-
Thursday, August 30, 2001 3:41 PM
|
-
Thursday, August 30, 2001 3:41 PM
|
|
-
Tuesday, August 28, 2001 6:16 AM
|
I have to say, although this battle system is better than, oh, every single fighter game, ever, about half way through the game just buckles and collapses. It turns into laser jumping puzzles, button pressing, "open that series of doors you recently passed by," and enemies that are too fucking hard. You know the game needs more work when you face a baddie that has some sort of cluster bomb launcher, and he fires it EVERYWHERE, at you, his friends, and the wall in front of him. All the while you're trying to get off the ground again after being knocked down, and the bombs just keep coming until you're dead. Meanwhile he fires one at his feet or at a door in front of him, and he kills himself. LAME. Good thing I found a cheats page so I could just run right through. Until I got to the end, of course, where the world explodes and just about everyone dies anyway, and MAYBE humanity has a chance for survival, but right when they're beginning to touch on that, the credits roll, and then the game resets. So what's the payoff? If there was some kind of tourney mode, or a cutesy-character SD mode, or some kind of player selection cheat invincibility option THINGY open, it would make the game worth playing. Not playing past the point of "oops, you're being hit with 20 rockets and you can't avoid them," but still worth playing many times for some great ass kicking scenes. Here's apparently what the programmers thought the object of the game was, by the time you get to the "run to some poison vat and jump in it" level ending. 1: Watch a long boring cut scene, watch your uncle guy get killed, autosave, kill a guy, then run through a bunch of others who all have guns (only after the fifth time playing this will you know how to do this without taking too much damage). 2: MAYBE get past a big jumping puzzle involving moving lasers. Don't save after doing this, even though you DESPERATELY NEED TO, because YOU CAN'T. 3: Get to a few enemies after that with overpowered guns that will smack you down before you can move. 4: Die. 5: Start over an average of 10 times, all the way back at the autosave. No more than 10 unless you're an IDIOT. Run through all the baddies, the laser puzzle, and the baddies after that. 6: Give up, and find something better to do with your time. Earlier in the game, before the fun stopped and the frustration started, I had a perfect game moment. Last night, after playing several levels non stop, I did a running lariat, i.e. I wrapped my arm around a guy's neck, swung around him through the air, and kicked some nearby baddie in the face. They both died. A second later, I declared that it was time for another break and another cigarette. By the way, bad news Megan: http://www.mechabiotix.com/articles/melatonin/ You may be a fucking out-of-your-mind maniac, IDIOT. That might explain why you're a fucking stupid ass cunt bim gash these days. Good job selling out to the baby boomer ideal of having complacency mind control drugs raising their kids for them. You stupid BITCH. |
|
-
Saturday, August 25, 2001 10:25 PM
|
Again, great wallpaper for MGS fans. I got the pic from CGOnline, or actually from their old site with old reviews. I took the picture and the comment they added to it, combined them, and it makes for a wonderful gaming-moment wallpaper. |
|
-
Saturday, August 25, 2001 10:22 PM
|
Here's an AIM log that is probably great in many ways. It's actually several put together, with Brent and his brother. It's fun. whenever we light up a cigarette, we are inhaling and tasting bitter lies. lies about death, a horrible painful wasting death at the hands of a big money hungry corporation. but somehow, I sleep more easily with this taste, because it's a cigarette, and it's soothing and relaxing. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT Jsoh YOU DON'T EVEN INHALE YOU FUCKING FAG Also, your analogy does not seem complete! Here, I will help you with this! Plus your spelling, and this and that! Sorry Jsoh, I know that if this were something of mine, I would've deleted it the day after. I guess you just forgot. Too bad! |
|
-
Thursday, August 23, 2001 1:26 PM
|
Gore wants feedback on if he should get rid of his goofy picture at the top of the Filmthreat site. Here would be my mail, if I had the BALLS to send it to him: Yes, get rid of that STUPID picture. Take you and your freakish kidney back to Michigan, you FREAK, with your urinating and your movies, and your Dune. Is that what you look like? WELL NOW I DON'T FEEL SO BAD. Get Wells to unpierce his head and have him move back to Dickslap, Virginia. To hammer in my lack of a point, here's a paraphrasing of my new favorite scene from Casino. Dogs, listen to me. I got your head in a fuckin' vice. I'll squash your fuckin' head like a grapefruit if you don't give me a name. Come on Dogs. Don't make me be a bad guy here. Dogs: FUCK... YOU Can you believe this guy, for two days and nights we pound on him. Fuck ME? FUCK ME YOU MUDDAFUCK, FUCK MY MUDDA!!!!!!!!!? Cue crunching. |
|
-
Thursday, August 23, 2001 1:23 PM
|
So here's a great thread about ballistics tests on calibers of bullets and shit. Those 5.56s do some nasty fucking damage. All of these saved threads are like 80K. Well at least it's not 100, then I'd have to host it on GeoSHITTIES. |
-
Thursday, August 23, 2001 11:46 AM
|
