. It's a decent mod with a lot of neat features and some pretty well designed maps. But if you hear it from the development team for AHL (they call themselves the A-Team, ugh), you would think that AHL actually had some kind of impact on the entire gaming world (it didn't). The land of Action Half Life is half game, half gigantic hype machine. The hype machine crushes everything good about the game, and makes everything associated with it embarrassing. So what does this all add up to, other than lot's of ()s? Action Half Life, after going unpatched for about 50 years, is finally getting a new release. Yes, it's still in the beta stages. And to tell you the truth, from looking at the AHL team's past dedication to coding and patching their mod, I'm not sure they even fixed that lump spawning problem (which wasn't even that cool of a feature to begin with going back to the AQ2 days, and now it doesn't even fucking work anymore making everyone stick together like a big shittily coded lump of shitFUCKFASDSFFS). One of the best suggestions I could give to the so called A-Team, other than to get rid of lump spawning all together, would be to emulate the real A-Team and not slack off on your mod and then blame Valve every time they release a patch that fixes or changes some game code. Hey, if you hate the people at Valve so much, go back to Quake 2. I'm sure all 10 of your fans will attempt to follow you back. Back down the road of fucking total and utter humiliating failure.

- 4/19/01 6:09:10 AM

I barely read Portal of Evil, but when I do, I try to go back to those message boards for the yaoi and cosplay sites. On the yaoi site, I found a post from an old FFAG reg I used to know, and actually talk to on a daily basis. She gets a follow up from one of the SexSexWorld guys, and also from me. While in the cosplay site's forum (which had a massive war, with cosplay anime loving losers on one side, and us cool HIP BREEDS OF CAT on the other), I decided to make a post about some fear I was having about getting in trouble for posting rape fantasies, and not remembering it after all this time. Then I go to the normal OMM forums, and make a post about making that post. And now here I am on the site, making an update about the whole fucking thing. Not only did I do all this in one night, but my brother and I spent all afternoon playing Wasteland Half-Life, Firearms, and Frontline Force. Finally, something we don't have to TAKE TURNS SHARING. Fuck that one-computer bullshit. It was a pretty busy day!

- 4/19/01 6:03:40 AM

I don't know if I posted this here yet, but I doubt it. Originally, I posted this to the CS Crossfire boards (i.e. PlanetCrap derivative), regarding people whining about the new patch or some shit. I bet that topic is still high on the boards on the Crossfire. It's two posts, seperated by that crazy row of equals signs. I figured that this site didn't have enough prime CS bashing, and all our mean thoughts shouldn't go undocumented here. The only thing I can say about this is this is why I stopped playing CS. So many CS players are morons. Of course, that's one of Murphy's laws. As the number of people who play CS gets higher, the number of morons who play CS get higher too. This kind of thing is what makes the Action Half-Life community so retarded: endless whining about Valve trying to ruin their lives because the coders can't release a one-line code fix to get rid of the team lump-spawning. Naturally, you'd have to be a trendy little fucking pussy in order to enjoy a "let's glorify Jhoh Woo endlessly" type of mod. Fuck that queerness. ====================== I realized I had one other thing to say, since I decided to read through this whole thread to check out the smart people bashing the whiners. There ARE flinch animations. It's part of the model blending. If someone gets shot in the arms, body, or head, the torso flinches backwards, instead of the entire model having to have an animation (so the legs can keep moving while the top of the body reacts). If you don't notice what the new models actually do, then you're probably some mongoloid 14 year old internet addict who has to restrain themselves from saying "LOL" out loud in school, as your grammar and spelling skills slowly drop to pre-fetus levels of intelligence. The two above bits should let everyone know what this ClansRGay site is really all about. Also: yes, the below post is stolen from one of Jsoh's AIM conversations.

- 4/17/01 1:38:07 PM

I remember when I was an FFAG... Seems a thousand centuries ago. We had done a fanfic where we were soldiers in a camp, we were there to innoculate the children. We left the camp after we had innoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying, he couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and hacked off every innoculated arm. There they were in a pile... A pile of little arms. And I remember...I cried, I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized, like I was shot... Like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God...the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure.

