- 12/31/00 12:34:15 AM

Jsoh's new update is awesome. Go to our site and check it out. Oops, you're already at our site. And you've probably already seen IT BY NOW MOTHERFUCKS!!! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING FUCKS!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-WUH!!! Hello. ^_^

- 12/30/00 2:56:08 PM

Jhoh's news post about the CS map maker (his maps sucked, too) killed himself because he was a big pussy. And you know what, people who commit suicide usually don't take in two very powerful and simple facts. And the majority of those people are teenagers, so there's not really much of a loss. Fact #1: Every major religion tells you that killing yourself means hell. So if you believe in hell, be sure to expect that when you kill yourself. Fact #2: If there's actually no hell at all, that can only mean that perhaps maybe o I dunno THERE IS NO FUCKING AFTERLIFE. When you die, that's it. Poof, you're gone for good. Anything memorable about your personality is erased, and it's never coming back. Even hardcore Xtians have that little thought in the back of their head. There's a strong possibility that there's no God and that there never has been a God. Possibly! Who can really say? For you people that think you have to die to go to some magical heaven, I pity you. Even if there is a God, which there might indeed be, you still do not realize that Earth is the paradise. On Earth, you can experience whatever you desire, you can mold your own destiny. You are the Gods. You can do anything you want. But you won't realize this, and you will kill yourself. And then you're going to hell. HAHA. And in other news, http://www.ozcstrike.com/editorials/edit_tpvdm.shtml I dunno why that can't be made a link, but go there anyway. Here is a snippet, so you know what the hell is going on around you: "My argument to why CS is going the death-match route is in a simple statement 'look at the popularity of the maps to see where CS is headed!' De_Dust is by far the most popular of the CS maps - why? Simple - it's the most death matchy of all the CS maps and allows individual ability to shine. Maps like AS_Oilrig and the other AS maps that try to develop the teamwork approach are at the bottom of the popularity stakes - why? It's because it has the opposite effect to that raised above - they are maps that stifle the ability for individuals to dominate." You can fucking say that again.

- 12/30/00 7:57:12 AM

Jsoh and I are thinking of applying for food stamps, so we can use them to buy an endless supply of pop. Oh yeah, and our gallery has been down for a couple days. I didn't get any mail letting me know that anyone noticed, so that means I don't even have to bother pointing it out. But the thing is that I'm moving all the pages to a seperate directory, and there's an actual index page that has a link to every single individual page up right now. All the pages are uploaded, I just have to upload the pictures.

- 12/28/00 12:54:45 AM SUCK MY DICK MEGAN

It's funny that the usual conversations I have with Megan would just seem really degrading normally if you didn't know that almost nothing we say is serious. But really, I'd only have to point that out if you were too FUCKING!!!!!!! stupid not to notice how obvious it is. But anyway, regarding Megan's question if Jsoh babbles incoherently to the NPCs in Half-Life, I refer her and all of you out there to check out this picture.

- 12/28/00 12:15:59 AM

I went into the SvenCoop review on the reviews page, and I added two paragraphs. Merry Xmas, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

- 12/26/00 11:38:35 PM

By the way! I changed my mind. Alexander the Grape's name didn't strike candy into the hearts of men. It struck fear into hearts of food. STRIKEOUT

- 12/26/00 11:32:07 PM

Here's one from today, about some faceless guy that made maps for Counter-Strike who killed himself. So we make fun of him because he's a loser. We also talk about a bunch of other stuff. THIS IS A GREAT LOG

- 12/26/00 6:56:33 PM

Chatting. And more.

- 12/25/00 7:44:37 PM

London's calling. AND THEY'RE CALLING YOU GAY.

- 12/25/00 5:53:17 PM

Was it something today?

- This page was last updated on Saturday, December 23, 2000 17:58.

That guy who runs CGIWN. Some of you might notice how he seems to be trying to be black. But I saw a picture of him, he is black. Just so you know.

- Saturday, December 23, 2000 09:16

Jsoh Cable (3:01:49 AM): I am afriad that our site is gonna look like an EN site really ikazuchi (3:01:52 AM): that would be sweet ikazuchi (3:01:59 AM): no, that wouldnt be sweet Jsoh Cable (3:01:59 AM): Jhoh occasionally lectures me about that Jsoh Cable (3:02:03 AM): yup ikazuchi (3:02:04 AM): hehehe your site is awesome Jsoh Cable (3:02:11 AM): well posting mp3s is like an EN site ikazuchi (3:02:15 AM): it's just one massive attitude problem ikazuchi (3:02:19 AM): which is great Jsoh Cable (3:02:19 AM): whining about my life and so on It's not really the whining about life that's a problem, because our lives are definitely more interesting than everyone else's, and therefore we have every reason to make everyone read about it. But it's the mp3s that seem too much like some e/n site that wants you to listen to the shitty music they like because they're morons. Granted, the music we like is better than everyone else's too, but when you put Beach Boys up, IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH OR SOMETHING. DUDE WHERE IS MY MOTHERFUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!!!! Our love was flying, our love was soaring, our love was shining, LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING SUMMER MOOOOOOORNIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - the Slayer cover of The Who's shitty "Our Love Was, Is" song on their shitty album "Sell Out"

- Saturday, December 23, 2000 09:13

MP3 OF THE LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, Jsoh is right. When our entire family asked us what we wanted to do when we grew up, we answered "jack off to cartoon chicks for a living." Just kidding. Our answer is the same as it is today. "I don't know."

- Saturday, December 23, 2000 09:01

PUNCH. WOULD YOU LIKE A HAWAIIAN PUNCH? SHORE! Waboov. Speaking of punch, more progress on my map. I had my map all finished up. Granted, big lag problem in it. But it's my first map. Jsoh uploaded it to his site and I sent the link to the SvenCoop message boards. About a day later I get a message back from one of the team saying that while the map looks good, indeed there's a lag problem that can be fixed. So I take his tips and I do a little this and that, and start compiling, hoping that maybe the map will run so smooth it'll be amazing. And then the map doesn't compile at all. I can't even begin to explain the problem. It just won't work. It never will, either, unless I delete every single entity in the map, which means I might as well try to compile a big empty block and call it a map (which would surely be easier). I can either give up, or send it to the guy to see if he can make sense of it himself. For the fifth (motherfucking) time in a row, I give up. I think it's a sign from GAWD. A big red sign that says "DON'T WASTE TIME WITH THIS HOBBY." Sorry, too bad I have nothing else to do! ^_^

- This page was last updated on Saturday, December 23, 2000 02:51.

My last minutes awake tonight. If you saw that site that Jhoh linked to about the poetry, just keep in mind that THE SITE ISN'T EVEN CLOSE TO BEING DONE. I personally don't blame him. He had about 10 different sites, progrsssivly getting smaller and smaller. I remember the first time I caught his site. It was an A-to-Z metal listing. It got deleted at some point and the follow up site was pretty small. This one is smaller. But it has metal, so it's worth catching until the next time it gets shut down. One other thing, and I don't think we shared this yet. http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/1356/cartoon2.htm A guy who's site is about HOT CARTOON FEMALES. Which I have to admit, used to be a giant hobby of mine. Jacking off to the cartoon Batgirl from the Batman Animated Series, while lying on the floor. That was my main ambition. Mp3 of the Lol: The Who - Relax.mp3 One of the decent songs from an otherwise terrible album. E/N. :(

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 23:52.

A woman's place is not on the workforce. It's in the kitchen, making me food. Yea, that might have been a joke to me a few months ago, but not anymore. Now it's just the truth. And the truth isn't pretty. I like to punch women.

- Tuesday, December 19, 2000 04:33

Jsoh, next time at least link to one of the logs. This is the one we really wanted to put up. I really recommend to ourselves that we link to each log in the news updates, so people can read each log we put up by suggestion. But you know, who are we trying to kid? All of our conversations are interesting enough for anyone to just hit the AIM logs button thingy up there and then read each log. Speaking of links: This is the only GeoCities site with real poetry (which is great) instead of whiny 14 year old goth grrl rhyme ramblings that suck. In fact, the site has only two poems, one about trendy people, and one about hating people who hate smoking. And as for the links to those articles. Just a little article about how the already nightmarishly unlistenablely bad corporate radio stations are going to get worse, and why. And on the other hand, this one is just frightening. Both links are REQUIRED reading. If you don't read them, then you're not allowed to read our site until you've read through both articles. If those articles ever end up as a 404, don't worry, we've saved both pages.

- This page was last updated on Monday, December 18, 2000 19:33.

Jhohoh researched a bunch of really excellent articles about how CORPORATE ROCK IS BAD, DOOD. Actually, it's a lot more complex than just that. It's more about how most bands today become slaves for their record company when they are intentionally put into debt by the system that is supposed to be helping them sell albums. But the links are on the other computer. Until then, I made a post to the SA message boards (it won't let me register another name, so I made it under Nepchewn). And reading them, it's just sad that even they are not able to escape from overzealous admins and moronic posters that don't understand the site. But then, almost every big message board is like that. It's just a part of nature. Anything that is even remotely popular suddenly gains fans of the "not-smart" persuasion. Want proof? Check out detonate.net's message boards. Their stupidity is so famous, posts on the main site are made more than once. Then again, if there were no stupid people, then we'ed most likely all be stupid. WEED. I put up some new AIM logs. Go read them, because they are legendary.

- Sunday, December 17, 2000 21:44

Sent to the SA forum: Subject: Fragmaster was cooler than Lowtackts. Author: Nepchewn "Fragmaster has tiny Pokeballs"? Welcome to the world of homosexual assfaggotry! ^_^ That will definitely make some admin cry. I doubt it would be Lowtax, though. My guess is that he would laugh, the others will be thrown into a hissy fit of white-knuckle anger.

- Sunday, December 17, 2000 19:59

http://64.209.141.232/showthread.php?threadid=6064 Spuh-nack (admin editing your post = instant win).

- Sunday, December 17, 2000 19:24

SVEN COOP Polishing up my SvenCoop map last night, I suddenly came across an unknown map killing bug, for absolutely no reason. So I gave up. I had enough. And then a minute later, I found the problem and fixed it, even though several other problems popped up before that and doing what it took to fix this bug never worked. What is this, a fucking joke? Is existence nothing but a mathematical spiral of chance, endlessly looping? This is the pattern of life, by which we all must SUFFER. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -go right into a motherfucking screaming ass faster than fuck guitar solo (of screamingness)- -20 minute drum fill-

- This page was last updated on Saturday, December 16, 2000 20:21.

I remember when we first played the Serious Sam demo. I loved the technology, and the world was really beautiful. But I was not able to even finish it because the gigantic graphics engine beat my computer into dust. I remember being kinda dissapointed that I had a shitty celeron, instead of a real high end processor that could easily handle that great demo. And then I woke up today and saw a "Serious Sam 2" demo. No, it's not an early sequel, it's an enhanced compatability test thing. And MY GOD, they let you set down a few other things for the graphics that actually end up making Sam run as good as HL does. Yea, even with that fucking massive clip plane. So I finished it, and it was pretty damn cool. Certainly a good buy. I mean, I could buy the game NOW, and play it NOW. Jhoh also DLed the Diakatana demo, which I admit I wanted to play again, because I have to admit that the graphics were decent and the weather effects were really nice. Every now and again, I wish for the taste of a completely alien engine. Game demos easily satisfy. So I finally beat the shitty Diakatana demo, with cheats on. Cheats actually made the game KIND OF fun by setting all those stats up, but the gameplay really fucking dragged it down again. I gained one fucking gay level and no levels for the sword, and I played that fucking demo for every damn level. What a fucking terrible game of shittyness. And of course, no one at all was playing the demo multiplayered. Fuck. O yea, and I bought Teh Wlal on DVD.

- This page was last updated on Saturday, December 16, 2000 16:49.

We're playing Sven Coop on LAN. Leave us alone.

- This page was last updated on Friday, December 15, 2000 13:53.

I spent this morning looking up, reading, and laughing at the treasure trove of Diakatana reviews. And during one of them, my mind drifted towards my experience with that fucking shitty demo. And that simply lead me to the all too obvious memories of Quake and Doom, and how much I absolutely hate the both of them now. And then one thing from Quake 2 jumped out at me, something I just had to point out here. Quake 2's usage of non-player-characters (NPCs, and this simply means "characters you don't fight that are computer controlled," for you newb-persons out there) has got to be the absolute worst in any game, ever. The only NPCs in the whole fucking game are those "tortured soldiers" you find in the later levels, who do nothing but spout their repetitive wav files forever. They encourage no fucking action towards them at all, except for the wav file of a voice actor depressedly saying "Kill me." That's really what you're expected to do with them. Take out any one of your weapons and shoot them until they inexplicably explode into gib pieces. In Half Life, killing the scientists or Barnies (security guards, I am newbie friendly now because I am tired as hell and wired on candy) was neither damning nor helpful. It was sometimes fun to take the small group of NPCs at your command and fill them with buckshot, in the head or chest area. But at least they had a real fucking purpose. You would think that maybe some of those pussy Quake marines crawling on the floor would be sane enough to stand up, accept one of your guns, and help you fight off a few waves of moronic enemies. But no, Quake 2 sucks too much. I am whining so much now about Quake 2 that this site now looks like an E/N site. Minus the fact that everyone who has an E/N site either loved Q2 and other shitty games, or prefers console games (inferior). BLAH BLAH.

- Friday, December 15, 2000 04:23

This is me back when I was working on Lifehouse. Oops, it's a picture of Pete Townsend! I ALWYAS GET TOHE TOW O MOCNFURUSED!111 MP3 OF THE LOL: Iron Maiden - Alexander the Grape.mp3. In fact, while you're at it, just download every single Iron Maiden mp3. And then suddenly come to the realization that the average sound quality of mp3s just fucking blows, especially to the crisp (crunchy) sound quality you get on actual CDs. And then maybe you'll stop posting faggoty MP3S OF THE WHENEVER LOL I'M SO CLEVER BECAUSE MY NAME IS Jsoh CABLE AND I'M A TORTURED POT HEAD OF LOLRIFITY I'M REALLY JUST RIDING OFF OF MY BROTHER'S EXTREME FAME AND GENIUS GENIUSNESS AND O NO HOW WILL I MAKE THIS ON MY SHITTY NOT-EVEN-REMOTELY-GOOD HALF-LIFE MAP? I BETTER WHINE AND CRY ABOUT IT AND THEN FAIL JUST LIKE I DO AT EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because I'm just so much more successful, and therefore I can talk. Besides, Jsoh is just a sketchy stalker of Lewis Black. Oh yeah x2, I didn't want to mention this until it was actually ready, but I actually finished a Half-Life map. I know a long time ago on this site I mentioned how I was working on "a creexul map." Well instead I'm just making one for SvenCoop (it even has the new SvenCoop entities for the currently unreleased patch). In fact, it's pretty much finished right now, even though it's kind of short, and somewhat untested. Uh oh, now I'm following Jsoh into Markside-content territory. I DRANK SOME MILK TODAY AND THEN I MOVED INTO MY NEW HOUSE. IT SURE IS BIG AND SPOOKY! THEN Jsoh AND I GOT MAD AT MOM AGAIN! Comment on this update! IN THE MYST, DARK FIGYAZ MOOV AND TWIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- This page was last updated on Friday, December 15, 2000 01:26.

BWABWAW What? BWEAAAOWAAW Well let me roll up onto the sidewalk and take a look! Whooaa! BWOOOOW She's beautiful! BWAAAOW BWAAAAOOOOW Aaaah I'm talking about a Yankee Rose! BWABWABWAOWAOWOABWOAAA She looks wild! BWAAAOW Wild!! BWAAAOW WILD! BWAAAA WAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Mp3 of the whenever David Lee Roth - Yankee Rose.mp3 My ears are ringing.

- Thursday, December 14, 2000 22:44

HAVE A DRINK!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- This page was last updated on Thursday, December 14, 2000 08:34.

Mp3 of the whenever: Overkill - E.vil N.ever D.ies.mp3 Yes, again. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

- Wednesday, December 13, 2000 16:31

Okay, I FINALLY put up our review of Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force. Well, the demo. If we were a real site, we could rate the games themselves, but our reviews really ARE for the common person. Instead of telling you if a game is worth buying, we'll tell you if a demo is worth downloading.

- Wednesday, December 13, 2000 16:11

SVENCOOP

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, December 13, 2000 07:57.