I've been reading the WW2OL boards and one thing that made me want to register (and troll) was the person claiming that Enemy at the Gates wasn't based on a true story, and they believed that if it was the ending didn't happen like that. I wanted to scream over the internet. People are dumb. Another highlight from the boards, a guy claiming that bad coders infected with bad grammar were terrible coders, which they are, and then proceeded to say that "your supposed to" something. What a fucking dumbass. He was still correct about the code, but why can't he get one fucking thing right that's not about code. I barely finished 6th grade and I know when to use your, or you're. GUH. Seriously, trying to read that bullshit is infuriating, because they're so secure in their ignorance, like an anime fan. People claiming something didn't happen but not bothering to check, then when some clueless retard repeats the same thing, they claim "you said it better than I did." No proof still. It's sickening. This is the tourist culture we live in. But what's perhaps worse and more frequent are the fanboys who want the dev team to "ignore those mean flames by obviously ignorant children!" For some reason, because someone is angry about wasting their money on a product that doesn't operate as advertized, they are not as eligible for help as the quiet and supportive (braindead and irritating) fanboys. But the SomethingAwful review of the equally buggy and dissapointing Anarchy Online says it all for me: "These are very futuristic and advanced concepts of the advanced conceptual future, and you should be thankful that FunCom spent so much time and brainpower developing these aforementioned conceptually futuristically advanced ideas. If you don't, then a pack of raving FunCom fanbois will race over to your place of residence and publicly crucify you while shouting "OKAY! FINE! QUIT THE GAME! LESS LAG FOR ME!" They don't seem to understand that the whole reason FunCom is patching the game is due to the overwhelming amounts of complaints against the game itself. If nobody was pointing out these terribly futuristic problem-solving skills that FunCom employs in Anarchy Online, then the game would be in the exact same state it was upon release (ie, "in beta 3 stage"). Perhaps if people keep voicing their opinion on AO, FunCom may patch the game so people can actually walk through large cities without worrying that their CPU and cable modem will spontaneously give up and detonate." Extra extra: DLed and played the Star Trek: Armada demo. It's an awesome experince to watch the ships get into a massive firefight in 3D with giant ship phasers blasting things and stuff exploding into bits. But the game really is boring and the AI sucks. When I get my job, I'll get the game and a bunch of weed and get into a battle and activate the directors cut view and totally flip out over the battles. The game should be real cheap at Best Buy now anyway. Also even more, I liked this comment from the IGN review (IGN which I barely trust at all but they're right most of the time): "Sounds like Star Trek, though you’ll have your phasers set to kill if you ever run into Picard. Every time you click on his ship he has to mouth off." Which made me sad, because it's true. Apparently Patrick Stewart hasn't had a lot of work after Masterminds. And I loved TNG, so this is extra sad. AN ULTRA SAD ENDING. |
|
-
Thursday, August 23, 2001 12:58 AM
|
I just saw Born on the 4th of July. If I make a new Kitty and Flower episode, then I want the flash movie to have a short clip of "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin as the =^_^= flies across the screen, towards at an angle. That sounds like such a funny idea to me all of a sudden. I won't do it just in case I later think that it's a stupid idea. |
|
-
Monday, August 20, 2001 3:24 AM
|
I tried registering and posting to this, but I couldn't. So I'll just leave you with this thread. I think it's sad people have to come out and try to flame him, I don't really know WHY, when there's entertainment abounds from his post. Still people complain TO HIM about reading his entire post. Does some big chunk of logic just not fit with that? Granted the guy is crazy but that doesn't mean the entire scene is funny or not. Next time Megan mouths off to me, she'll get a big face full of SILENCE!!!!! And then I will beat her up. |
|
-
Friday, August 17, 2001 7:41 AM
|
This is the original Unotaku site, I think it has a couple more articles that aren't on the new one. http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=639624&lastnode_id=663898 And this is some article about Super Mario Bros. The guy who sent me this probably got it from Portal of Evil. Anyway, Jsoh and I decided to lightly scrape the Unotaku message boards, because angry anime fans are trying to take it over and turn it into just another watered-down, pro-anime playground of retarded emotes and people going "/me says lol, i agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" After our posts, though, the entire board just lit up in a firestorm of otakus with no lives shitting themselves with elitism. Sad to say this, but in the end we just outright trolled them--GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's really what it has to come down to. I didn't want to provoke them, but there's really no discussing anything with those people. The only thing you can really do with them is push them to the edge and watch them jump off the cliff of insanity. I got in some good jabs about how American movies are superior to anime, that really burned them because I knew they don't watch any American movies so they couldn't rebut that. And I posted about it to the Old Man Murray boards, just so they'd know how flaming these anime fans were getting. It's like they're running around on fire in circles over there. But the OMM people probably wouldn't care. You know those crazy people! I'd save some of the forum's pages, but it's such a mess now that it doesn't seem necessary. I'm considering it, but it's pretty disgusting just going back there. Alright, I already changed my mind. I saved four pages for posterity, and because Jsoh's few posts were pretty good. But I swear, this will be the LAST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I post an example of how anime fans are losers. From now on it's just going to be about how much we like anime. Oh yeah, I thought I should also mention that