- 4/17/01 12:26:31 AM

Played some Mech Warrior 4 today and yesterday and two things happened. The second one was magical and proves that it wasn't too expensive to buy so quickly. The first one wasn't so magical. It was quite simple, I was blowing up the prisoner busses and laughing at all the sad and mournful teammates explain to me just how horrible it was that all those innocent prisoners are now dead. I just played it over and over while trying to have it happen right in the middle of the mid-mission objective review scene. What MW4 does for in-game radio transmissions is it plays them all in the order they are recieved, but only one at a time. So I would intentionally blow up the busses at that point to trigger the end of the mission. What happens then is it puts the screen in a letterbox view and plays sad music as the visual spirals around your mech's head. So now the mission is over, lettebox overhead view, I get something like "Ok, escort the prisoner busses (that you just destroyed) over to the landing zone and protect them while they load into the choppers." "Roger that, we'll continue on to the LZ and protect the prisoners." "Man, this desert is hot, I am glad I'm not in the infantry." "Target destroyed." "Target destroyed." "Target is dead." "OMEGA, CHECK YOUR FIRE! THAT WAS ONE OF THE PRISONER TRANSPORTS, REPEAT THAT WAS ONE OF THE PRISONER TRANSPORTS. CHECK YOUR FIRE." (sad sounding)"Command... they're all dead." "Oh no." "(more sad stuff)" And I laughed. Ok, the second thing was something that happened just now, while I was flying fucking high as a kite. I decided yesterday to scrap my 10th complete run through of all the missions on easy, opting to play on the next hardest difficulty. For a few missions it was about as easy as the previous difficulty, but then a mission came up that just kicked my ass for a long time. For a lot of that time, I was cursing my teammate's aim. He was barely hitting the enemy at all, I either had no weapons left functioning or no ammo left, and I was for some reason spared on the battlefield, a walking burnt hulk of armor plates. The mission was suddenly too hard. I tried it a few times and the same problems came up. Finally one solution worked. I was letting my teammates use the heaviest mechs so that I could do the most damage possible in the lighter selection. I went against that and used the heaviest, and loaded it down with the two weapon hardpoints that it allowed, lasers and missilery. I gave it the enhanced missle lock sensors and equipped the best long range clusters. Then I packed on a few decent beam things. Something that would sustain me outside of long range missiles. I almost didn't make it out after losing everything but a flame thrower and one medium pulse laser, but I got out anyway and learned a few things about making good mechs. Still, I was upset with my crew, their aims sucked terribly, and it was almost like they did nothing but distract the enemy from somone who could actually hit them (which I tried using as a tactic). However, I gave my crew another chance to redeem themselves. The mechs they had previously weren't that well configured for good weapon usage. I selected the weapon groups in a fashion of long range instant hit stuff aside from any of the mid range pulse stuff. In one of the desert missions, my weakest gunner (the girl, and I consider gunnery to be the best skill ever YOU DUMB BIM) did an awesome kill. I had tracked down some enemy medium class mech from around a mountain. His friend was able to rush to the other side, away from me. The girl was the only one near him, my other lancemates were behind me. She was the only one with a good chance of taking out the enemy soon. I hoped that she would get him before I had the chance to join the battle. I saw the enemy just in time for the very top of him to disappear over a ridge. One last chance for my lancemates to be redeemed. The very next shot was from Jen (that's the girl's name). I had selected her weapon groups so that she had all the weapons except the extended range particle projection cannon (ERPPC), and then that would be in it's own separate weapon group. Like an assassin, she blasted off that blue beam, and the next thing you know, "Target has been eliminated." I was so happy, I tried typing into the chat about how happy I was for her and to congratulate her on that shot. Alas, I could not. So I decided to celebrate by smoking a shitload of weedulars. Played a few missions, had almost no trouble. Jen did another sniper PPC shot, right by my head, into a guy tromping right for me. Blasted the guy in the chest. :)

- 4/15/01 5:54:00 PM

AHL has a new beta coming out soon. The message boards are filled with gibberish and hype. It's an impenitrable wall of badly spelled sentences about how AHL is the best mod ever and totally revolutionized the gaming industry (even tho it's dead now and hasn't been updated in years). When morons make mods, those mods end up being totally overhyped, and also get their ass kicked by even worse mods.