I'm a prisoner in this fucking house. Ever since I started getting welfare, mom's been reigning us in. One of her new rules for us to continue living in our own fucking home is simply that we can never have friends, ever. Or in her words, "No [Friend's name]." And since he was our only friend, you get the idea, we are stuck here on a daily basis. She then put an alarm system in, but not to keep intruders out. Who the fuck would break in here? Especially the front door, instead of the back door. No, she put that shit in to keep us here all the time, because she's such a fucking money whore that she can't fathom the idea of me not being here with my money in her pocket. That's the reason why all my attempts to move out have failed miserably. She won't let me leave. That's why we have a fucking alarm system. If we try to leave for some reason (like perhaps feeding our fucking empty stomaches) when she's sleeping, she has a better chance of knowing and stopping us. And to think, the parental unit that is supposed to be assisting me in this life, the one that could have given me my own fucking welfare to spend as I wish, she's totally fucking sealed me into a trap. I could have used that money and upgraded my system a hundred times. I could have all the essentials for actually running my Lewis Black site. Instead, my website is fucking impotent, and is already just a fucking ghost site that I update a few times a month with some mundane news tidbit, or maybe another AIM log with the man whom the site is based on. No new pictures, no new sounds, no new ANYTHING. No one has it tougher than us. Don't even fucking pretend like you do. Even if your mom is dead, at least you're fucking free. I wish for her death on a daily basis. Or at least that I will suddenly be vindicated, like perhaps maybe I'll figure out her ATM password, and get ahold of her card. Or maybe she'll leave a fucking treasure trove of $20 bills in her car, and leave the keys out. Any fucking day. Any fucking day, and that plant will be done growing, and I will know the feeling of freedom through illegal drugs (WEED). Mp3 of the whenever: Cream - I Feel Free.mp3

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, December 13, 2000 04:15.

We had reinstalled HL twice during the past week. The first time didn't take, because we ended up getting a max of 10 fps, an average of 6 fps, and a heavy average of less than 1 fps. The second reinstall fixed it up, but we both agree that it seems to be only marginally better than it used to be. That sucks. A new version of Sven Coop will supposedly be out in 3 days. Go check their site, and get ready. And, that new review still isn't up.

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, December 12, 2000 08:13.

Played some Wasteland Half Life. With the new beta out, it looked fun. Bugs instantly destroyed the game, but they released a patch really quickly, and the game worked perfectly. Except... What is with this trend in games where the shotgun never hits what you aim it at. I am fairly close to all these people, and I'm blazing away. Shell after shell after shell goes right by them. The sawed off shotgun is the worst though, because it only carries two shells until it needs to be reloaded. I fired something like 20 shells each life, killing no one. The spread is clearly tight, but the fucking actual fire doesn't seem to do anything. Perhaps you could chalk it up to my fucking 15 GODDAMN FPS THE WHOLE GAME. What the fuck happened? We got 40 average, just a week ago. What the fuck is this bullshit? Goddammit. O yea, some guy recognized me from The-Space boards, and went nuts. Of course.

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, December 12, 2000 00:42.

Another excellent show on the History Channel. This one about the first ever iron clad warships, the Monitor and the Virginia. It juxtaposed information about their eventual battle (Virginia was a Confederate ship, Monitor was Union, this was of course the Civil War) with the archeologists and navy people who are trying to dig it up in present day. After about 7 hours of firing at each other (the ships, back during the war), the battle ended in a draw. You should just watch the show, because it was something like 2 hours long. Seriously, watch that fucking channel. Anyway, we are still here. We should be posting up our review of the Elite Force demo soon. Unless we already did that. Did we? If we did, go fucking read it again. Mp3 of the whenever: Overkill - E.vil N.ever D.ies.mp3 Get it before Napster becomes a service.

- Sunday, December 10, 2000 16:02

While mom was lecturing us about such and such bullshit today, I had the History Channel on, since they were repeating their habit of having excellent programming. Coincidentally, the episode of The Most they had on not only had a feature about the most feared war prison, but also the coldest forced labor camp (in Russia, slaves were only given some tea and ten grams of sugar, and expected to work on that alone--causing most of them to die of starvation). It was all subtly prophetic. Or at least extremely coincidental. Afterwards, we decided to have our main course meal of toast, to drive the point home to ourselves. And last time I checked, geek or nerd didn't mean someone who was emotionally underdeveloped. I figured it just meant someone who liked science fiction. Apparently it now means "pretentious fat American loser." I guess I'm neither nerd nor geek. Tee hee!!!!!!!!!!!3

- This page was last updated on Sunday, December 10, 2000 15:38.

I don't know whats going on, but I think we're getting kicked out of the house again, and our internet is gonna be shut down again. It's all bullshit and it's all a power play that I am just being caught in. I don't try to put myself in these stupid situations, they just come to me. Like a fairy godmother dealing out tainted apples or something. I never leave my fucking room except for food. I don't cook meals after 9 pm, a basic human right. What do I get in return? I get hysterical rhetoric, screamed into my ears. I'm just trying to get by here, I'm trying to stay out of everyone's way. And still, a battle rages every few months that almost gets everything we worked for these past 3 years just deleted. Like a fucking whim, I'm just expected to roll over and unplug the computer, and shut down my life. I admit it, I don't do much away from this computer. And I don't see why that should change for a long time. A computer isn't really a toy, not to me. I use it for almost every damn daily activity. I listen to music and play my games and work on both this site and my Lewis Black site, for free. I should be getting paid, but I don't really mind as long as no one attempts to disrupt me. Does my mom know what it's really like to have her feelings hurt? No. She's in a hysterical rage on a daily basis, and that hurts me. I am embarassed to live in this house with her, because she's nothing but a thief. She steals my money and then lies, and then makes excuses. Any other human being would have murdered her by now, but I'm not like anyone else, and I'm certainly not like her. Because unlike her, I am a decent human being. She doesn't know what it's like to be on the other end of a lunatic parental unit, shattering the hinges on our door if we don't let the dog in, screaming at us if we want our privacy. She treats us like tenants, when we are her children. And more than anything, we need her help and her support. We get neither, and I no longer care. Only stupid people are breeding. I'm lucky to at least know what it's like to not be an idiot. But with every failure, there is an act that brings about stabilization somewhere in the world. Like the person who orders a tuna fish bagel sandwich in NY, which inadvertantly causes California to sink into the ocean. http://www.aintitcool.com/tb_display.cgi?id=7198#216824 People who were devoted AICN fans (read: idiots) have "lost all respect" for the fat man. Whether it's a troll or a real fan, it makes for damn good reading.

- This page was last updated on Saturday, December 09, 2000 16:17.

More proof that humanity is fucking soft like liquid soap.

- This page was last updated on Friday, December 08, 2000 19:16.

On second thought, I might as well post the decal in WAD form now so that none of you attempt to make it yourself, fuck you I hate you. By the way, we're playing Action HL. I'll give them this, it runs not bad on a shitty assfucking crappy comp with no 3D card. It's too bad that the coders are all whiggers, ie they're fucking terrible coders who spend all their time whining about how everyone is out to ruin their mod.

- This page was last updated on Friday, December 08, 2000 19:04.

A rough draft of our latest logo. The real one is kinda hard to see on a page, and this one is hard to see in Half Life. So the real thing has a clearer picture for HL. We'll post up the actual file eventually. When we do, remember to rename it to pldecal and then perhaps backup your old pldecal. Because anime is just fucking queer. And yes, that's two male guys in a dicklock together, from a real anime show.

- Thursday, December 07, 2000 17:22

Tonight on the History Channel: History of Giant Fucking Explosions. Again. Followed by History's Greatest Blunders: The History of People Attempting to Fight the American Army.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, December 06, 2000 19:19.

The average age of the solider in Vietnam... Anyway, I finally re-DLed the Soldier of Fortune demo. I also DLed the multiplayer patch for the demo and such, which is awesome. I went ahead and played until I got to the frag limit of 100. That game is fucking fun. As a matter of fact, if any Quake mod of a game could be called "fucking awesomer than all hell," SOF would be it. Even the jello-models are more stable than normal. The jello effect still exists, but it's not nearly as noticable. There's no reason for SOF to actually be a good game. It's an ultra-violent Quake2 based game where you have to save the world from some super duper terrorist covered in tattoos. The fact that SOF is actually a great game is amazing. I'd write up a review, but I don't think I need to say much more than that. The game's about half a year old or something. In the works, I plan on reviewing all those singleplayered HL mods that are on my HD, but I think I'll hold off on that until I get some WEEDABLES. Pot smoking is, unfortunatly, officially trendy. Whiggers and Japanabes/morons are sticking their 420 gang signs in our collective faces. That just sucks, because it stigmatizes pot as a drug for trendy fucking pussies who are dumber than sand. I mean, I'm still gonna smoke it. I'll still smoke it more than these fucking trend-mongering assmanglers. It's just painful for me to see some moron anime fan with 420 gifs representing his "anime review meter." Goddamn.

- Tuesday, December 05, 2000 07:21

Hilarity: it will motherfucking ENSUE.

- Tuesday, December 05, 2000 00:30

http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-69.htm Uglycat is fucking GOD.

- This page was last updated on Monday, December 04, 2000 22:28.

Fuck you. In case you're wondering what I am actually doing, I'm trolling the fuck out of my old stomping ground, AMR. These people are like wet toilet paper.

- Saturday, December 02, 2000 23:28

It is true, Billy Milano punched Warrel Dane at some metallic metal show. That is too bad, because I like Nevermore. In fact, if I were to do one of those crazy wacky MP3S OF THE WHENEVER, it would be Neverfuckingmore - Poison Godmachine, and Narcosynthesis. And Meshuggah - Fyoocha Breed MACHIIIIIIINE for good measure. And still yet, Iron Maiden - Alexander the Grape. HIS NAME STRUCK CANDY :D INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- This page was last updated on Friday, December 01, 2000 23:54.

NeptuneandJsohBirthdaylog.htm On a boat in the middle of a raging sea She would make a scene for it all to be Ignored. And wouldn't you be bored? No, you woudln't be.

- Friday, December 01, 2000 07:11

- This page was last updated on Thursday, November 30, 2000 10:17.

I'm so fucking tired that I am halucinating. Ahweyrod. Apparenrtly, according to Jhoh, I can no longer even think about posting mp3s in any fashion on this site. Which isn't a bad idea, seeing as how it's totally pointless. I like the idea of suggesting music though, but o well. FUCKFDSHFHGSD HATRRED. I HATE YOU Jhoh. I could simply be telling him that I hate him. He's 2 feet away from me. But here I am, typing it out for the site. Why am I typing it? It's crazy. And the main reason I shouldn't be posting silly mp3s: in a few months, it'll look stupid, LIKE A FUCKING E/N SITE. Even though the simple fact that I am complaining about it here means that I am doing the complete opposite of what we both know I should be doing. I should obviously just use the mouse and wipe away all this text, then close the HTML proggie^_^ and go to fucking sleep. But I won't. Why are we injecting the Jack Daniels, we can just drink it!

- This page was last updated on Thursday, November 30, 2000 07:17.

F*ck. Sh*t. So*th P*rk.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, November 30, 2000 05:52.

I stopped downloading any singeplayered HL map packs I saw, because there's almost none at all. And the current crop of new ones look terrible. I also have to admit that Chemical Existence, being one of the worst SP mods ever, has shaken my faith in custom SP maps. We're toying with Worldcraft again, yes. And so far, there have been no strange computer-crashing, mind-blowing, hair-fraying bugs that have ruined our maps and our harddrive, yet. But if it does, I will personally load the Worldcrapft program into a floppy disk and THROW IT DOWN ON THE MOTHERFUCKING GROUND, and then shout FUCKING FUCK THIS GODDAMN ASSFUCKING ASSPOUNDARY BULLSHIT. Or something. Because I am still sick to death of fucking Worldcraft.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, November 29, 2000 04:29.

When you think about it, the idea behind the new HLMP mod, Front Line Force, is a really good idea. Most of the stuff in the mod right now isn't that great, but there was this one idea that I really liked and that certainly makes the mod stand out in it's own special way. Again, like CS and FA, FLF uses real world weapons and such. But the one thing that is actually original and cool is the "teamplay meter." Depending on how many teammates are nearby, your teammate meter (or whatever it's actually called, represented by red yellow and green helmets above your stamina) displays how much of a gameplay bonus you get. With each notch in the meter, you get an accuracy bonus and you actually recover health and armor permanently. That's pretty damn cool. Finally, a teamplay mod that truely encourages players to stick together as a team. I wish someone would release some kind of "teamwork training" mod of some kind, so we'd actually have people playing CS who knew what the fuck to do (as in, not running around by themselves like retards).

- Tuesday, November 28, 2000 21:05

Sudden unwarrented references to Midnight Express are what makes this site great. Speaking of great, or rather THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF THAT, a bunch of stuff happened that lead to the finding of an old picture from my shitty old "Neptune Salad" GeoCities site. So I put that back on there. It's the huge interviews page banner with the close up of the HAPPI KAWAII ^_^ CRAB. http://clansrgay.clanpages.com/LOL;_; I only give the link because it's sad and embarrassing enough to be amusing.

- Tuesday, November 28, 2000 02:29

Jesus Christ forgave the bastards but I CAN'T.

- This page was last updated on Monday, November 27, 2000 19:49.

The only movie you need to see this year: http://www.filmthreat.com/Reviews.asp?File=ReviewsOne.inc&Id=1388 I fuck your sons and daughters because they are pigs.

- Sunday, November 26, 2000 14:07

I haven't been updating due to subjects I can't talk about right now. That, and I've been spending most of my time on newsgroups. Look for my work by searcing for the word "creexul" on Deja.

- Oops, I forgot the timestamp and now it's too late

I had the brilliant idea of rounding up all the current AIM logs and putting back buttons at the end of some sort, when I realized it would be easier to simply delete the fucking portion of address after "clanpages.com/" So when you come up to the AIM logs and you perhaps recieved a link to them that wasn't from our site, then just do that. You know, whenever. I'm not uploading this now. I'm going to try and beat the NFLO demo, and then I'm going to go to sleepy dream place. And here's one last overlong sentence that no one will read anyway and shows that those missed years of school have taken their toll on my patheticness. I mean, my English writing skills.

- This page was last updated on Sunday, November 26, 2000 00:27.

I dunno if you caught any snippet where I talk about the Beach Boys, but I really do not enjoy their music. Weak surf shit that's so happy and friendly, it's sickening. For me at least. I just avoid their music really. So go ahead and color me hypocrite: Mp3 of the whenever, Beach Boys - Good Vibrations.mp3 Good, good, GOOD. Good vibrations, BOP BOP. She giving me. Excitations, BOP BOP. Good, good, GOOD. Good vibrations, BOP BOP. Exci- tatiiions... This mouse is fucked up. We're hoping to get a second computer soon, which means we can both play Sven Coop against each other or some shit. Rolling Stones "Heartbreaker" is ten seconds shorter than Good Vibrations. BUT HEARTBREAKER ISN'T QUEER. I hope Jhoh updates the site soon. All I have to report is that I reDLed the demo for No One Lives Forever and Elite Force. Thinking back, NOFL ran generally badly, but I don't remember it being this fucking bad. The game didn't crash yet but I was quickly reminded that THERES FUCKING WARBLY MUSIC PLAYING DURING THE GODDAMN LOAD TIMES, EXTENDING LOADING TO SEVERAL FUCKING MINUTES GODFDDMSADBHJFAAAAAA!!! Good AI and player animations, nice dialogue, and I love being a female, SO I CAN JACK OFF EASIER. Or somnetgfub. Uh, nice use of objectives, even if I got stuck on the second level. Bink says there's a part in the demo when you're on an airplane that cracks in half, and you play the part where it does. MAYBE HE'S LYING. I duno. STONED AGAIN.

- This page was last updated on Friday, November 24, 2000 19:42.

Our birthday is coming up. CELEBRATE THE BIRTHDAY OF YOUR GODS. RARSRDYDSAA!!!!!! Last night, I smoked a bit of my dwindling SMOKY WEEDULARS supply and put in the Quadrophenia diskettes. RAADSGHDJAFADAFSHGSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then we ate pizza and watched The Good The Bad and The Ugly today. WAAA WAAAAAAA. Anyway, for our birthday, we're gonna try and get a Gateway, and an ethernet thing to hook the new thing to the old thing and the cable line. So I asked mom a few minutes ago if we could go get our birthday present, WHICH A FEW DAYS AGO APPARENTLYTLTY WE WERE TOO OLD TO EVEN GET A BIRTHDAY PRESENT OR SOMETHING. Happy birthday Jhoh, guess what you got. That's right, you didn't get shit for your birthday. Isn't this the best day of your life? From now on, things will be different with this brand new NOTHING. Jhoh decided all of a sudden that we didn't give up on using Worldcrtfa, and is now in the process of making a joint Sven-Cewp map pack with me, by starting creexulbeta1.bsp yesterday. December 1st, that's OUR SPECIAL DAY. By the way, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED ON MY 16TH BIRTHDAY, A HUMAN BEING'S MOST CRUCIAL DAY. Guess. Paragraph. Paragraph! Paragraph? IAPFNC SBFKj A Paragraph. HIGH AS HELL RIGHT NOW. Sounds\mp3s\The Doors\The Doors - The Soft Parade.mp3 Mp3 of the whenever. :;scraed::

- This page was last updated on Friday, November 24, 2000 15:08.