anime fans think these pages would prove the opposite, that we are evil anime hating racists. But, if you have a mind of your own, you should be able to come to your own conclusions most likely involving us being hilarious crazy wacky trolls with off-beat senses of hilarious humor. This whole episode of bringing out the worst in children reminds me of the time we trolled The-Space Counter-Strike server. They were seriously SHAKEN for a while, and probably still remember us with hatred. That is if they still exist. I like to think that maybe in ten years all of these elitist Counter-Strike players, and narcissistic anime lovers will perhaps grow up and realize the world that exists above their metal plated umbrella of being a fucking dunce. Then again, some of these people are already in their mid 20s, and in college. To tell you the very dark truth, these people will probably vote. Here's the pages. unotakuboard1.htm
|
|
-
Friday, August 17, 2001 7:15 AM
|
In the meantime, we played GT3: Scenery Flying By for the ps2. Isn't that great? We played it, and I think I might have beaten it. Also, Crimson Skies is still fucking awesome, and still fucking buggy. http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2001-05-28&res=l I figured this one would be captioned "Idiot Quake player plays Half Life and fucks up." But no, because FUNNY ARCADE it is not. From Jhoh: I know Jsoh wanted me to update with these. These are either two pages of a thread, or two threads from the Anarchy Online boards. Probably defunct or deleted by now. The pages are massive too, 50 to 80 K. Apparently they can't even have a forum that operates well. |
|
-
Saturday, August 11, 2001 8:08 PM
|
http://unotaku.tripod.com/index2.html But it's better if you just read it. A site that hates anime about as much as we do, and for good reason. Anime stories, animation, and fans and junk merchandise are usually all scraping the scum off the bottom of the entertainment barrel. The true meaning of "fan service" should be something like a more interesting story or characters or whatever. Like say perhaps Lawrence of Arabia. Instead, in the anime world, a fan service is a ton of pointless nudity. Anyway, Counter Strike. I spent the last 6 months avoiding it and the shitty moron players. I just made my return after a few short and embaressing CS skirmishes. But this time, I actually did not bad. Probably because I have been playing a lot of DOD. But still, CS isn't really that great of a mod. It's mostly fast dumb action and a little teamplay. Very little teamplay. It really boils down to covering teammates, unlike DOD where actual objectives can be captured or held without a high powered sniper rifle. So anyway, there's some site that Jhoh links to that has a bunch of great CS bashing comments that made me smile. "Um, we must be playing different games, because the last time I played on a public server (admittedly that was probably last Xmas, however), teamwork and objectives were notable by their absence. The newbie-bashing isn't along the lines of "You didn't complete the objective, hence securing a win for our team, moron!", but more like "You stole my kill j00 fagot!". The people who flame the newbies ingame (and this is an alarming amount of people - up to 20% of the server as a rough estimate) don't give a flying fuck about the team." "Do newbies get the short end of the magic cheat stick? Uh-huh. Newbies are generally treated very poorly in CS - more poorly, on average, than other Multiplayer games." "CS newbies don't mature, they just act like other CS players. Yeah, and CS players are assholes." "Very true, very true. Newbies, or 'n00b's' as some idiot trying to coin a phrase (he did) calls them, are beaten up on and assaulted time after time in servers, just because they weren't born divine. Sorry Counter-Strike community, wake up and realize where your at right now - the big fish in the big pond...just wait until your back at the beginning again with Condition Zero." For those of you not in the know, CZ is a singleplayer game made through the CS engine which will add a whole bunch more weapons and stuff, and will make CS fun again. Jhoh REMIND ME TO DIG UP A LOT OF MY OLD FFAG POSTS. More CS bashing: "Unfortunately, I'm forced to agree with Jeff -- I have seen some newbies that were belittled SO much that .. well, just say that it was bad. For some reason, some people think that, once they know how to play, then they simply don't have to be nice to anybody anymore." "If you're a horrible admin who bans newbies, allows obvious cheating, and generally pay little attention to your servers community and player quality, then you're going to attract the worlds worst players, and you'll get the gaming environment (hell) of which you all speak." "Experienced CS players are the ones causing problems not the new players. Ominous makes some good points in his post to, but even if a newbie comes in after having read up on the game play he/she is in for a hell of a wake up call on most servers. Team play and completion of the objectives are exceptions, not the norm of game play. Any wonder that a new player is going to fumble about on his first bomb defuse (or placement) when all the so-called "L337" players never bother with it." "Considering so many players have time to blather on about their skills, the size of their mother's breasts, or how bad each and every other player sucks, I would think a brief informative reply to a newbie's question wouldn't be that much trouble." "The true veterans are mostly gone. Many of the ones that have been playing the game since beta 1 have left. With them left a sense of friendly competition and honor among team-mates. All that is left is a burning wasteland of cheaters, whiners and llamas." |
|
-
Friday, August 10, 2001 6:08 PM
|
"Honestly, though Counter-Strike is a team-based game, I don't think I've ever seen less teamwork involved in any multiplayer game."