- 4/15/01 1:09:16 PM

Next time you get stoned, and get paranoid to the point of panic about the complexity of the human brain or the fear of undeterminable random chaos, or any other crazy stoned-paranoid shit, remember this one thing: there are many kinds of bacteria in your intestines, that help you digest and process food into nutrients that help you live. Then you should feel warm and fuzzy inside. ^_^

- 4/15/01 12:01:56 PM

I give "Pokemon 3" five stars! Out of a hundred. Here's a great bad review. "However, the rather unimaginative title for the movie also implies that there may be more of them to come unless we nip this burgeoning film franchise in the bud right here and now. Outside of canceling both the television series and the movies outright, the best thing the studio could do for parents and film critics is to release 'Pokemon: The Final Adventure.'" -- Jeff Vice, DESERET NEWS, SALT LAKE CITY You can find it on RT. It's not a bad idea, either, to kill the franchise, before this Pokemon shit ends up giving everyone nightmares forever. In the third Pokemon movie, some 5 year old girl's dad is transformed into some monster. I can't imagine what kid this WOULDN'T give nightmares, since American kids have enough home problems that are able to give them those "mom went out to get flowers, and I'm stuck in the car and it's going in reverse forever" screaming, crying, mind-crushing nightmares. Just which sweaty Japanese wage slave came up with all this pretentious crap? And why do American brats watch it? I guess none of the people involved have souls, the creators OR the fans. The real reason why 95% of anime sucks is because it's made by soulless sterile people. Hence that feeling (if you're a REAL grown up at least, and not some teen) that a lot of the overall feeling you get from each anime movie is familiar--because the writer is completely creatively barren, and they steal their material from famous stylish American movies, like 2001 and Blade Runner. teh edn [I wrote the above for a newsgroup, but decided to post it here instead.]

- 4/13/01 11:03:56 AM

Ya know, this was sorta fun. Only took a week and a half to write. Six days to record. Twelve hours to mix. Who knows? Make some money, pay the rent. Who cares? Maybe we'll even sell a couple of copies and I'll be able to buy a car or something, wouldn't that be great? You beat them at your own game, it's ridiculous isn't it? And the fact that guys think you're cool is just mind boggling. Well, anyway. We're gonna go do something serious now. At least in my eyes. RAAAAAAAAAOW

- 4/13/01 8:04:23 AM

The main target audience of this site = people who would understand the ClansRGay tag itself as a nice irony one-liner, which is flashed at the people who desperately need it--a million drooling 13 year old white kids with three clan tags in their name, better aim than intelligence, and NO FEAR. That means that I know 100% of the target audience is reading this site. Me, and my brother.