I could easily type a few paragraphs explaining what we did over Thanksgiving, but I decided that a shitload of new, overlong AIM logs with be better.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, November 22, 2000 17:17.

My suggestion to the site tenfourmaps.com "My request is that the staff of this site uninstall Quake 2 and just walk away. Delete all the Quake 2 maps and stick to HL and OpFor. You guys are showing amazing tolerance, but you're are no doubt not being rewarded. I personally would have thrown my hands up and said "fuck Q2" when the game was originally released, but I guess that's just me." Possibly I've seen too much. Hanger 16, I know to much. Mp3 of the whenever: Megadeth - Hangar 18.mp3 Anyway, I'm kinda hoping that tenfour and other sites follow my suggestion, if they want to have a real site. But judging from their reviews of Chemical Existence, I'm betting they won't even pay attention. Their feeble minds will blank out everything I wrote, and they're just sit there drooling for a half hour until they accidentally close their browser thing or whatever. We took pictures of ourselves and scanned them, because we know how much you love us. Jhoh will be adding them eventuvbtakfhslgkhy.

- Monday, November 20, 2000 21:10

Last month or so, I got so fed up after reading a bunch of retarded reviews and posts on the IGN anime boards (guh), that I immediately registered and started trolling. After about ten posts, I stopped, and didn't go back until now, where I found this after hitting the link to the anime boards. Mission accomplished.

- Monday, November 20, 2000 21:04

We should just name songs that we'd want to put on the site, since Napster is still working, and if you wanted to get them, you could just pull them off Napster. However, Scour Exchange shut down early. We uninstalled it. And "Endless Waltz" is a fucking stupid name for anything. But it's even worse because it's the name of a queer anime offshoot that wasn't good in the first place.

- This page was last updated on Monday, November 20, 2000 09:05.

Gundumb Wing: Endless Waltz. More like Endless Fucking Waste of Time. IGN. Hate these people. 5 new anime reviews up at IGN, o boy! Where else could I find such a TREASURE TROVE OF ANIME REVIEWS? Mp3 of the whenever: Rolling Stones - Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby (Standing in the Shadows).mp3 I'm glad I opened your eyes. Next week, or whenever, it should be someone who isn't the Rolling Stones. Which could be good or bad, depending on.

- Sunday, November 19, 2000 04:24

My conspiracy theory yesterday, just before falling asleep, was that Old Man Murray might read our site. The "evidence theory" part of the conspiracy theory being: first, us mentioning Old Man Murray in an update some months ago. Second, Erik or Chet probably scan Google occasionally looking for mentions of them or OMM (which is perfectly understandable--and fun!). I came up with this theory so I could spend my final few moments awake giddily spazzing at the idea of some "big shot" web site reading our site--and then LOVING IT! The bad part being that if they read our site, we'd probably know FOR SURE. Anyway, I meant to make this update so I could post even more pictures of me and friends getting the word "pussi" through the Acrophobia clean room language filter. And other general LOLfullity. Great acro by "DieselMachin" (i.e. JT, our hilarious resident metal-loving metal friend). And just below it, my brilliant acro. Oops, that's right, it's not brilliant, it's fucking stupid! Two of my acros show up at the same time, and the acro from the LAST round I put in wins for some reason. Also, notice the quality of my acros. I used to actually care about the acros, and wonder why I kept losing all the time, and became frustrated at how I could barely even get a vote (because my acros were boring). Now, I don't care at all what goes into my acros. Usually it has that hilarious "clique" language that only my friends would get (all three of them, THAT'S HOW ELITIST WE ARE). And then if I put some swearing in mine, I'll get some more votes. My entire outlook on Acrophobia changed once I realized that everyone else playing was stupid, and that the game itself was stupid and only good for going to the clean rooms and trying to get swear words through (which gets even more fun if someone in the room gets pissed off at you for swearing). It's not like I give a fuck about getting kicked or my account being deleted, since my account is a year old and registered with an address I don't even HAVE anymore (I think my old Worldnet address, WHICH IS FUCKIN OLD AS A FUCKING OLD BAG OF OLD SHIT). I'm reenacting a scene from the edited-for-TV version of Pulp Fiction, which was what Megan was leaving the game to go watch. JT again with a great acro! And whenever I'm given an "R" in this game, I always try to make the word "retards" or some derivative of that word. My kleeky friends, the last people in the game, leave. So JT and I are alone in the game except one guy who's probably passed out, and some other guy who just joined. And we're ending our game with the Face Off round. These are the results. I really earned that 1 flip.

- Sunday, November 19, 2000 00:18

IT'S ZERODY ZERO O CLOCK Anyway, the entire concept of us putting mp3s on this site is no more, because Clanpages has a 500K limit on files. I wouldn't mind really, there's no reason to put mp3s on our site except for self-indulgence that we feel is justified by the fact that almost no one reads this (which also gets rid of the entire bandwidth problem that would be created). However, I know there's at least ONE picture in our gallery, an animated gif, that was about 800KB. So if you go around this site and find some files missing, well it means I didn't bother to fix it. Something might change later. I do not know.

- This page was last updated on Saturday, November 18, 2000 17:47.

The best show on the History Channel is easily Tales of the Gun. Easier than all eternal hell.

- This page was last updated on Saturday, November 18, 2000 12:47.

I tried playing some CS today, but man. All I remember was the rampant lag and plossy ploss. Entire clips of ammo were absorbed, and I died numerous times, too many times to count! And what was my score at the end of the game? 19/8 I guess I will be back to playing CS again. What that picture didn't show was the two HE kills I got just moments before riding into the phalanx, with my colt at my side.

- This page was last updated on Saturday, November 18, 2000 05:05.

No One Lives Forever rocks! 'NUFF SAID!!! Thanks, OMM. They're obviously reading the site and deriving from us. Obviously doubtlessly. They read it every day. Kind of like BTREN does. I remember playing the demo for NOFL. There was a lot of talking, and the game also ran generally unpleasently. Long load times for everything, and the game crashed after I died once. So I uninstalled it. But thinking back, it's not a bad game. It's not a bad game, because OMM loves it. And we're obviousuly derivatives of OMM. Which means that OMM is a derivative of itself now. Or sometughfigundg.

- Friday, November 17, 2000 22:00

http://www.superosity.com/d/19990814.html Expect see some changes around here!

- Friday, November 17, 2000 01:32

Girl, we couldn't get much better! ^_^

- Friday, November 17, 2000 01:20

Finally, I'm going to actually do a proper showcase of the color logos I made, for use with Half-Life and all its mods. Maybe I'll remember to put this stuff on the files page. MAYBE. And for this update, a brand new anime-bashing Half-Life color logo! And remember, if you're going to actually use these, rename them to "pldecal.WAD" (caps don't really matter as long as it says pldecal.wad). And click on the picture to download. First one I made, with just our URL. There's no reason for anyone to use this! I think this is the second. I made this for the AVL clan though, including a quote that one of the guys liked to use, until the Counter-Strike server we all played on disappeared one day. This is obviously the best logo. Three big circles. This picture is like a work of art. We destroy the art by defacing it with our tag. EVIL. Anime sucks. This is what we were using until today. I wanted an anime-bashing logo that we could call our own. Not only does it insult anime and its fans more harshly, but I also got our URL in there.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, November 16, 2000 07:38.

Just so it's clear: Quake 2 sucks. Sin sucks. Rune sucks. Time Splitters sucks. Duck it all you want, it's simple fact. Time Splitters is a bit more of a tender subject, because our friend dished out the cash for a PS2 and some games, and he's been focusing on Time Splitters for quite awhile now, which is too bad. Not like we could tell him to stop playing it because it sucks. I wouldn't even dream of it. And hey, it's made by the guys who worked at Rare. But is it really a surprise that it's not that great? The PS2, being hard to program for, doesn't leave much time to focus on great gameplay. Only really stunning graphics. Out of Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, and Time Splitters, the latterist of latters is also the worst seen from Rare, perhaps ever. It certains runs a very distant 3rd place in that lineup. If you haven't played TS, let me sketch the tapestry for you. In the game, you play NO ONE, and clear objectives that consist simply of "get the talisman and run back to the beginning of the level," for about 40 levels or something. And no, I am not joking. Worse is the fact that when you're on your way back, the enemies you killed start to warp in as invincible zombies or some shit, which you can only kill by manuvering the impossible controls correctly so that you can fire at their heads. While that doesn't occur in all the levels, it does occur in the majority. Last thing about TS, the level design is easily worse than Quake 2, and that's PRETTY FUCKING SHIITY ASSFUCK BAD. TS in general is not worth money. It's sad to see people blow games like TS and Rune. And when you look back, Sin wasn't exactly reguarded as just some shitty Quake 2 mod that barely made sense and was a bad game in general (which it was), but rather as "The Best Game Ever." Which goes to show how stupid humanity is. And no matter how dumb I might be now, I'm not even in the same motherfucking ballpark as that. Quake 2 fans choke on a big fucking nasty, smelly, sweat-stained fatcock of evil and insanity. And in other news, UGO is trendy as hell. They need to be executed perhaps.

- Wednesday, November 15, 2000 23:09

Playing Counter-Strike 1.0 some more recently, and I'm not NOT playing it fine. Which is good, because now I can not not play it again. Again, a good thing.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, November 15, 2000 07:34.

Pay It Forward! :) THE KID DIES AT THE END. That's what should be on the movie posters.

- Tuesday, November 14, 2000 20:37

Reading a bunch of reviews for Little Nicky at Rotten Tomatoes, and I realize that they're mainly giving reviews that belong to the South Park movie (judging by the quotes).

- This page was last updated on Monday, November 13, 2000 02:44

Here's a good idea: We should delete a bunch of the mp3s that are up on this site, and do some kind of mp3 of the week. And we'll post the link every week, which should simply lead to a zip file on our clanpages site known as the CRG site. Or something. STONED. Status: STONED Situation: Hungry and bored Solution: Ramble about stuff on this site. You know, I really regret selling out N64 for food money. Because now I want to actually own Perfect Dark, plus Majora's Mask looks neat. Also plus extra, Zelda 64 was a fucking awesome game, and Mario 64 wasn't too damn bad either. Uh, anyway. When the week was over for the certain mp3, we'd delete it. And this week's mp3 is Rolling Stones - Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker).mp3, which I guess I'll try to get Jhoh to upload if he accepts this plan. I am playing Sven Coop a lot, because it's the best mod to play right now. Me and 7 other doodz, running through dark hallways, blasting the shit out of a pack of marines. That's just cool. And yes, there are some shitty maps for Coop, but the good ones are so fucking good. By the way, I think I should point out that Action HL could be a really good mod, if they ever decided to work on it. So I guess what I'm saying is, Action HL is a terrible mod. And speaking of terrible mods, COLD FUCKING ICE.

- Sunday, November 12, 2000 08:17

By the way, "ploss" means "packet loss," packets being the information bundles being sent through the computers when you play some online shooter. So packet loss is what causes your bullets to not hit anything in Counter-Strike, or what causes you to not see the enemy until they've already shot you. Most of the new netcode changes that, but I'm getting heavy loss now with 1.0. Really. I'm actually complaining about a new version making netplay worse for me. That is what I'm doing. I am ashamed, especially ashamed at how I should be complaining, because this time it's true, as opposed to the fifty other times it's happened, where every other dumbfuck CS player has whined about anything. What's worse about CS players, the real nail in the coffin that is their skull, is that they complain about the new models, as if it was a problem. It obviously isn't, a problem is something that makes something go WRONG in the game, such as paying for a weapon in CS and not getting it. The new models being too different from the original (different in this case being "better") is not a real fucking problem. It's not even anything, except a difference. If there was a bug that crashed your computer in CS, they'd still whine about the player models looking "gay" instead. Whitesnake is what's gay.

- This page was last updated on Sunday, November 12, 2000 04:13.

I was gonna do a long rant about how frustrating playing FA is. FA is a really diverse play. With the new skills system, you can really do a lot the better you become. You can also select between a very wide range of items and weapons, which is nice. I was also gonna mention that the way they seemingly handled the netcode was by just ignoring it, which meant an extremely laggy play. But now with the new FA patch, things seem to be mended. Not completely, but decently, so FA will certainly be on our minds for the next few months straight. Although, they took out all the names for the fucking guns, which is really odd. All the guns have odd generic names, instead of their actual names. And what I said about CS below, I retract a certain line. I hope they release the new 1.1 tomorrow, because I am getting heavy assed ploss. I played some Sven Coop and got less ploss. O well. Also, we dug up Metal Gear Solid for the Playstation (I think I already mentioned this), which brings the PC version to mind. The MGS PC port is certainly one of the best ports and easily a better game than the original. Not only are the graphics much improved, but a real FPS type view mode has been inserted into the game engine. Hitting the First Person button twice in a row activated it in the demo version, and allowed me to run and backpedal, as well as strafe, while firing. Just awesome. Whitesnake - Still Of The Night.mp3 I am rocking out. But not to that, actually. To Rolling Stones more like.

- This page was last updated on Saturday, November 11, 2000 23:41.

Played some CS, but the only part that I took notice in was the wall to wall whining going on. Everyone had something to say about how the game or some map is now totally ruined, or how the models are ugly. Bad news for these people, CS is now a retail game. The CS team is going to continue to present CS in these new models and animation, because it reflects on them. The CS team are professionals and they have created a professional addon for the Half Life game engine which they are now selling. All these people whining about how they wish CS was the way they wanted. Some of these people end up making Counter Strike ripoff mods that suck. The CS team will stick with these latest game designs because that's what they were going to be several months ago. The CS team had this plan for quite awhile and they knew they would take flak for it from earlier players but they knew what the final version of their game was really going to be. If they actually change it, I would die of shock. Maybe. I really hope they just keep it the way it is, because that would show me that I have been playing a professional mod all this time.

- Saturday, November 11, 2000 12:43

I went out on a limb in a fit of boredom (and a fit of cough syrup), and read further down on the front page of the AHL site. Really I did! And I found out that it just gets worse. First, they have a Mission Impossible 2 themed Action Half-Life wallpaper. This is a feature? On a real web site, THIS WOULD BE CONSIDERED A JOKE. And further down, there's a tribute to someone apparently involved with Action Half-Life (it's not mentioned how--maybe there's no involvement other than someone who knew the mod makers). It has a couple blocky models saluting, and a feathery filtered text saying farewell to some guy they never mention by actual name, but instead by internet alias. That's the big crippling sign that you can't tell the difference between the internet and reality anymore: your tribute to a friend that died doesn't mention them, but instead the InsertCombinedNameHere name that they used on the internet. I admit I did the same thing for the guy I knew as "Qenny" a while ago. But I didn't have a TRIBUTE with some flowery picture stamped on there. To tell you the truth, I don't even remember his real name, because we didn't know each other that greatly. And he had a weird first name. Some weird jumble of letters. He probably didn't even die, he just went into lurking. That crazy Qenny!

- Saturday, November 11, 2000 12:24

Oh yeah, and NBC's official Conan O' Brian site has a fucking FUCKTON of movie clips and stuff. Almost every PSA, If They Mated, and just a bunch of other junk. It is awesome, go see everything there. Go, now. Right now, GO. This isn't a joke, GO NOW. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, GO NOW. You're pathetic. >:( -the more you know-

- Saturday, November 11, 2000 12:12

I should be getting paid for this. A lot of people making web sites get paid for doing a lot less. Proof that LOL ISN'T A FUCKING WORD. However, scut is. And so is jizzmopper. I have successfully defeated the Wordox language filter! That's really where the whole "SUCK MY DICK MEGAN" thing comes from, me trying to beat the Wordox filter. Of course, now, it'll be I'M SPRAYING A GIANT SWEATY HOT LOAD OF JIZZ ON YOUR TITS MEGAN. I am sexually harassing her--over the internet! New Firearms patch is out, which I think I'll play instead of Counter-Strike from now on, since--again I thought I'd never end up saying this--somehow the new version has brought about a crippling lag problem. It's a complicated way of saying that I suck now, but I have seriously seen some massive delayed packet problems (definitely not my fault--LOOK AT THAT FUCKING DOWNLOAD SPEED ABOVE, YANNO???), and bugs involving paying for weapons and not getting them. Imagine that--it takes your money, and doesn't give you your damn gun. It's sad that they have all these bugs on an official retail release version of Counter-Strike too. It means that the version they're selling in stores includes bugs that seriously fuck up the game play (just like Crimson Skies, except not as bad). You'll actually need a patch in order to play it. It's too bad, because it's a really great mod. You expect something like this from Sin or some shit. On a related note: Action Half-Life is still fucking stupid.