by the way Jhoh: Alien Project - If You Need Me, Call Me Trying to find that song, but not finding it. What? NO. >:( Anyway, I updated the reviews page with a new review of a Tom Lehrer album. It's really just an excuse to review reviews or whatever. |
|
-
Wednesday, August 8, 2001 2:15 AM
|
It obviously did better than Crimson Skies, thanks to the fact that one of those games was not hampered by giant bugs and compatability issues. I feel bad for the veterans assigned as consultants, so that the game would be filled with accurate portrials of real World War 2 Pacific combat. Men who risked their lives spent a great deal of their last years on Earth to talk to the developers, enriching the atmosphere provided by a piece of software. I am sad not because of what MCFS2 includes, but what it leaves out. Like ground targets that I could see. Or a terrain that wasn't one flat plane with dirt, jungle and water textures. I missed the constant explosions of aircraft being wounded or shot down, or a bomber taking a hit to it's ordinace (ordinence?) and filling the sky with fire. I missed strafing trains and buildings and pulling back on the stick into a massive fireball, emerging to carry on the battle in the air or something. However, I didn't play the whole game. I only played about 15 missions, so I guess I should just really mention the stuff that I know should have been in there. Like the time I sunk a ship, and the result was a circle of orange flame and a little blackened ozone representing what happens to every damn enemy target that could be destroyed in the game. No giant plume of destruction and severed crewmen, no frothing white shockwave in the surrounding water. No metal bits erupting into the air. And some old guys won the war for this? Even some old Japanese WW2 pilots were consulted for their ancient battle expertise. Dissapointing indeed. That's why I put up with extremely laggy menus, giant HD partition filling swap files (A FUCKING GIG!!!!!!!!!!), and the occasional crash/lockup. Because if the game is buggy but a targeted plane bursts some fire from a damaged wing while I attempt to shoot it down, it will make it all worthwhile. Also: shooting half of the engines off a blimp to slow it down enough so that I can allow a passenger to board, allowing us to raid the zep for $5000 in Russian crown jewels and a friendly scientist. It's a lot of fun. Then in the very next mission, I rescue the scientist's hottie daughter from the back of a train before security can capture her, then allowing her to pilot my plane back to our zep after I jump out inside an airplane hanger and steal a flying wing. |
|
-
Wednesday, August 8, 2001 2:09 AM
|
|
-
Wednesday, August 8, 2001 2:08 AM
|
The founder of Blake Aviation Security, Paladin Blake, went after me himself. After I personally hospitalized him, I took the opportunity to steal the Spruce Goose.
I just hope it doesn't break in half on me--or whoever my contact sold it to (supposedly the Nazis).
This game is CRAZY. [Apparently, Jsoh added this second part.] BOB SIMON: Tell me what Razorfish does. JEFF DACHIS: We reprocessize the e-business dynamics of the Global 1000 to deploy web-based e-commerce innovation and synergist processing flow-through. |
|
-
Tuesday, August 7, 2001 2:09 AM
|
We've also recently come to a better understanding of anime. It used to be that hating anime--the end, was all we needed. And we did. But now we've at least come to respect the details, and we keep in mind that there has always been some anime movies and things that we HAVE liked (Vampire Hunter D was good in many ways). The main root of the problem isn't even anime fans in general, but otakus, the obsessive shut-ins who have become mentally unstable. As some of the articles we've found prove, people have actually ended up insane and in sanitariums because of their grip on reality totally breaking from their obsession with fantasy, anime, and role-playing crap. Oh yeah, here's a snapshot I took from Deus Ex a while back and I forgot to put it here. If Gunther can get his request for a gun implanted in his head entertained by Manderley (whom I've personally put down with a stun gun), then I should be able to, too.
It's a good thing I made that note for myself, otherwise how would I remember when I got back to base? |
|
-
Monday, August 6, 2001 11:52 AM
|
|
-
Saturday, August 4, 2001 2:19 AM
|