- 4/13/01 7:42:47 AM

Okay, now I can start over. I realized this morning that the site really isn't about ClansRGay at all anymore, or how I don't update anymore about CS or TFC or any other hip new GROOVY Half-Life mod. I haven't played TFC in a month, and I barely play CS, but CS is the main reason why this site was started in the first place. At least most of the updates I made here could sort of orbit around Counter-Strike, and gaming. It's pretty strange that, since I don't go to school or work, I have every single hour of the day to myself, and I don't play CS. I don't update with new reviews on a daily basis, or with new Creexul chapters, or any of the other weird side projects I've had on this site, or update the gallery with any of the 100 pictures still waiting in a temp folder. Just what do I do all day? NOT MUCH. Reading mail can take a half hour, since it can end up leading me to Misanthropic Bitch or FilmThreat, and that's a nice chunk of reading time. Then the one or two newsgroups, which can take another hour depending on how much there is to read. Other sites can take from one hour to five or more (such as the FuckedCompany Hall of Fame comment boards--THAT right there is a learning experience). And then my time on AIM can go from one hour to twelve. Most people on the internet can type "hi lol" for a half hour or more in between hating preps and whining, while listening to untalented sellouts ACCIDENTALLY play instruments. It's different here. That's really why I put up the AIM logs section, since our "chats" aren't just lame internet babble, peppered with lame, lazy acronyms, and cutsie word bastardizations, or clips of Japanese words. I've compared our AIM conversations to just about anyone else who has presented one on a site or otherwise. I KNOW that ours blow away everyone else's. I've noticed other ripoffs of the concept, but they're just a shadow in comparison. Retarded shadows. If a shadow could have a personality, it would be a real backbreaker for it to be retarded, but some of these sites really make it seem possible. However, I can't really claim property on posting conversations on the internet. All I can really do is claim that I'm the absolute never-ending best at it. But not Jsoh, he's a LOSER

- 4/13/01 7:35:58 AM

FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH! This is the day where I update with stoney ramblings, for a change. And Jsoh will be sober! That is how crazy Friday the 13 will get! Haha, but I am not actually being serious. Of course Jsoh will become in a state of "stoned" on this very MORN. Ah ha ha ha. LET'S HAVE A SPOT OF TEA MP3 of the here is a song I enjoy listening to at this very occasion: Fucking Pigs - Donkey Fucking Ass Loafer.mp3 Now I will tell you which Who song I am listening to also, even though The Who are an old band and they mean nothing anymore. I listened to The Who, and I thought "I don't know what this is, but it sucks." I AM A STUPID PERSON LIKE Jsoh AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got 17 page views yesterday. That's much less than our usual 20! I don't know what's going on. Maybe readership is just down during the second half of the five weekdays. We will have to run an official analysis on the problem, and maybe write another manifesto/mission statement about that. [At this point in my update today, I went into this big thing about how much time I have on my hands and how I waste it every day, and our AIM logs section, and how it completely blows away every single other "chat" anyone else has ever had on the internet in the history of "net chatting." And then this fucking piece of shit HTML editor froze up the entire computer, and I lost the whole thing. I'll try to recreate it here. At least it should be better in this second version, SINCE IT WILL HAVE AN ENDING.] I just switched to FrontPage Express here, instead of old HTMLtool. Now I don't feel like typing. I just had to change back, since FrontPage Express changed the entire site just because I hit save, and I'd have to redo every page on this site ever if I were to use FrontPage Express. Now I don't want to write what I was going to write, and I don't want to write anything about HTML editors. Friday the 13th is already scary enough so far.

- 4/11/01 6:55:40 PM

Dash Rip Rock - Let's Go Smoke Some Pot.mp3 This is Jsoh's theme song. By the way, whoever's reading our site from ibm.net: We sure do like free hard drives in the mail! GET BACK TO WORK. Here's a dialog that better be happening at IBM: IBM nerd 1: "Hmm, we haven't tested this new 200 gig hard drive yet." IBM nerd 2: "Better send it to those awesome ClansRGay people!" IBM president: "ClansRGay rules!" 3.9% of people reading our site (which probably equals to one person) are using Netscape 3.x. NETSCAPE 3? NETSCAPE? 51.0% of our readers have a screen resolution of 1024 x 768. I don't know who they're trying to kid, but they probably have 13 inch monitors. Like us. FUCK YOU. 7.8% have resolutions at 1280 x 1024 and up. Actually, I am proud that they feel our site is so good that they need to view as much of it as possible at once. Thanks, overpowered intra.web folks!

- 4/10/01 6:33:25 AM

We should perhaps add a search engine for this site so you can look for things we have put up here. Or you can look for things we didn't put on this site, and find NOTHING. Take this stiff, and pound it up your fucking ass.