- Saturday, November 11, 2000 01:51

If you want (sarcastic) proof that just about everyone who writes game reviews for any gaming web site SIMPLY CAN NOT WRITE, read this now and cry. The good thing is that if you can't write, that means that you can at least still be hired by GameSpy.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, November 09, 2000 12:12.

The reason why you're seeing more posts than usual about Action HL (usual being no posts) is because I re-DLed and installed AHL, because I was getting a little tired of the same old CS and sparse Sven servers, and the netcode for fucking Firearms is just a laff. So I DLed it, and they obviously are extremely unprofessional. The netcode has been included, but only accomedates the client side fire control. The rest of the game is lagged out like fuck. If the AHL team would quit pretending to be a professional mod making team, I wouldn't have a probelm with their whining, but they all think they're the best mod ever, all the while wearing wallet chains and backwards hats. And there's no excuse for that. Besides, the model animations are terrible. Why does the hand cannon recoil in slow motion? So anyway, I thought I should tell you that we did indeed DL the new CS 1.0, which is out now. A summary of the new guns should be up whenever we properly evaluate them. I will tell you this, the new CT only pistol and the new SMG are cool as hell. Fear of a Backwards Hat.

- Wednesday, November 08, 2000 21:40

http://www.geocities.com/fighting31st/Law_31.html This has to be the only GeoCities site today that has an interesting personal bio page. God has a hard on for the marines.

- Wednesday, November 08, 2000 20:41

You know, if the people who make Action Half-Life could code, they wouldn't have anything to whine about. However, they act like Valve only makes patches to make AHL unplayable. Instead of, I dunno, to fix problems and improve code? From their own site: Oops, Valve did it again The latest HL patch (1104) made AHL unplayable due to introduction of the new 'lets all spawn at the same spot' feature. Please rest assured that we're working on finding a solution as soon as possible. We don't know yet if this bug is a feature and therefore was implemented on purpose (in which case we will release a bugfix) or if its broken multiple spawnpoint code or something to that effect, where we all would have to wait for Valve to release a bugfix. [in black text so it would show up as invisible against the black background] Valve just rules (vlav si suck or something) It should be noted that if you're using a Britney Spears reference in your WHINING, then that's not only bad writing, it's proof that you're 10, emotionally. And people play this fucking mod? Man, some people will just play anything.

- Tuesday, November 07, 2000 19:26

Hey everyone! When it comes to online deathmatching, does the idea of laggy games and high packetloss thrill you? Would you jump at the chance to play games where the shot detection simulates pings of about 1000? Are you looking for jumpy spazzy models with bad animation and no detail? Are you looking for the same old thing, nothing new or original? Well you are in luck! Action Half-Life is back... WITH A VENGANCE! The vengance apparently being the most self-righteous net-code-whiny movie file for any game or mod, ever. Yes, I'm linking directly to the file. They actually whine about the netcode, proving that there's nothing else on the site worth seeing.

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, November 07, 2000 13:45.

Hate. I figured I would add some stuff to the tips page about moving while firing and stuff.

- Monday, November 06, 2000 05:14

My brother is addicted to weed, and The History Channel. Not that I blame him. By the way, Jsoh, yes, it IS spelled "Bismarck," at least according to the History Channel's web site.

- Monday, November 06, 2000 05:10

http://www.amihotornot.com/r/?eid=G8SQK&key=SWWSE

- Monday, November 06, 2000 05:02

Just in case you actually needed proof that the internet is full of complete blithering idiots, a snapshot I took while in a game of Acrophobia: Pretending to drink over the internet. Can a human sink any lower? My friends and I later humiliated those losers out of "their own" room (even though it was a public game room, they claimed it was theirs, until we SPNAKed them out). scream508 = Megan, so that means this picture is proof that she's completely obsessed with sex. I think it's disgusting personally, the way she talks about sex all the time! I just don't understand why! She must be some kind of sex addict. OVER THE INTERNET Hopefully this will be the last time I ever play Acrophobia! I am the opposite of knowing why I play this game. I guess it's because Megan tells me to, and I'm too busy stalking her over the intra.web to not play. Really. Really.

- Sunday, November 05, 2000 16:06

Obviously you would not be aware that we're using a different logo, because I didn't mention it. Well here it is. This is what it looks like.

- This page was last updated on Sunday, November 05, 2000 13:49.

I dunno if you were aware of this, but we are using a new CS logo. And we're also using it for Firearms. It's that Anime Sucks gif. By the way, PPG isn't on anymore. Was it cancelled or something?

- This page was last updated on Sunday, November 05, 2000 09:36.

After Tales of the Gun, I thought I was going to sleep now. But then the History Channel showed "Sink The Bismark" and I was awake for another hour and a half. So I thought I was really going to sleep then, but not before another half hour of The Fighting I, Story of the USS Intrepid. The History Channel is the best channel on cable.

- This page was last updated on Saturday, November 04, 2000 11:31.

Did a little research on the origins on the anagram FFAG on our hard drive. It has a complex history that is covered in a series of longass AIM logs with a guy named tapehead. Hopefully, Jhoh will be bringing the FFAG anagram saga to a CRG site near you.

- Thursday, November 02, 2000 19:18

BinkyGENERALSDAUGTER.htm I just remembered that I should've put this on the site by now. This is the original log where I first caught on to screaming THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for absolutely no reason. Try it with your friends next time you see them! This is a pretty old log, back when my AIM name was "Neptune Sd." And I used a bunch of stupid smilies and shit, like the O_o and ;-) that make me want to PUKE!!! But then I redeem myself when I go on a no-smilie streak as Binky and I talk about The General's Daughter, La Blue Girl, and movies. Specifically, sex and rape scenes. That is what makes this log a classic! O_O ;-) *grins* Just ignore the smilies. And the other stupid SHIT. Oh yes. As you can see by the timestamps, the conversation lasted six hours. SIX FUCKING HOURS. So don't expect to even get to the General's Daughter stuff until ABOUT AN HOUR INTO READING THE FILE. A lot of it is stuff about some old web site that my brother and I used to have, which has completely disappeared.

- Thursday, November 02, 2000 13:20

A quote from somewhere on the Prindle site, from the "guidelines to submitting reader reviews" page. After over a year of associating with readers of the site, I've decided to take review page submissions on a "first come, first served" basis. Whenever I usually get requests by people who want to review a particular band, I say "Sure!" and never hear from them again. I think that I've gotten three requests to review Kiss (and one full page by Jsoh Cable, but funny as it was, had I put it up I would never have survived the hate mail) but no actual reviews. Yay for us. The link to that very Kiss page, on this very web site, is somewhere in the news from last month I think. And look below! Remember to check out that FUCKING Chemical Existence review, because it is awesome.

- Thursday, November 02, 2000 13:12

Okay, I have updated the reviews with our review of Chemical Existence. It's our longest review. Thrill as Jsoh and I take turns mercilessly beating on this Half-Life TC, because it's not that good.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, November 02, 2000 00:27.

A review of the HL mod Chemical Existints should be up soon. I mean, in about 24 hours.

- Wednesday, November 01, 2000 20:42

A perfect day for us: cold gray day outside--getting stoned, with a pizza, and watching the History Channel. We don't ask for much.

- Wednesday, November 01, 2000 19:59

IT'S ALMOST TWENTY O CLOCK. Anyway, I updated the gallery, FINALLY. Went from 91 to 100. A perfect 100, even with a perfect five pictures left. And I even threw in an old personal scanned picture on that last page. Go see why our gallery is better than any other gallery in the world, ever.

- Wednesday, November 01, 2000 17:51

I am obsessed and filled with scary hatred. I would smoke a joint with TMB.

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 23:39.

UGO = center for fanboys and losers the world over. Thanks, UGO. I *will* stay drug free, until I can get some more DRUGS OF THE HARD CORE NATURE. Boo.

- This page was last updated on Sunday, October 29, 2000 21:44.

Our friend came over last night, with weed and the PS2. And that's when I came to the realization: The PS2 is overrated. He brought Madden 2001, which was a great sports game, and I don't even like sports games. And then the two other games he had were just so mind-bendingly dull that I smoked way too much pot and ODed! Sometime during this despessing realization, I asked to see the demo disc that came with the PS2, and it included one of the dumbest games I have ever seen since the old NES days. Or something. The game was called Incredible Crisis, and broke the boundaries of a bad game. I can't even explain it to you. Just go look for some reviews of the game. You'll notice they're all good reviews, because people in general are soft and stupid. They think that if it's "weird" and "Japanese" then it must = genius! They don't realize that a bad game is a bad game. Just like Quake 2: The Worst Singleplayer Game Ever. Humanity eats a big fucking cock. We haven't been updating much because we're watching the History Channel a lot, which might just be the best channel ever. I dunno!

- Thursday, October 26, 2000 22:50

Okay, added your STUPID reviews. Also did a little moving around of stuff here on the index page. Remind me to write up that huge deconstruction of Dragon Ball Z.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, October 26, 2000 11:16.

It is possible that we're facing the end of music as we know it. MTV is taking one hit wonders and making them into rock stars with a career in terrible songs aimed for the neverending supply of teen morons. Or maybe not. Perhaps Limp Bizkit will die in a car accident/plane crash. Note to Jhoh, fuck you. I mean, update with my fucking reviews already.

- Wednesday, October 25, 2000 05:27

The planet Half-Life wav pool (as usual, not deserving of caps except for the name Half-Life) has updated, for some reason. You'd think they'd just quit, after realizing that they don't know how to put up interesting content, just like the rest of PHL (initials always get caps). Anyway, I expect Jsoh or I will write up a review of the new wavs, just so we can have an excuse to further prove that the wav pool just plain sucks.

- Monday, October 23, 2000 00:11

http://www.thegia.com/ Bad fucking news: any video game news site that has a weekly fanfiction feature ISN'T A REAL VIDEO GAME NEWS SITE. Fuck that queerness.

- Sunday, October 22, 2000 23:45

I actually added a log to the firstchats page on Project Megan. Just because it was especially good, and I realized that I did not have any Binky logs there! So if you've already read all of Project Megan, now you're going to have to go back and read THE ENTIRE THING OVER AGAIN.

- Sunday, October 22, 2000 19:06

Okay, I made a logo for the Project Megan site.

- This page was last updated on Sunday, October 22, 2000 12:37.

If someone asks you what the best song of all time is, just tell them it's The Real Me, by The Who. Seeing as how Quad was the best album ever made, ever. We're gonna try to work on a HL review, but instead of just gushing as we usually do every week or whatever, we'll be rounding up incorrect portions of Half Life reviews from game sites. Like when someone in a review says that HL "tripped up on multiplay," we will correct them about how HL is the most popular multiplay game on the planet now, and the improved netcode helps any other problems with multiplay. And such. But for the moment, we are on the verge of releasing my reviews for the Crimson Skies demo, and Starfleet Command. And I think there's something else. Note to jhno, make a logo for the megan project.

- Sunday, October 22, 2000 04:49

BITTEW (clique language)! The commercials for that Chicago Behind the Music episode were probably better than the episode itself. The episode just went on about how the band used to be just identified by its logo, but then the band started having troubles when they showed up in MTV videos in the early 80s, and one of the band members took all the spotlight and got a big head and left. That wasn't interesting compared to the famous gun story, the one our mom used to tell us about, when Jsoh and I were really young. She would tell us about this, apparently, really stupid guy who put a gun up to his head, and thinking that it was either empty or had blanks, pulled the trigger, blowing his head off. Jsoh and I just laughed at such an absurd and hilarious idea. Then, in the Chicago BTM commercials, every time, you'd see one of the band members start to get all choked up as he would recall their ex-band mate's last moments. In the commercial, you see the guy retelling the tale as taking the clip out (I always thought it was a revolver!), putting the gun against his head and pulling the trigger a couple times. And then the really weird part--he puts the clip back in, puts the gun to his head, AND PULLS THE TRIGGER A FEW MORE TIMES! So now, the story according to Jsoh and I is that one of the guys from Chicago actually emptied an ENTIRE CLIP into his skull! Burst fire blasting into his head with each of the several pulls on the trigger! After half of his brains blew out from the first couple of shots, HE KEPT PULLING THE TRIGGER! That is amazing. Too bad they couldn't show a slow motion pan/zoom of a picture of THAT on BTM. Oh yeah, and if the only way we can remember Chicago, other than that beautiful fake memory, is in some Adam Sandler movie about wacky demons with speech impediments ("IT'S THIS YEAR'S FULL MONTY!" - any retarded film critic), maybe we should just pretend that Chicago doesn't exist. At least South Park hasn't had any of their characters sing a cover of a Chicago tune yet. OR HAVE THEY?

- Sunday, October 22, 2000 04:48

"You can make a fortune in lies. You can keep a giant alive. You can ride the red until everybody smiles. Can you show me your gold and your silver? A hero in frozen water. Neptewn Sellud. COCOTOWN SALAD SMOOTH RIDICULOUS DISC OF SALAD AMAZINGLY SUCCINT EARTHQUAKE OF SALADIC PROPORTIONS EXPLOSION OF EPIC PROPORTIONS, EAT IT WITH THE FORK OF LIFE" - Zach "Perfect" Nucleonics

- This page was last updated on Saturday, October 21, 2000 04:45.

http://www.artistsagainstpiracy.com sucks.

- Friday, October 20, 2000 22:38

By the way, really funny thing in the below link. Might as well just paste it, so you don't have to bother looking for a paragraph that I give clues on how to find. Q. The other night I saw an advertisement for the Sally Field-directed beauty pageant movie "Beautiful." The ad said Rosie O'Donnell called it funny. Is this movie so bad it can't even find praise from obscure venues like "Wake Up Winnipeg!"--and has to take quotes from talk shows where the actors appear to plug the film and the host therefore gives clearly biased praise? Matt Rogina, Chicago A.Yes. My emphasis added, a day later.

- Friday, October 20, 2000 16:54

Why would only younger audiences laugh at The Exorcist? Answer: because DEY'R JUST 2 KEWL 4 DAT "Generation X ought to be killed to make place for people who care." - Devin Townsend

- Thursday, October 19, 2000 16:26

Someone just called us collect a couple seconds ago, but got hung up on by mom or mary. Sorry! Mom was questioning about them calling collect, and mary said that it wasn't collect, "it was Sprint." She likes Limp Bizkit. Anyway, I decided to post a couple AIM logs, both with me and B'tren, about STUFF. First one about how I think the government should rule over our hearth and home, and kill anyone, any time. And some stuff about how he doesn't like Misanthropic Bitch (he is a dumb WIGAA). And the other one is about how the newsgroup that Project Megan took place on has now been completely obliterated by my brother and I. Horay for us.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, October 19, 2000 07:42.

RATM is no more. News from alt.music.rush: I saw MTV sucking up to those idiots over the weekend. One of the fools was sitting there with a baseball cap that said "commie" on it. And the vocalist (yeller) takes himself so seriously it's laughable. Thankfully I have been fortunate enough to have been able to avoid this crappy band's music up 'til now, but I guess the pinkos in the media are going to latch onto them as the new saviors of rock. -- Geezer Smegma the Dumb Retard ejaculated: news:3826115B.78DDAD45@ix.netcom.com... > > > Mistake no. 1-Choosing to watch MTV, unless you posses the intellect of a > socially retarded 14 year old, which may or may not be the case. It's called channel-surfing. I know the only time you do it is when you have the shakes and can't actually control the remote. I was interested to see them actually perform. Then I immediately changed the channel and tried to think happy thoughts. > > Mistake no. 2-Judging someone simply on their attire. Or was it *more* than his > attire that bothered you? Someone wearing a cap that reads "commie" is designed > to raise the ire of the easily manipulated, and I see that it worked. Hey Dougetta! Did you read something I don't know about? Did someone tamper with my post? There was simply a statement of fact regarding an individual's cap. There was no judgment. I'll leave that up to your overactive imagination. Has your dealer cut you off or something? > > Mistake no. 3-A failure to recognize the focus behind RATM. They're main focus > is on serious subject matter, attempting to spotlight many injustices in the > world, which is a serious subject to those who cast more than a passing glance at the nation's troubles. The key word is "attempting". They're prime examples of an expensive education gone awry. I'll stick with "Hungry Freaks, Daddy" and"Trouble Every Day" and "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised", which I absorbed in my "passing glance" at everyone else's poor pitiful troubles. > > Mistake no. 4-Judging a band before actually listening to them. To me, this is > the ultimate in stupidity, even for Geezer. Actually, this was a Maherian mistake of sorts. I listened to their first album when it came out. One of my friends at work that hated the music I listen to (he was of Negroid descent and listened to the local Urban station) somehow came across the tape and gave it to me. I gave it back to him. Gack. > > Mistake no. 5-Labeling the media as all encompassing "pinkos". Again, shallow > minded but at least it's consistent with the poster's mind-set. You're on a roll, Suzy-Q. Read it again, this time with your eyes open. It doesn't say, "the pinko media", it says, "the pinkos IN the media". Seems to me that you are the one jumping to conclusions based on your prejudices. Again. Maybe your dealer's beeper battery is dead. > > Geezer is again fast at work proving he is a feeble minded child... ...who's diaper-sculptures are smarter than you. > > For those who dislike RATM for legititamite merits, that is understandable. Not > everyone can like every band. But for those who blindly dismiss anyone (or > anything) they consider "pinko", I'm laughing at you. Who might that be? I dismiss them because a) their music sucks; b) their vocalist is horrible and makes Metallica sound good; and c) anyone that would embrace communism is an idiot. > > Debora the Drum Rat (the prejudiced one who's world view is smaller than > it realizes) -- Geezer Dig me, but don't... bury me. Who takes the opportunity to laugh right back at her when he can stop his projectile vomiting long enough to do so.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, October 18, 2000 10:59.

Fucking a girl isn't as good as not playing Xenogears.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, October 18, 2000 01:01.

http://www.toastyfrog.com/ They've had a few near misses with being shut down, but this looks pretty final. I didn't get to see what the hell the "contest" even was. And this is really too bad, this was the only guy who even LIKED ANIME who openly bashed Xenogears. And now he's gone. It's sad. CRY, FUCKERS. http://www.kiss.uni-lj.si/~k4fe0104/ravehate/ This site is awesome, and it's still up.

- Tuesday, October 17, 2000 14:25

And Project Megan is still awesome.

- Monday, October 16, 2000 14:17

Project Megan, the reason why I haven't been updating recently. GO SEE BABY NOOOOOOOOOOW--AAAAAAA HAA HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! -solo so awesome that it makes Eric Clapton kill his kid- LIGHTS! CAMERA! AAAAAA!!!!CTION

- This page was last updated on Friday, October 13, 2000 14:36.

The CS review I added to wasn't uploaded, so I uploaded it now. A lot of things have happened lately. Not important things, but just stuff we haven't been able to add or mention. I talked to a guy in a CS game named ha1o. Yes, the number one instead of a L. He actually had played a test version of Halo somehwere and it apparently is gonna be like Tribes. Or something. It looks awesome. Sven Coop has been updated for the first time in forever. Looks like the new patch should be out eventually. And I'm still playing CS. What I should probably do is go delete some of the 20 person servers and try to find some 14-16 person servers for CS. Less is more. Also, I have weed. Our lives are a mess. I still live with my damn mom. But for right now, life isn't really terrible. ESPECIALLY WITH THIS FREE RIDE. My new AIM icon.

- Thursday, October 12, 2000 04:40

I went back and changed the link to what was supposed to be a 35 meg movie file of Harry Careyary on SNL's Weekend Update, after it dawned on me the entire concept of "bandwidth." I didn't even get the file uploaded yet, but now I just had the link changed.

- Wednesday, October 11, 2000 21:07

Jsoh: MAKE UP YOUR FU CKING MIND

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, October 10, 2000 13:34.

I decided a few days ago that I was gonna hold off CS for a month or two because I was sick of it. Well, I changed my mind. From now on, I'll still be playing less than I did before but I'll be joining smaller servers, because that's where the fun is. I totally changed my mind about the quality of the mod. It's one of the best out there. So, I'm gonna try to add a few things to the pros in the CS review.

- Friday, October 06, 2000 16:54

I want to write up a few reviews of some movies I've seen, and other assorted chooxicitry (LOL@!!!!!!11111ONEONEONE), but I'm hoping that if I hold off in sharing my opinions, other people might catch on and stop putting theirs up on the internet all the time, or stop having opinions all together hopefully. Especially since they are all wrong, and we aren't. One thing I did want to do, though. "Humans Being" vs. "Humans Being" Really, if you download any songs from our site (especially after skipping past Jsoh's stupid Who bullshit that no one likes--I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT SUCKS), it should be the above two files. And then dance in the raining Pepsi over your fucking beautiful pink soul. Why do humans always go to war? I do not wish to continue the war, I want to stop the hatred! And Jsoh was pretty much right about Princess Monokenekd, it was okay, compared to real movies at least, with less of the crap that makes anime so shitty. But it's so much better to say that it sucks so you can make the Japanabes so furious that they completely lose control of their mental and physical capabilities, and start having fevers and cold sweats and shakes and spasms. It always works, since they have no self-esteem, but easily damaged pride. Insult a Japanabe today! I'm afraid to post hilarious mundane details of my life now, because of e/n sites, and how they've ruined it for me. Just when I was getting good at it. But at least we can still laugh at A REALLY REALLY WORTHLESS SITE THAT ISN'T EVEN REMOTELY INTERESTING, AND THE COMPLETE POLAR OPPOSITE OF SOMETHING THAT IS GOOD, i.e. any typical e/n site. Speaking of e/n sites, anyone else seen about 50 of those artful grrl e/n sites, usually found by going through the "i love masturbation" or "big tittied nude sluts" web rings. But then you get to the sites, and all they have are a webcam where, if you are lucky, they might appear in a bra. And all these sites are completely written in lowercase, mostly have their own domain names or appear to (like this site), have tiny fonts which are usually in pink or purple, a gargantuan assload of Java that's enough to make you want to just walk away from your computer, and the normal pointer cursor always replaced with the crosshairs or the backwards cursor for no reason. And all that to cover up the content which is mainly poems, "rants," or "journal entries," (which are just alternate ways to say "completely worthless bullshit"). Man, girls sure don't know anything about what's interesting or cool! Good thing that this site is so great, so I can say all these things about other sites.

- Thursday, October 05, 2000 19:03

I feel vindicated now. We just saw Creed's "Higher" on Pop Up Video, my suspicions were confirmed that, indeed, in the scenes where the camera moves around the band while they appear frozen, instead of the actual "bullet time" effect, they JUST HAD EVERYONE STAND STILL. Creed fucking sucks. Fuck that queerness.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, October 05, 2000 08:32.

We rented Screwed and Princess Mononoke. I'll tell you this, Princess Mononoke was about 1,000 times better than Akira, but that's not saying much seeing as how Akira wasn't actually a movie. But at least I enjoyed this movie. I'd put this up on the reviews page instead, but I don't have much to say. The movie was ok. Still very typical anime/Final Fantasy type story about killing God or whatever. Screwed was better, but I like Dirty Work a lot more, which is too bad. Too bad for Screwed, I mean. You know, when I think about it... those first 20 hours of playing Counter Strike were just great. Even without the netcode and such, the realism of the weapons just blew me away. Plus, the thrill of the hunt was great, and I loved that Goldeneye ripoff map. It's too bad that any sembelance of joy I once got out of CS is gone now, replaced by servers full of idiots. Self rightious idiots, who believe that when all else fails, camp like pussies. Even on DE maps, where the whole team can simply rush to a single bomb point and win. Now that CS is the biggest multiplayer online game ever, it's actually not worth playing. But at least we still have Sven Coop and such other mods.

- Wednesday, October 04, 2000 17:15

My stomach hurts.

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, October 03, 2000 06:46.

We are now rediscovering the magic of Dr. Katz on tape. Just when I was kinda tired of the tapes of Rocko's Modern Life, Jhoh digs up this gem. I know you want to know. By the way, ON TOPIC, I am so totally sick of CS that I'm just gonna stick to Sven and TFC.

- Monday, October 02, 2000 22:12

Or something.

- Monday, October 02, 2000 07:36

I decided to reread our manifesto page, hoping it wouldn't be outdated enough that something needed to be changed. But it was. And now I wished that we had a better design for that page (hint: next time let's not include so much information that's likely to change, such as our "bad connection speed" which no longer exists, and other junk).

- Monday, October 02, 2000 06:57

I will back up Jsoh's statement of our lack of association with anything remotely "e/n," due to the extreme worthlessness of every single e/n site in existence, and the fact that the idea behind e/n sites are to be worthless, and usually just as boring. Not even Stile Project is interesting. When you can't make a porn site interesting, it's time to consider suicide. Unfortunately, Stile's probably not only done that, but made at least a minimum of 300 posts on his site about it.

- This page was last updated on Monday, October 02, 2000 06:55.

First off, anime sucks. People, you are halting human evolution by watching this shitty slant-y cartoon crap. Second, I wish to state that I wish to have nothing to do with E/N sites personally. I would have already mentioned this but I HAD A COLD/FLU THE PAST WEEK, AND NOW I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT EVERYDAY OF THE COLD. No, just kidding. LISTEN TO THIS MP3. Here.

- Monday, October 02, 2000 01:40

E/N sites suck.

- Monday, October 02, 2000 01:31

Well, I didn't want to say it, but that 1997 In Review movie/zip file wouldn't upload. I didn't mention it because I thought maybe I could get it to. BUT I COULD NOT.

- Sunday, October 01, 2000 22:33

I uploaded four new reviews. Also: Gallery pages 78 to 90.

- This page was last updated on Sunday, October 01, 2000 10:28.

Let's see action Let's see people Let's see freedom in the air LET'S SEE ACTION LET'S SEE PEOPLE LET'S BE FREE, AND SEE WHO CARES Or something. Anyway, I wrote up a Sven Coop review, in case we didn't already have one. God knows 2 reviews of Sven Coop is even better than one. DO YOU REALLY THINK I CARE WHAT YOU READ OR WHAT YOU WEAR Oops, I do care. Nevermind then.

- Saturday, September 30, 2000 02:59

Boovin.

- Friday, September 29, 2000 05:43

Some old text files we've had around on our hard drive: Random Love Calculator calculations involving us, and/or people we know and HATE. A song parody of some Anthrax song that's specific to only some newsgroup boovin, but it's so good (and applicable to so many people you might know) that I figure it works well here anyway. Oh yeah, and. Megan's Song

- Wednesday, September 27, 2000 17:47

Harry Carey sums up 1997 [changed my mind, I'm not going to even upload it to save Clanpages some damn bandwidth tee hee], in video format! The file is about 35 megs. Oh yeah, and I put the Half-Life color logos/decals "tutorial" on a age of it's own, right here. I also put links to it on the files and CS tips page.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 00:02.

The worst movie ever made, starring that Pepsi girl, which Rosie O'Donnel said was "a cool CHICK FLICK", called "Beautiful," directed by Sally Field. Eat me, humanity.

- Tuesday, September 26, 2000 19:14

Jsoh and I still think that joke of "hey, who got that unique V 1.03?" in Diablo 2 is still funny. But there's a good reason--BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T GET IT. We go "hey, who got that unique?" and then people will start questioning and asking, and wondering where it is, and asking each other who got it. There it is! IT'S MINE! Hey, where'd it go? Who took it?! WHO FUCKING TOOK IT ASSHOLES, THAT WAS MINE! Anyway.

- Sunday, September 24, 2000 22:12

You don't need a gun to blow your mind. But it helps! :) ROOLF! ROFLOL!

- Sunday, September 24, 2000 21:57

Domain names at $35 a year. Just imagine this site at creexul.com or something. Or virtualcreexul.com or creexulonline.com. JUST IMAGINE IT. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULDN'T BE IMAGINING IT RIGHT NOW. Oh yeah, since our message board is down, we fell back to our old SECRET message board, and we got up to thread 420. I'd post the URL to prove it, but then I realized that some person, who hasn't even shown up for about a month now (i.e. two days) probably wouldn't want me doing that.

- This page was last updated on Sunday, September 24, 2000 04:02.

Don't need a gun to blow your mind O no O no But maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me Gotta pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues and you know it don't come easy Mista Mojo Rising Wrap your arms around my feet, yeaaauh Wrap your hair around my skin Can you help me to understand? Can you see the real me, can ya? Can ya!

- This page was last updated on Saturday, September 23, 2000 02:17.

helo i am jsoh i canot speal my onw naem bekuz i m dum lol LEWL!!!!!!!!! Uh, anyway. I DLed a 14 minute EVH guitar solor from the Dave days. It's way too long and the sound quality sucks but it's still really awesome. It feels like these headphones are electrocuting me. Everytime I listen to music the way it was intended, I flashburn away a few more points off my IQ. We saw the Styx and Peter Frampton Behind The Music. I noted that it was almost mandatory for both episodes to bash both acts for a full 15 minutes. The Styx bashing part was the best though. The fucking band's own stupidity had to be admitted, by the band members themselves. Styx, love them or hate them, they suck. It's a simple, inescapable fact. And in other news, New "Halen" CT has finally been renamed back to New Haven. But it is apparently still 5150 tiiiiiiiiiiime.

- Friday, September 22, 2000 20:18

Adventures of Kitty and Flower, episode 4. Thanks to Gid "Soul Man" Roror for the inspiration, and the post to steal the actual content from. It doesn't matter who's post, really. Who cares?

- Thursday, September 21, 2000 18:57

FEED ME A STRAY CAT

- Thursday, September 21, 2000 07:42

The magical Jsoh rented Magnolia the other day on DVD. The morning after that, mom was getting up for work and Mary was up getting ready for school. Both in the living room in front of the TV. I told mom that Jsoh rented Magnolia last night, and she said she didn't know anything about it, other than Tom Cruise was in it, and he was nominated for an Oscar or some such. So let her know that Magnolia was in the DVD player right now, and we could check out Cruise in it for just a minute! She agreed, and I started it up and immediately cued it up to Cruise's first scene. So the first two lines my mom and 13 year old sister heard in the movie were RESPECT THE COCK. And. TAME THE CUNT! Certainly a great moment in my life. Anyway, what could be better than the mp3s of Saturday Night Live Celebrity Jeopardy? Movie file versions! Which I got from JT, who is apparently God now, or something! All of these zipped files are in RealMedia format, so you need RealPlayer obviously. And they're about 7 megs, EACH. SNLCJ-ConneryDriverGoldblum-rm.zip SNLCJ-ConneryReynoldsLewis-rm.zip SNLCJ-DonahueReynoldsBrando-rm.zip SNLCJ-ReynoldsTravoltaKeaton-rm.zip SNLCJ-ConnerySandlerCruise-rm.zip SNLCJ-ConneryReevesSwank-rm.zip SNLCJ-ConneryFlockhartCage-rm.zip SNLCJ-ConneryStuartReynolds-rm.zip

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, September 20, 2000 23:18.

I just updated my Lewis Black site, which is good I guess. Visiting all the old pages connected to it, just makes me feel bad. There's obviously crap that needs to be changed. Stuff from a year ago that just looks dumb to me, and needs to be changed completely. If this was a year ago, I'd do that. But for some reason, I'd rather bitch about it on this site than actually do something like revamp the design. The site's been the same simple black on white for two years and running. And while it serves it's purpose, I can't help but feel like a small timer with my plain site. All the sites I visit on a daily basis have a giant amount of graphics that are all professionally desgined. Or not! But my site has the plainest of plain design. Last time I got stoned, I ended up totally bumming myself out on my site. Even CRG is like an HTML mecca compared to my Lewis Black site. And then you check out lewisblack.net and it's totally professional. Just a really great design with really good graphics. And while I think it's great for Lew, it makes me feel bad about my site. And for the first year and a half, I ate breathed and slept the Lewis Black site. I updated it a few times each week with whatever. Always willing to gather some sounds from out of my headphones, through the stereo. A very long process just to get those sounds but I never cared. And that's really what's fucked me over now. The stereo's junked, the VCR refuses to let us watch the cable channels, we don't have a video capture card of any kind, or an audio lab, or anything that I could use to maintain the site. The site which is about a thousand times more important than this one. You won't see random Who or Doors mp3s on the Lewis Black site. I've depressed myself. Time to eat food and watch movies. And I did not intentionally misspell "Trendiness" down there. I was dead tired, and I'm not fixing it. I'm tired now and my hand is internally bleeding from the main vein.

- This page was last updated on Monday, September 18, 2000 20:21.

. No, that's not a synth. That is a guitar. And in other news!!!!! The new ClansRGay shirts are in! You can pick from any of our wide variaty of designs. Here's all of our current selection: No, we don't really have CRG shirts, but now I wish we did. Anyway, I know I make a lot of spelling mistakes in my updates, which I try really hard not to do. Sometimes I never catch them for a month. I went back and fixed the ones from my last post.