- 4/9/01 10:16:29 PM

Okay, here's a chat log then. I had to upload it to GeoCities because it's more than 100 K. In this chat, JT gets drunk, Jsoh types "glflghflhghlf," and Brent and Megan laugh in disgust at a 1 and a half year old AIM log from my ex-stalking victim, m*rry widough. Much hilarity ensues when Brent and Megan observe the treasure trove of ;p and o_O and *sigh* within the old log. I become humiliated, but filled with hilarity, because I know it's funny. You can read the log for yourself, here. It's pretty embarrassing, but fortunately I kept it for the extreme comedy value it holds today. Oh yes, and I added a button that leads to the original Creexul fic, which is where the entire Creexul concept was born. It's up there somewhere, in the big row of link buttons. It is worth reading at least ten times.

- 4/9/01 3:37:04 AM

Those curves cut right through the water. FLIP OUT over that fuckin body man, dude. And Mama Cass is next to her, because they are in the same group-act band. Ok, no more Mamas and Papas. MmmmmmmANYWAY. Jhoh is wrong about firing "Thunderbird" missles at any ambulances, because there is no such thing as a Thunderbird missle. It's "Thunderbolt." We are working on a chat right now that will more than likelyyrt make it to the site sometime soon.

- 4/8/01 5:24:38 PM

It's so nice out today that it's not even funny. IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY >:(

- 4/8/01 6:04:36 AM

You know, 10,000 page hits a day doesn't really matter when your site still sucks. Our site routinely blows away every single e/n site, ever. That's just what we're here for. I really don't care how much porn they put up, or how many pagehits they get. Comparing our site to any or every e/n site is like comparing the sun to a speck of dust. There's a lot of dust out there, but there's only ONE sun.

- 4/7/01 12:06:26 AM

I was born in the wrong damn generation. Mmmmm. The one on the bottom is the one I mean. The one on the left. O yea, and one of the guys in that band died, so I am grieving in my own smokey fashion.

- 4/6/01 12:21:15 AM

Blastcorpse1 is finally up on the SpaceMonster server: 209.20.148.196:27015. Go ahead and play it (you can just type in admin_vote_map blastcorpse1 to start a vote on it). There's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be playing it RIGHT NOW.

- 4/5/01 9:17:37 PM

It's official. Secret FBI files report that "Yoko Ono had trouble singing in key." In other words, even the FBI themselves thinks that Yoko SUCKED. It was just on the History Channel, and they even said you can find some of these files on the FBI's site. http://foia.fbi.gov/lennon.htm If anyone can find any reference of the Yoko Ono sucking in those PDF files, let me know.

- 4/4/01 7:16:25 PM

Jsoh says he was flying in the fucking air when he made that last update. That's why his updates suck and he's a MORON. Someone from Canada read my site within the past two days. I just wonder who.

- 4/3/01 11:21:01 PM

Follow your dreams, you can do whatever you want as long as you put your mind to it and you really want it. Maybe. Joiho rented Boogie Nights, so we watched that again. It's like 3 hours of people's really dumb dreams and then their lives are ruined forever. That is cool, because that's what really happens, and it's funny to watch people try and be awesome super cool and then everything they thought was so magical and great and wonderful ends up turning into dust and everyone hates them because they suck. Like what Johji and myself did to FFAG, where everyone is a magical powered superhero or a 90 ton Gundam or some shit, and they write fanfics to confirm this in their own minds. And then after the evil supertroll group that is evil comes along and isn't defeated in the slightest bit, Jhoh "creexultoon" Salad introduces the Megan Project and evil lives on forever THE END OF THE STORY that is how the story ends and there is no magical fucking loser hero who is brooding and silent because he's so amazing HE DOESN'T EVER COME ALONG AND THAT ISFBFDOSFJSSSFDUSA38758. Evil Never Dies. A song by the heavy metal band Overkill, who are better than Metallica was during their best albums which were still really amazing (Master of Puppets). Mp3 of the Only Good Sammy Song ever other than Humans Being: Van Halen - Poundcake.mp3 The Who - Join Together - Roadrunner - My Generation BLOOOOOOOOOOOOZE.mp3