- Monday, September 18, 2000 11:17

Some guy who posts to the Mr. Cranky message boards IMed me a couple weeks ago, and we found out he's one of the maintainers of a site called drunkenlosers.com. Jsoh and I figured he could link to us since we were "chatting" with him now. He didn't yet, and after going over the site a few times, we figured WE DON'T WANT HIM TO ANYMORE. First reason being that there's a button at the top of the left panel that has a link to vote for that site at the "Top 100 E/N Sites." That's a good enough reason right there. And second, one of the other people at the site is named "Sour Grrl." Please. Get us away from THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! There's a sucker born every minute, and a PT Cruiser for each of them. I think the PT stands for "Parent Teacher."

- This page was last updated on Sunday, September 17, 2000 13:28.

The Curse of The You Better You Bet Or something. I bought the My Generation, Best Of a month ago and since I don't have a real CD player, our CD ROM messes up a song sometimes. Like the last track from said CD. It would never ever play it without skipping. And it would generally skip in 3 different parts of the song. Fucking CD ROM. So I decided to rip the song. If you don't even like You Better You Bet, then go ahead and stop reading. And if you don't like The Who, then you need to be slapped. Each and everytime I ripped the song, it came out skipping from the very beginning. So I decided to just get it from Naghpstir. ILLEGALLY. Even tho it's legal if you own the song. I'd be more likely to be jailed for owning a pirated copy of QpoundsignA, which doesn't remotely bother me seeing as how q#a sucks ass to high hell. So there. I dunno what I've been living on, but it's not enough to fill me up. I need more than just words to say, I need everything this life can give me, HAYA HAY. 0r whatever. So I DL the mp3 and it ends up SKIPPING. No. It turned out ok. You want proof eh? I thought you would. I'll take The Rapists for 200 I showed up late one night with a neon light for a visa. But knowing I'm so eager to fight can't make letting me in any easier. I know that I been wearing crazy clothes, and I look pretty crappy sometime. But my body feels so good and I still sing a razor line every time. Oh, and Who's Next. Baba skips sometimes. That sucks. http://guestcities.com/guestbook/flipo887-view.html Down a few entries and you'll see it. This guestbook is at geocities, even tho this is an anime site hosted at ppgworld.com, and one of the maintainers of the site being a guy named "surge420." Humanity, you continually dissapoint me.

- Sunday, September 17, 2000 03:12

We're sort of getting to work on the next gargantuan batch of pictures for the latest gallery update, which MIGHT MAYBE be here in a few days. Of course, no one reads this site, so it doesn't exactly matter WHEN I update the gallery. Anyway! ClansRGay presents, the very best of MegDeath. I mean, Megan, of the SUCK MY DICK variety. SHE'S CRAZY COO™. Most of these conversations are pretty old, by the way. But still fun, because Megan is actually smarter than your average internet idiot. Which is really surprising, because she's female! Isn't that crazy? And completely unexpected. But she is quite perceptive when it comes to how stupid people is, and therefore should be considered a national treasure or some such hilarious insanity. What the courts would call sexual harassment, I call a conversation! Make light of the weight, time off from HECK. Anime is fucking queer. Anal Cunt is art, Japanabes are stupid, and back when our message boards were brand new, instead of gone. MEGDEATH. WHEN I GET HIGH, I GET HIGH ON SPEED And a special addition to the best of! IT'S CRAZY COO, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Sunday, September 17, 2000 00:33

For some reason, the damn weapons guide didn't upload. But I uploaded it now.

- This page was last updated on Friday, September 15, 2000 09:22.

NORM. MACDONALD. IS. DAMN. GOD. Uh, anyway. I'm going to give you all something to listen to while we slack on updates. Saturday Night Live, Celeberty Jeopardy, with Sean Connery, Minnie Driver, and Jeff Goldblum Connery, Calista (or whatever) Flockheart, and Nick Cage Adam Sandler, Tom Cruise, and Connery Sean Connery, French Stuart, and Burt Reynolds (warning, whoever recorded this was a fucking retard--you can actually hear his computer beeping or some such) Marlon Brando, Phil Donahue, and Burt Reynolds Connery, Keanu Reeves, and Hilary Swank Burt, Keaton, and Travolta Connery, Reynolds, and Jerry Lewis And here's a screentest from the Star Wars movie, as a bonus! And of corse, the time Norm hosted SNL Have a nice day.

- Friday, September 15, 2000 00:22

SO TELL ME WHY CAN'T THIS BE LOOOOOVE TELL ME WHAAAAAY CAN'T THIS BE LOOVE BEUDP ATHPAE WIFE BEAT BPAUH API VPHU PEPSI DAPIUH Anyway.

- Wednesday, September 13, 2000 23:44

Jsoh and I actually did some updated on the CS Weapons Guide we wrote a long time ago. We fixed some of the screwy information about the guns that's changed, and added the new (GAY) pistols for the new beta. The gay pistols, which are actually pretty nice. And we updated the CS Tips.

- Wednesday, September 13, 2000 19:21

They say it's really kind of frightening how this younger generation swings, you know it's more than some new sensation. Well the kid is into losing sleep, and he don't come home for half a week, it's more than just an aggrevation. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOW

- Wednesday, September 13, 2000 17:41

I figured that we've already put in our last updates about The-Space, and could just move on, but still have to put up with the spamming on our message board. It turns out that Brent (a.k.a. B'tren) sent off a mail to the people at Gamehappy about us perhaps being able to run a Starcraft site for them... maybe! But he also included this, before getting to the business: First of all, before I go into the business side of this email, on behalf of the other regular posters on the message board would like to apologize for the recent spamming and trolling that has gone on the ClansRGay board. We have something of a rivalry with another clan at http://www.the-space.net. I'll spare you the details, since I know how clan rivalries can be very tedious and uninteresting, but the end result was that one or more of their members felt the most mature way to deal with our recent flamings of them on their boards (which are detailed on recent updates at http://clansrgay.clanpages.com) would be to spam our board. Which directly affects your servers. We apologize for bringing this down on you. So JT goes to our message board today, and it's not there, instead replaced with a message. Might as well do what everyone else does when they "report news." Under Re-Construction It has come to our attention that we have been getting a Denial of Service Attack to our message boards. Basically some knuckleheads have been using a DOS (Denial Of Service), a.k.a. pinging utility to repeatedly hit our message boards in an automated fashion with the intent of overloading our server. Our message boards we're running on the same server as GameHappy.com and the main ClanPages.com Server (none of the hosting servers). The DOS attack was preventing the use of any of these services. We apologize for the inconvenience, but in order to prevent this attack and decrease the load on our server we must halt this service temporarily (The Message Boards) until we correct the problem. We just placed an order for 15 additional servers to help increase our processing capabilities; in addition to this we're totally rebuilding the Message Board engine. The new engine will be able to process about 200x as many transactions in the same amount of CPU time; all of this will prevent attacks to our system in the future. We are aware of who's involved in these attacks and legal action is being taken. Now maybe it's a big coincidence, and it was some OTHER group of lamers that were using the attacks on the servers. Since there could be legal problems, I'll just leave it at that, and not say FOR SURE that it was the people at The-Space. God forbid they take it as slander and threaten to sue some more. Then again, if it was them, they won't be around to threaten anything.

- Wednesday, September 13, 2000 16:23

Finally added content to the reviews page. So there's our reviews, right up there.

- Wednesday, September 13, 2000 15:35

I hate people who can nap. I used to ATTEMPT to nap, right after school mostly, but then I would find myself waking up at 6 AM--time to get ready for school again. By the way, Jsoh, they link to your site right at the bottom of the lewisblack.net page.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, September 13, 2000 12:03.

http://www.somethingawful.com/en/index.htm They parodied our site about 2 years before we stopped with our CS content and just used the site as a public forum for whenever we're pissed at our mom. I guess this means our site is bad! http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/mods/index.htm And they also hated CS about 2 years before I even got sick of CS! By the way, newsflash!!!!!!!!!!! I am totally CSed out. If I ever get the feeling that I wanna play some deathmatch, I'll just fire up some Counter Strike instead, since it's basically the same thing, except I can't kill EVERYONE in the server. I'm probably just gonna stick to Sven or whatever. Man am I tired. I'm letting you know that I happen to be tired. Letting you know that I will soon be engaging in the act of "sleep." Just thought I should let you know, since I know you want to know. By the way some more: www.lewisblack.net My site looks like shit in comparison, SO GIVE ME UNWARRANTED AMOUNTS OF SYMPATHY or something. Ok, now I am going to sleep. Hopefully when I wake up, the reviews page will actually be up with our disjointed and unrelated reviews. I can use a few of them as a springboard for my new domain, www.animesucks.com

- Wednesday, September 13, 2000 03:51

Skimming through the post in Jsoh's update, I'm proud. Reading their responses to our posts, you can see that they all say basically the exact same thing, yet it have absolutely nothing to do with any of the things we bring up in our posts, which can only mean one thing. It's over. Pretty quick, too, it only took maybe an hour or two initially, and then just two days of settling in. The only people who tried defending themselves were the admins (the posters, having no soul, don't count as real human beings, so they don't count at all), and as you could see by the threads and message board posts, they had literally nothing to fight with. The funniest admin posts were the ones where they immediately snap into the elementary school taunts, TELLING us to battle against their clan, not only proving that they don't even remotely understand why we trolled their boards, but what this site, and the tag behind it, even means. Trying to sum up this epic battle of stinging reality vs. trendy fucking pussies isn't easy. The easy part was the half hour total of making the posts, since we won the battle pretty much as soon as we started it. Make a couple "troll" posts simply stating the truth, followed by some random flame posts in order to throw the people mentally off balance (special thanks to JT for the great flame posts). The admins egos were so inflated from spending their time kicking and banning people any time they choose on a daily basis, that our very small amount of posts went a long way. Within a couple days, after only about twenty posts from our side, one of the admins was already too battered to go on, submitting his resignation to go tender his massivly bruised ego. Right after his birthday too, apparently. Happy birthday! Your present: a little taste of real life, ClansRGay style. Another chapter in the story of ClansRGay comes to a close. Oh yeah, and apparently some Space BBS stalker (probably an admin) has begun spamming our message board. Which means our post count will be going through the roof! The perfect end to this saga, with irony once again relentlessly smacking the sissy admins and their "fans" right in their collective fat pink face.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, September 13, 2000 03:12.

A new thread by Chiz. This will probably be the last that I post. Kicked again, this time for no reason at all. And no, I don't care that it's Space's material on our site. If push comes to shove, I'll go in and delete the binaries and design. Observe the sad and pathetic excuse for an argument these regs put up. "Guilty by association?" Sorry numbskull, but in order for associates to be guilty, they have to do something wrong first. And us crushing their gay message board was hardly the wrong thing to do. Besides, the only time I actually played on The-Space myself, I was not kicked or even spoken too about my tag. So what happened in the few weeks I didn't play? Were the leaders of the server infected with brain cancer? The proof is in the pudding. Their admins are numerous and all have giant egos. I'd totally ruin their pathetic souls if I even gave a damn, which I wouldn't. Not remotely. This is most likely the last update about them I will be making. However!!!!!!!!!! They're posting to our message board now. Sad sad sad. Our message board is even slower than theirs. HOPE YOU LIKE SITTING AROUND WAITING, GUYS.

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, September 12, 2000 05:08.

Ok, it's tomorrow. Most of these were not up-to-the-minute updates, because I really stopped caring about The Space about 10 minutes after we stopped our attack. So what you're basically missing is the part when all the regs wake up to see their beautiful land of prosperity and elitism TOTALLY SMODERING IN RUINS and decide to defend the ashes of their pathetic server. Or something. Some of these were created by other people who were simply pissed off. You'll notice that some apologize later in their own thread, which is just sad. People not even standing up for their own dignity and going to play on another of the 3000 Counter Strike servers. Admins need to lighten up BANed For NOTHING! hw_dll error Jade Frog Morbo = Ass ( i know he is a admin) Nevermind Power hungry admins with no lives. Spud. Why are so many people banned for nothing!! Ok, that's it.

- Tuesday, September 12, 2000 03:12

chatMegan+Jhoh4eva-publiccut.htm It's about 600K, who would want to read it? Personally, I REALLY DON'T KNOW. Oh, and Jsoh's comments about trolling/flooding The-Space's message board "to hell" are really inappropriate and mean. So really, I don't see why you're not trolling their BBS RIGHT NOW. Besides, don't forget the already-proven fact that they just plain suck. Ass, even. Which is mainly the reason why I don't actually want to link to their site. God forbid someone who doesn't want to troll ACCIDENTALLY hits that link, thinking that perhaps they might come across some slightly interesting content. Instead, unprepared for the unbridled shittiness of the site, they go blind for a month. This just in from a confidential source! Brent079 (3:22:55 AM): They deleted all the threads in the-space bittew. HAHAHAH and he's not that confidential. He confided in me that they deleted the troll threads. But they were good while we had them. In fact, we still have them, and will be posting them to this site soon. Maybe. Sooner than the next gallery update (which we have about a thousand pictures for, but the job is always so fucking gut wrenching that I always fear making yet another three-hour grueling mental journey to update to the gallery).

- This page was last updated on Sunday, September 10, 2000 19:40.

I made the below update rather hastily, so it's kinda cloudy to anyone who isn't ME. Me, Jhoh, JT and Chiz in the CRG spent an hour or so posting to The Space's message board. Right now, I have the HTML pages archived on my HD, so when they do delete it I can just post it up here. I'll probably post it up here in a day or so anyway, seeing as how they are simply falling for the troll. And they all are falling hard. http://www.the-space.net/ Fuck making that a link. I'd hate to be respensible for someone accidentally clicking it and taking in the immense stupidity of that shitty site. Take a look at the bottom of the page. First off, what kind of bastard elitist server keeps tabs of reasons they kicked a player? Sadder yet is that the list completely changes every few minutes. These people have booted or banned half the CS community by now. Uh, anwya. Man am I hung over. The below update is two emails I fired off to the small sampling of the 40+ admins for that server. Their ONLY server. In the next few days, we'll be posting those pages, and maybe perhaps the AIM logs with Chiz and JT and such. In the meantime, it would be great if all of you could flood onto that message board and send it to hell. And those that do might just end up immortalized on this site when I update the HTML pages of the topics. Or whatever. [Update slightly edited by Jhoh Cable--YOU'RE WELCOME JSOH, YOU SURE MADE AN ASSLOAD OF SPELLING ERRORS ON THIS ONE]

- This page was last updated on Saturday, September 09, 2000 17:44.

You need to leave the admin roster, seriously "TKers are easier to deal with than a power hungry admin who is bent on making everyone feel his pain. Please refrain from visiting your server, you make the game an unbearable asspain. Thank you for your time." Bigotry "'There are several folks on The Space server who wield the terrible and awesome power of the rcon password. These folks have the ability to kick, ban, and mock you - chances are good they're doing so right now.'" Please, do not allow your server to be admin'd, because it doesn't need it. The code that's in there now allows TKers to be dealt with very easily, so I don't see why you need 40 admins. On that note, sign me up, so I can at least play. I do not wish to remove your server from my GS favorites."

- Saturday, September 09, 2000 14:06

This guy definitely has emotional problems. What's worse was that he had control of the server (definitely not a good idea). I kept my name under check until I was done (I wanted to play office, after all), and then when cbble came up, I changed my name to [ClansRGay]Whine-Frog so I could be kicked and "go find another server" (which wasn't even remotely difficult, therefore making the threat of being kicked completely pointless and transparent). I wanted to change it to [ClansRGay]Whine-Slug, but I figured that it was much too subtle for him to understand, and cause him to randomly kick everyone in the server and accidentally ban himself or something, which was certainly not my goal! Just another example of how ClansRGay can instantly obliterate a server op's mental stability, with its mere presence.

- This page was last updated on Friday, September 08, 2000 21:40.

Just played some deathmatch or HL, I figured it would be simple fun since the new netcode. Didn't realize two things: one, the new netcode doesn't apply to this, so it was impossible to aim. And two, cheating is more rampant than I could have ever imagined. Every few seconds, a beam from the gauss gun shot past my head, through a wall (I thought the new patch got rid of this). There was one guy in the server who wanted to duplicate yesterdays performance of 300+/0 but couldn't because o darn he already died once. And every time he killed someone, 3 others who were nearby went down. He had impossible accuracy and strength, taking two fucking contact grenades and then killing me on more than one occasion. Sad. I'd rather stick to singleplay if that's the way the HL MP community is gonna be. I would love to begin work on a very small SP map that was packed with fun HL goodness, but we can't even fucking get to worldcrtaf's site to get the latest version, so fuck that.

- Friday, September 08, 2000 17:49

I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I need mana. Not enough mana. I am overburdened.

- Friday, September 08, 2000 17:23

FROSTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frosties motherfucking assfuckingly killed fucking assfuck GOD. Because they are good. By the way, if you like this site, feel free to send Jsoh or I a free Stone of Jordan. Our D2 account name is Nepchewn, whisper us! ^________________^^^^^^^^^^666666666666666666666666666666666666666

- Friday, September 08, 2000 07:00

Neptune Salad (6:41:18 PM): Something awesome happened. Neptune Salad (6:41:29 PM): I found a Stone of Jordan! scream508 (6:41:35 PM): Meaning? ;_; I HATE MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEE *tells everyone I'm commiting suicide in order to garner some free sympathy, while emoting "in stars" about how I'm doing this* *emotes "in stars"* IN CARS! :D LOFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- This page was last updated on Friday, September 08, 2000 03:45.

I'm on the verge of passing out, but I remembered this one thing that needs to be put on the site before I forget. Devin Townsend in press conference - :) I wrote this up and submitted it to Infernal Combustion, but they couldn't post it for some weird ass reason. So here you go.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, September 07, 2000 19:30.

kiss.htm Wrote this up for the Prindle Rock review whatever website, since I submitted Strapping Young Lad and they accepted it. Well they obviously aren't accepting this one, which sucks because my kiss page should be the only kiss page. So I'm posting it here. Now my bitch sister is shreeking at my bitch mom. On a daily basis, I have to listen to these whores whine at each other for the dumbest reasons. Anyway... http://www.envy.nu/charlotte/breasts/01-10.html The only good part about this site. She updates it with pictures of her huge tits. So why no pictures of her cunt or ass? Perhaps it's because she's ugly as sin.

- Thursday, September 07, 2000 17:54

This is what you'll get when you call here: [answering machine message] [click] Me: HELLO! HELLO!!!! I'M HERE! ARE YOU THERE?! YES, I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE VOCAL CONTACT WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING PLEASE! Other person: Hello. Me: Hello. [silence] Other person: Your brother talks more than you do. Either one of us: Okay, bye. One of the guys who called me told me that his 50 year old dad liked our Sammy Hagar parodies. When he told me that, the lyrics to "AIDS Walks In" jumped into my head, and I became increadibly ashamed and proud at the same time. Look down, there is a tutorial for making color logos in Half-Life!

- Tuesday, September 05, 2000 00:33

Some guy suggested that I add the tutorial to making color logos on my site. I figured it wasn't all that neccessary, but IF IT GIVES ME MORE HITS! Anyway, this should work, as far as I know. If it really really doesn't (because it's tough to do really), I'll just fix it here on this site. First, make a bitmap file that's either 64x64, 128x64, 112x80, 256x32 or 192x48 (others are possible but I don't know the formula so you might as well just stick with these because they're good enough). Remember that the first dimension is width, so if it's 256, you'll have an extremely long decal. Second, make your image in there. Whatever it is, some pot reference, a picture of a pot leaf, or some nude bichzzzz. After you're done, go in the colors menu and reduce the colors to 256. This is what it looks like on Paint Shop Pro: You have to edit the palette (in Paint Shop Pro there's an "edit palette" option in the colors menu). This is what that menu looks like in Paint Shop Pro: As you can see, the very last color on the palette is a clean blue. That's the transparent color. It HAS to be blue, and it HAS to be the the last little square on there. You just click on the square (or double click) and it'll bring up a thing that lets you edit that color. You just pick blue. You also have to make sure that none of the other color boxes are blue. However, this is probably the part you'll have some trouble with. Sometimes you'll still end up with just a blue area where it should be transparent, after you make the decal. There's a way you can fix this (I think!) if that's what happens. You should first set your transparent color to another clean color, like plain yellow, and make sure it's not the last palette color box. Then you just draw your transparent areas as yellow, and then afterwards you make the last palette box blue, pick that color, and replace all the yellow with that blue. And that should probably work. It's not like I'm an expert here. Here comes the "complicated" part, although this is really pretty easy. Rename your bitmap to "pldecal." (For the retards, DON'T PUT THE QUOTES AND PERIOD IN THE NAME OF THE FILE, DUH!!!!!) You download this zip file, unzip it, copy (you don't want to lose it in case you mess up or something) your bitmap into the folder. Then you run the .bat file (the one with the program window with the big yellow gear in it), and it should automatically run the two programs in there, and make a pldecal.wad file. That's your color decal. You replace the pldecal.wad files in your cstrike or tfc or valve folders/directories with the color pldecal.wad that you just made (and for the newbies, directory is another word for folder on your computer). Then you go into a game, wait a minute so your logo gets sent off and downloaded, and then spray it to see if it works. If it doesn't, e-mail me and I'll see what the problem is, but only if the problem is in the instructions itself. Otherwise, it's probably something you did, and don't bother e-mailing me because I'll ignore it, and laugh at what a moron you are. Unrelated words of warning: make sure it's not someone ELSE giving you the contents of the above zip file, because since they are programs, people can edit them to implant viruses. Not that they would, but it is possible if someone wanted to play a "prank" on you (nice prank, assholes). Or they could edit the .bat file to screw with your computer. The contents of the .bat file are really just a couple commands that, when you run the file, simply activates those programs and puts in the commands to make the wad file instantly. If you want to check and see the .bat file's commands, just right click on it and pick "edit." It should have this in it: makels . pldecal pldecal.ls qlumpy pldecal That's all that should be in there. -- just helping to spread paranoia -- Anyway, my site should be rife with hits! I can't wait to get a special "thank you" e-mail from Clanpages for increasing their traffic so much and their ad revenues go up so they can afford to upgrade our damn slow ass message board. Remember, if I missed anything important, e-mail me, or IM me on AIM (bottom of the page).

- This page was last updated on Monday, September 04, 2000 16:28.

You know, this site used to be about Counter Strike. For you new readers. We had actually planned on a bunch of cs related material. Now it's taking a back seat to our whining. Isn't that too bad? Fuck you. As far as I know, mom is still cancelling our net connection. I made a proper notification about it on my site, and someone sent my mom a fax. Someone from Disney, apparenlty@! So mom faxed them back, like the moron she is. And I think they sent something back already. As a matter of fact, I think they sent it at 2 am. Which is good, because I don't even hear it, but it apparently wakes mom up. That's what she gets. Apparently she's so starved for power, since she can't control her own shitty life, that she's attempting to sap us of any power we have. Threatening about a billion awful fates, while I'm trying to make the most of the fact that she takes almost every cent I have. What else can I do?

- Monday, September 04, 2000 00:14

TELL ME WAI ^_^ I HAVE TO BE A POWASLAAAAVE I DON'T WANNA DIE, I'M A GOD... OF SEAFOOD!!!!!!! LOL:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Sunday, September 03, 2000 23:11

We're still here, actually. But I'm playing Diablo 2 all the time, because I foolishly traded my Frostburns for a Jang BONG!!!!!!!!, because I loved the name THAT MUCH, and now I'm spending all my time trying to get Frosties again.

- This page was last updated on Friday, September 01, 2000 08:41.

Stoned now. When the choice comes to me, will I want to become Jesus or will I want to be a Beatle, I'd rather be a Beatle. The Beatles were better than Jesus. And so were Beatles fans. You never saw Beatles fans burning pictures of Jesus. Xtains are morons. THANKS A LOT, JESUS. You know that Beatles burning (in Detroit, of all places) was just a respense by the jealous media and public to finally knock the Beatles' status down a peg. To bring the Gods down to their level. And so, of course, the Beatles crushed the church and zapped the minds of all Xtians so they spoke different languages, and babelled incoherently. Plus, the Beatles got to do drugs and screw underage females and ACTUALLY LEAVE THEIR HOMES. RAAFDDSAHGAAA.

- Thursday, August 31, 2000 17:44

You know, I think I'm one of the only few people who wouldn't take a cable connection for granted (OH, BUT IT'S SHARED BANDWIDTH), because anything faster than 31k is so much better. I guess that's why karma dictates that if I don't mind the occasional shutdowns of service, then it has to be threatened by a fucking insane moron of a parental unit. Karma is fucking gay.

- Thursday, August 31, 2000 05:47

Today, in Diablo 2, I found an item for the best set in the game, Jack's set. It's called "Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise." Now all I have to do is find the Smirking Revenge (a gun with holes drilled in it) and Bitter Rejection (a bar of soap... with holes drilled in it) and I'll have the whole set!

- Wednesday, August 30, 2000 19:25

Just as we expected, mom obviously "cut a deal" making us "sign a contract" for whatever because we don't "appreciate anything." So we won't be moving out. This happens a couple times a year anyway--her threatening to make us move in with our dad (who got severe brain damage in a motorcycle accident before we were born) or move into a group home or some such. She did still say that they were cutting off our internet, or some shit. If you want to find out if we still have the internet, up to the minute, call us. 734-422-3683

- Tuesday, August 29, 2000 15:14

I was going to post on the message board that we appear to still be here, but the message board is so slow that I can't even get to it. So I might as well post here. Still no disconnection yet. Could've been bullshit in the first place! But still, go ahead and call us if you want. I LIKE TALKING TO PEOPLE. Anyway, in the meantime, I'll probably end up spending most of my net time playing UT or Quake 3 now. Or Q3F. Or maybe Counter-Strike! And certainly not thinking about moving out, which is what mom says we HAVE to do on the first of the next month. Which is not only a couple days from now, but probably also bullshit. Oh yeah, everyone go to x-ploited.net and vote dust off, FOREVER.

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 13:36.

Still here, still alive. For the time being. Anyway, I went to x-ploited.net for some crazy reason and saw this on the poll results: de_aztec: 73 cs_assault2k: 119 cs_siege: 62 de_cbble: 70 de_dust: 108 A poll for what map we want removed. Dust needs a few hundred more votes.

- Monday, August 28, 2000 11:17

Mom decided to get our cable service disconnected. If you want to know why, just go ahead and call here at 734-422-3683. And call collect. DIAL 1-800-COLLECT! :) Or some shit.

- Sunday, August 27, 2000 18:59

Finally added those color logos to the files page, and I made some new buttons that link to the AIM files directory, and the soon-to-be-existing reviews directory.

- Sunday, August 27, 2000 17:32

http://x-entertainment.com/forum/messages/9003.html Probably soon to be deleted.

- Sunday, August 27, 2000 16:30

Neptune Salad (10:57:19 PM): New Counter-Strike beta is out. Belac111 (10:57:31 PM): Alright And we got Unreel Ternamint, too. So we can spread ClansRGay everywhere!

- Saturday, August 26, 2000 00:05

BY GRABTHOR'S HAMMER, I SHALL AVENGE YOU By the way, I'm sure that 50 of those 80 names are just times that I changed my name with the ClansRGay tag still there. Or something!

- This page was last updated on Friday, August 25, 2000 06:07.

Beware clans! I just checked the CLQ, and there's about 80 other people running around the HL mod world with our tag in their name. Cool.

- Thursday, August 24, 2000 19:31

Lewis Black says the CD is in the mail. I can't wait.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, August 24, 2000 18:14.

OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alright, gonna try to just go to sleep or somehting after this. 1: Most people don't like VH, because they're too interested in their piano rape or Cure or really "like deep meaningful stuff." Sadly, these people are morons and their music sucks ass. Even worse (!) is that VH is a fucking awesome band. Most people think of VH as just a party hearty band, but way back in the 70's they were putting out more meaningful songs than any stupid piano rape bullshit. And they put out a lot of it. VH is better than your favorite band. And 2: Just because something is popular in the "underground" doesn't make it instantly awesome. Most underground stuff sucks ass. You know what is awesome? Led Zeppelin never put out a single. EVER. Never did they release a 2 song disc, costing about half the price of a 8 song album. They didn't grant many interviews, but they're still one of the most legendary and popular bands on the planet. They and Sabbath helped CREATE the music known as Heavy Metal. Now Kiss was made famous because of the mystery behind who the band members were. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kiss released a shitload of crappy singles that sucked and did every publicity stunt imaginable, along with releasing a fucktillion pounds of garbage merchandise. Fuck that queerness.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, August 24, 2000 17:46.

When VH's first album was released, it was monumental. Some of the best guitar work ever. For a record company today, it would take about a trillion dollars to mimic VH's career with, say, Blikn 182. And that would involve a ton of stuido effects and a million manhours of messing with the tapes and such. Eddie just plays, and it's awesome. To think that in 1978, something as awesome as that was made, it's just insane. And of course, I missed out on that by several years. I suppose that all the guys in VH totally lost respect for Kiss, which is nice. True story: Gene Simmon's demo he finacned for VH went NOWHERE, and the band was actually discovered by a guy named Mo Ostin, who caught a show a year after the demo was released, and signed them. Gene was just trying to slowly lure Eddie into Kiss, probably to replace Kiss' guitar players. And of course, Eddie's a musician not a rock star, so he basically told Gene to FUCK OFF WITH YOUR PAINTED GAYNESS AND ACTION FIGURES AND LUNCH BOXES, I'll do it my own way. Total fucking professional, as opposed to Kiss.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, August 24, 2000 03:47.

All radio stations suck. When I was in middle school, I had to take the bus. This bus had a radio in it. That might be good or bad in any situation, it was bad in ours. The bus driver always kept it at easily listening, which made sense because the bus was always packed full of a bunch of bratty brats. How bad are radio stations in general? EVERY SINGLE DAY, we all heard Walking on Broken Glass and that Billy Joel song about walking in his sleep or whatever. Everyfuckingday, on this bus ride. Did these DJs ever hear of anything not on the billboard top 20? All radio stations play a format nowadays. It all adds up to all the stations playing singles instead of good songs. Fuck that. Man am I tired.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, August 24, 2000 02:05.

dreamingfromthewaistsuccesstory.zip I know you love it. Shit, I want to work on that svencoop map I started about half a year ago. It was a nice idea, and while I scrapped the helicopter battles already for sure, it's still sure to be a fun map. It will probably end up being more fun when I uninstall, reinstall, patch, smoke pot, and start working on my old map again with worldcrtaf. Now I want to get to work on some singleplayer maps. Man, life is hard when you're not trained for it. I feel like I wanna break out of the house.

- Wednesday, August 23, 2000 11:44

Here's a sad story about what addiction will do to you. I just fished around in my garbage can, under a Lunchables "Mega pack" Deep Dish Pizza bocks--er, box, a plastic bag, huge lint-like collections of dust I peeled off the ceiling fan blades this morning, a light bulb, a few cans of tuna fish salad mix, another Lunchables Mega pack, nachos this time, along with bags and pouches and containers from all the above food items, many many candy wrappers, paper plates with ashes on them from when I emptied out the ash tray into the garbage. All this so I could go in and get the pack of Swisher Sweets cigars I threw away a few days ago (because I figured they were so harsh and nasty that I should stop smoking them), and pluck the remaining two mini cigars from them. I'm still smoking one of them right now, and the other one is in the ash tray waiting for me to light it up. And they smell like cherry flavored Chap Stick. While I was typing this, the cigar went out. So now I have to relight it. And if there's anything harsher than one of these cigars, it's a relit cigar. Or a double-relit, actually. Which will probably happen. And then the second one will be a quintuple relit cigar by the time I finish it. No wonder these damn things are harsh.

- Wednesday, August 23, 2000 10:53

This is what makes it all worth while. Quiet synth noodling = time to turn it up to 140 decibiles so that the guitar kick-in sounds like a fucking wall of screaming hell noise projected right into my fucking fuckskull, so I can actually feel my brain vibrating as Keith Moon blasts the bass drum again. So now I know what it felt like when Pete was standing next to Keith's drum kit at the end of their appearance on Smother's Brothers. This is the only REAL way to listen to MOTHERFUCKING music.

- Wednesday, August 23, 2000 08:45

Time for another new AIM log. COMPLETELY POINTLESS TO ADD A PERSONAL COVERSATION BETWEEN MYSELF AND SOME OTHER GUY. BrentekcsentertainmentBBSDBZfriend.htm Oops, I just posted it anyway, too bad. I just realized that all this AIM log posting is a derivative of this site. Brent says that everything is a derivative of something, though. Of course, he just says that because he's a giant derivative of me. And I mean GIANT.