- 4/3/01 10:56:26 AM

Statistics from 3. April 2001, 10:39 Compiled on 3. April 2001, 10:54 Total number of pageviews: 0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

- 4/3/01 10:19:28 AM

Romping through Mechwarrior 4 again this morning. Doing the usual mission sabotage, i.e. blowing up friendly dropships I'm supposed to be protecting, stepping on friendly convoys, shooting teammates. Hearing them scream out their last words before their radios are reduced to shrapnel tearing through their bodies. FOR FUN ^_^ The capper was one of the final missions, where you have to rescue your sister, and make sure to escort the ambulance carrying her to a certain nav point where she can be picked up and taken to safety. I started by setting my lancemates on the lowest skill setting, and giving them all Shadowcats, the weakest mechs in the game (or at least one of the weakest). Fortunately, they were also some of the fastest, so I could order them to fight all the enemies for me without having to follow them around all the time. By the time they finished off all five Novacats (middle class mechs), they were heavily damaged, and when they got to the Madcat MK2s, they dropped like flies. I finished the Madcat2s off myself (THANKS FOR HELPING LANCEMATES, BYE), and the entire level was clear for me to finish escorting the ambulance to nav point zeta. Good job, let's get out of here! Obviously, before I finished the escort, I turned around and fired a Thunderbird missile into the ambulance. "They fired on the medevac!" cried some other mechwarrior. Not that there was any "they" around. "Medevac, respond!" my character said to the BIG FUCKING PILE OF ASHES on the ground. After that, I quit. There was no way I was going to top that level of screaming assfuck Mechwarrior 4 evilness. As I walked away from the computer to get some nice warmed over Taco Bell leftovers to celebrate, I discovered that I was feeling a brand new emotion! I have dubbed it "Creexul Hilarious Guilt™." I made sure to put Creexul in there so everyone knows it couldn't have come from anyone else but me. You aren't allowed to have this emotion without written permission by me, and a grant to Creexul Co. Ltd. for about $10 or so (depending on the cost of the pizza I plan on getting by letting you use my new emotion). If you have the emotion without paying, then I will fire a triple salvo of ERPPCs at you. AND THEN I WILL TURN ON MY JETPACK AND FLY AT WARP 9.95!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- 4/2/01 10:00:20 AM

Here's my impression of my enemies in Mechwarrior 4: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! That's usually the sound they make when I send a gauss rifle bullet straight into the head of their mech, blasting through so hard that the air in the cockpit decompresses and fires them out of their own mech, screaming and flying through the air, glass and bits of shredded control panels flinging out. PS: http://www.filmthreat.com/Features.asp?File=FeaturesOne.inc&Id=261. Making fun of Harry Knowles is a surefire way to make any website great.

- 4/1/01 3:44:27 PM

That sure was one delicious pizza and cigarette!

- 4/1/01 3:01:26 AM

Apparently, daylight savings falls on April Fools Day. I wonder how many people are going to think that all the news shows reporting it are tryong to HILARIOUS APRIL FOOLS people, and not change their clocks. Not that they would anyway, because they're lazy fucks and never fix their clocks. FUCK THEM. Anyway, we sold our old copy of Chrono Trigger, one of our most favorite SNES RPGs, and agreed on by most as a classic. Some guy at a small video game store bought it from us for $20, which is a lot for that game. Apparently the demand for it is way up because Chrono Cross, the sequel, came out on the Playstation recently, so all these people want to also go back and play the original game and relive their memories of what life was like in 1993. My only regret on selling the game: maybe we could've gotten more money for it. Like $25! I just know that, even though we would've wanted to play it again, we wouldn't have anyway, because it means hooking up the SNES to play this one game, when we already have these incredible awesome PC games, and FF8, and I still have to finish Xenogears, and by the time we're through with that, we'd probably forget about Chrono Trigger. Except if we remembered to sell it. There's no other way we'd even have it in our minds, I'm betting. To me, this really means EXTRA PIZZA AND CIGS AND SNACKS.