- Wednesday, August 23, 2000 07:50

You know, derivatives are a good thing! Mainly, when it comes to the public, they will refuse to enjoy, tolerate, or pay attention to something that is TOO different or original. That is the nature of humanity. We all need something that looks like something we have at least already seen once, so it will be familiar, therefore we can enjoy it more. Even if it sucks, at least it's familiar, therefore we can still like it. I'm starting to sound like Calvin and Hobbes now. THAT'S A GOOD THING. Time for a mental road trip. If I were to ever get a tattoo, it would be a huge one of Calvin and Hobbes, on my back. And I'd be one step closer to fitting the description of a serial killer, of course. I've mentioned this already. Hey, WASSUP? :) LOL! What's up? Hey, what's going on? Hello, lol. :) Hey there, LOL! :) Check out my interview page! New interview up for the year of 1999! I sure do hate smilies. Here's a complete list of all the smilies I like, even though I'll admit to myself IN PRIVATE (God forbid I actually tell someone what I know is true) that some of the smilies I have on the list are fucking Godawful symbols of fucking trendy idiocy--not that there's anything wrong with that. God forbid I tell one of my fucking queer overweight lazy friends that their fucking stupid "emote" is fucking stupid, and their friends who like them are fucking idiots, which is part of the reason why they like them, THE OTHER REASON BEING THAT YOU ARE ALL PART OF A GARGANTUAN SQUISHY TRENDY GROUP OF LOSERS WITH NO LIFE. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Not that there's anything wrong with that killed God. I'm bitter about it because I used to be one of those people, until I realized I was being conditioned to hate and shun originality and intelligent creativity and reasonable thought, and I was being menetally ripped off. I need some more cigs. :( unhappiface lol:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+ That's my dramatic reenactment of my life, circa a year or two ago. I will now emote, in "prose," "out loud," that I am taking a small bow, and curtsy. Then I will say "goes to eat food, LOL:)" which is a sign that I need to be motherfucking exterminated.

- Wednesday, August 23, 2000 05:01

So I guess this is our fan base. This is the minority group we appeal to. By the way, I was watching some Rocko's Modern Life today, and it reminded me just how much that show KILLED GOD.

- Wednesday, August 22, 2000 [or something, I forgot the timestamp on this, and fixed it the next day or some shit]

In the vein of detonate.net, some other queer site has put up their own "bastardization" of The Matrix, this time mainly based off the game that FUCKING KILLED GOD, Half-Life. And it's not bad either. Half-Life killed God. Half-Life: it sure did kill God! By the way, I was thinking, maybe I could make my own "bastardization" of The Matrix, or some movie! And then a second later, I figured NO, I don't want to. Good thing too, it means I'm at least a tad original. A tad tad.

- Tuesday, August 22, 2000 15:00

I now have two different screamingly hilarious and witty internet aliases right now: "Nepchewn" (Neptune Salad) and "Creexul." Which is one more than I need. But really, it's TWO more than I need, because my real name is Jhoh Cable. That seems like a fine enough "alias" because sometimes people just don't believe that it's my real name--or they say "wow that's a cool name," or some such hilarious insanity. However, I don't use it because I already have a relative named Jhoh Cable (an uncle). And so let's not get us two mixed up! There's no one else in our immediate family named Jsoh Cable, though, so he can actually use that. I will just keep going by Nepchewn or Creexul.

- Tuesday, August 22, 2000 07:44

Many moons have passed since the worms went to war Onwards and upwards, bigger weapons than before Boggy B took cover, he shivered on patrol The arms race crazy, simply way out of control ;_;

- Monday, August 21, 2000 06:45

[This update is going to raise the standards of rambling that my site currently has. You can consider that your warning.] You might notice that the guestbook still works on that old site. "Comments: Gnifty page. Hope to see more stuff... Especially AGFF stuff! 0;) Also, I see my smiley made it onto the list. You've got good taste. 0;)" 0;) LOL What a fucking loser. I can't believe I used to talk to this moron on a daily basis. "Night Angel." Actually, I CAN. But I have to say that I can't for good measure, or whatever. The internet is fucking gay. That reminds me of a really old post I found recently. Someone on the newsgroup posted a picture of some Playboy bunny or some such, with little wings drawn in with Paint really cheap, saying "It's a picture of Night Angel!" (Pretty cliched name by the way--we later found out through a REAL picture that she was indeed fat, and considered herself a "goth.") And then everyone got up in arms about it, and this Night Whore loser claimed that it hurt her feelings so much and she felt bad about herself or some bullshit, and that it made her actually consider leaving the group (DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). The saddest thing was that the entire newsgroup saw itself as this ultimate gathering of intellectuals and "cool people" or some shit, and I fell in with that whole thing. That's all part of the long story. So long that I should never dare actually ATTEMPT to recall all of it here. Besides, none of it is really important because it's really just a child's newsgroup, something that you GROW out of. It's also a gargantuan spawning ground for trendy Japanabes, though, and therefore it must be DESTROYED, and the "regs" executed and their families vaporized and made to watch their children's heads explode, IN THAT ORDER. I'm sure you understand. Anyway, Jsoh wrote this mail specifically to the fat cow, asking her if it really was a problem that he was MAKING FUCKING JOKES about it, God fucking forbid someone have a sense of humor about something PLAIN-AND-SIMPLE STUPID. She replied to him replying to some other loser (Paradox--ANOTHER CREATIVE NAME), who obviously had/has emotional problems and no sense of humor. This was from Jsoh's (and my) early days of the internet, so we were still kind of innocent and pretty much not that original, but still he has a good point about that loser who was VERY ANGRY AT HIM, RAR. (And I'm pretty sure Jsoh wanted to fuck her--as did I back then, along with everyone else on the newsgroup because none of us had lives.) But after Jsoh made these comments, EVERYONE hated him because he was "making fun of the situation" and blah blah it's pretty fucking disgusting and it took me way too long to realize that all those people are fucking assfucks with no brains. Here's the post: >>> Neptune Salad wrote >> > By the way, what do you see in that guy? Is it because he's rich, and >> > you're a gold digger? >> > What what WHAT!? >> > >> > And, will you sleep with me? Not fuck, but just share a sleeping >> quarters, >> > and then you fall asleep and I grope you like a madman. >> > >> > Just kidding. Y'know. Sense of humor. Getting my laugh on. >> > > >One of the regs says: > >> Let me guess, this is Nep right. We need to have a little talk, soon. > >NA, do we? Is it really such a big deal, because I've seen much worse >happen to me. You got off easy, it's just a stupid ass picture, and >everyone knows it. It's not like we all said "Is that really NA, or not? >Because she's hot". It was pretty funny to me, but for you, it should've >been just a simple annoyance. It's nothing to be bothered with. You >should see some of the fuckers *I* had to deal with, on other NGs. And I >handled them quite well. there's a difference between a joke, and this. a joke would have been someone posting a silly animated cartoon of a woman with wings, under their own name. I would have thought that was funny. But someone posted this using a header that implicated one of my best friends, and I thought that I was going to have to leave the group. In fact, if my parents were to ever find out about this, I would have to leave, almost undoubtably. We'll get to why this made me mad in a minute.... >> > > > Nep's brother >> > > > Any more fanfics from NA? >> > > >> > > like what? newsgroup fan-fics, or FFVI fan-fics? because I've got >> some >> > > of each that I'm working on... >> > >> > Specifically the "Bail" fic. I *love* the writing, it's so much better >> > that the >> > >> > NA: Write like this >> > >> > style, where the name is just put up in front of the words. >> > >> > Nep >> > Likes long wings, hee hee >> > >> >> How did I know. Look, kid. Someone's hurt NA. Most of us take that >VERY >> personally. > >Too personally. Sometimes, there is a difference between being protecting, >and being a pussy. And Paradox has done an Olympic style leap over that >line, breaking the world record, with Atma in second... I think that what he was saying, was that since I didn't take this as a joke, then maybe you shouldn't bug me about it, hmmmm? >> If you have any sense, any remarks made to or about NA will be >> at least respectful for the next few days. > >A sense of humor can be quite helpful at times. It's always appreciated. I agree wholeheartedly. (or at least with as much of a heart as I have.... ;) hey, I am supposed to be evil after all...) but maybe now isn't the time? >> Setting the rules of decent behavior for you is getting to be a habit. > >Well, at least I'll let you speak for yourself unlike: > >> Paradox >> (and an angry Paradox at that) > >Don't mean to sound like a jerk, but if he can't take this, then he should >just stay away from real life, because in "RL", most people have a sense of >humor. > >This can't be a problem with you. It's too silly.< no, it IS a problem with me. it's not just that it made me angry, although it certainly did that..... It's creepy. You see, most likely, whoever did this thought he was being funny..... only there's the tinyest chance that whoever did it is some sort of internet stalker or something.... It creeps me out. I feel as though someone's watching me.... and I hate it. I'm no wimp, online or in real life, but I know my limitations. If someone attacked me with a knife, I'd pull my own, (because, you see, I really do carry a knife or several) and I would fight my best, and I hope I'd cut the mess out of whoever tried it, but I know I couldn't beat someone much larger than me. This scared me. the internet is where I can be whatever I want to. I'm painfully shy in real life, but on here I make friends easily. and it really disturbs me to think that one of my friends might have done this. I hate the uncertianity. I hate the Someone-is watching-me feeling. And I hate myself for being frightened by it. Night Angel Just a little backstory on what a fucking loser at least one of the people who signed my old guestbook is. A hint into my secret and mysterious internet past. A part that I now look back on in laughter, because it was just plain fuckin gay. Gay... like perhaps a clan!

- Sunday, August 20, 2000 13:21

I actually read my own old GeoCities site for the first time in a year or something, now that I have it uploaded. First, I'm leaving all the links there, no matter how broken. And I'm also leaving the content as it is, now matter how ABSOLUTELY SHITTY. I remembered at the last minute the auto popup window with my fucking newsgroup sig in it, because I thought the quotes of my friends and stuff from movies was SO HILARIOUS. And plus the picture on the front that doesn't work; I'm not changing that. It was just the "interview crab" picture, enlarged and clipped off with just the face, framed by some fancy frizzle frame that I put in with Kai's Photo Soap. I apparently deleted it or some shit. I sort of wish I still had it, because it actually looked not half bad. Unlike the rest of the site. In fact, with it there on the site, it would only make the site as a whole look GAYER. But that's part of the reason why I want the pic still there. Oh yeah, one other note, that Action Half-Life German art site that the creator "took down" because they hated the new Half-Life patch SO MUCH, is back up apparently under new management. Did I already post about this? I think so. But I should just repeat it, because it's fucking hilarious. I also have that page saved from when the site was down. I'll link to that now. HERE. And now that guy is long gone, forgotten about like a fucking ghost, a person who is worthless and whiny and outdated, like a fucking PUSSYCUNT WHORE. They probably got their head ripped off by a bus slamming into their face as they stuck their head out into traffic so they could see if a car was coming down the street. And then their corpse is raped. I think that's what would happen if there was justice in nature.

- Sunday, August 20, 2000 11:54

Downloaded the demo for Tribes, and I loved it.

- Sunday, August 20, 2000 11:42

I figured that, for posterity (i.e. so you can fucking laugh your ass off at me and how I thought I was so funny and interesting and creative--unlike now where I actually AM so Goddamn screamingly hilarious that you can't even comprehend it), I'd put up my old site. I squished all the pages down into a tiny little zip file, but it's all still there, with the simplistic and somewhat annoying blue text on green background. Don't go there looking for a button back to this site, because there won't be one. I'm even leaving up my old ICQ and AIM name and e-mail address, so do not become confused. If you want the password to the Neptune Sd AIM name, though, I think the password is "IloveMerry" or some shit. It used to be my AIM password (it was easy for me to remember), but then I changed it so I could just get that over with--that's a long LONG and sad and pathetic story about me that no one wants to hear, because it's gay and full of asspounding faggotry. And then when I got the new Neptune Salad AIM name, I just changed the Neptune Sd password back to IloveMerry as a joke. A hilarious joke. Of course, I already gave out the Neptune Sd password to a newsgroup, so they might've signed on it and changed it. Who can say? According to an associate, the password is invalid. Oh well.

- Sunday, August 20, 2000 11:32

That Worldnet story is really short now that I think about putting it down in text. We picked Worldnet at first, and then they switched from unlimited to ONLY 200 hours a month or something. Or maybe 50 hours, I dunno. It makes it sound better when I suggest it could've been 50 hours, because we ended up with a TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR SERVICE BILL. Then we were stuck without the internet for a while which apparently depressed me because I tried as hard as I could to keep in contact with my internet friends, and when I got back they didn't really care a whole lot (or at least some of the people I cared about, too fucking much). All I did was think about the internet until I got back to find out that people didn't spend all THEIR time thinking about ME. And that upset me, I think. I dunno, I think I just felt good to be back. Maybe I'm a giant fucking loser. But thank God I moved on. All thanks to my wonderful Ozzy and AC/DC and =VH= albums! Or Satan worshipping. You know, 666 is the one for you and meeeeeeee. WOAAAAAAAAAA A morning full of Cherry Coke and cigarettes = these recent updates. Can you say Mr. Tinkertrain? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Sunday, August 20, 2000 11:16

I remember back when I was 14 or 15, or 16 (so around 1995), I was first introduced to the internet-web thing, via my sister who was a big nerd and had a net connection. So I'd go over her place sometimes to go surfing around strictly for Calvin and Hobbes fan sites--I was really REALLY big on C&H back then. As I was being introduced to the internet trends constantly, the one I found to be just absolutely flat-out stupid from the very start were these silly "emoticon" things. People using a colon and an end parenthesis to make a happy face. How fucking sappy can you get? So I got a computer a couple years later, and a year after that a net connection (the whole "AT&T Worldnet" story is a completely other rant). And as I gained my round of faggoty and stupid internet friends, who were all giant losers--but respected me, so I liked them WHICH WAS MY FATAL FLAW--I began emulating them and growing accustomed to actually using these gay fucking smilies. ;) I would always end a sentence by hitting ctrl 3 on AIM, which would create that little yellow graphical smilie that looked like its face was bashed because one eye was one pixel and the other eye was five or some shit. And then in newsgroup posts I'd end sentences with :) or ;). It was probably the worst period in my life, which I draw the most shame from. I even had a web site back then on GeoCities which was mainly personal, stuff about me or my boring interests, along with some other stuff which I passed for content (and I have to admit to myself that, as a personal site, it was actually more redeeming than just "HERE'S SOME PICTURES OF ME, AND HERE'S ONE OF MY CAT LOL :) MY FAVORITE BANDS ARE BOB SEGER AND NIRVANA"). There is one thing, though, that I've kept from my queer-ass-fucking smilie-happy days. ^_^ Isn't that the fucking cutest thing you ever saw? Doesn't it just make you want to HUG? One last note, to clear my good internet name--ON THE INTERNET!--I never really ever used LOL, ever, seriously. I never laughed out loud at anything anyone said, aside from my brother. Even when I was talking about my tortured gothy soul :) or some shit like that, I never said LOL. And even if I had a reason to, I probably wouldn't. Besides, a lot of people using the internet just aren't funny. Not even REMOTELY. However. Oops, no, this is the end of the update. How did that "however" get there? I guess I ended up typing in between two thoughts. Hey, check out that Jang Bong picture below! Doesn't it make you want to smoke pot and rape women?

- Sunday, August 20, 2000 05:08

Everybody must become stoned.

- Sunday, August 20, 2000 05:07

It's been a few hours, time to pour through all our entries! The winner is: ME! I WIN!!!!!!!!!! I didn't even send in an entry to myself! Keep tabs on ClansRGay for our next contest, where you can win a brand new 2001 Choox! Exclaimation point!

- Saturday, August 19, 2000 23:03

Today I present a new feature to our barely existent site: our first ClansRGay contest! The rules to this one are fairly simple. I will give a phrase that you have to fill in, and whoever submits the best entry, to be judged by the ClansRGay judges (me, and maybe my brother), will be the winner! The winner will receive a ClansRGay t-shirt, made out of magical materials that can only be seen by someone with a "cynical and therefore hilarious" sense of humor. The phrase is this: 84% of women fantasize about rape, the other 16% ________________ This contest will last four business hours (in our business there is SIN!!!!!!!). We will not tell you how to submit your entires. HURRY, ONLY A LITTLE TIME IS LEFT!

- This page was last updated on Saturday, August 19, 2000 18:51.

I bought LZ2 with my allowintse today, so I'm gonna pack a fat ass bowl and fly into the fucking air.

- This page was last updated on Friday, August 18, 2000 15:01.

I think there is no worse thing on any multiplayer game than an admin who abuses his power. I was just banned from the gayest server ever, "Neophytes." The admins' both camped during dust, the server bans you for an hour and a half if you say "fuck" or "shit," and FF is on but you will be permenently banned for killing one team mate. Truly, a server with no fucking sense in it. I was banned by BOTH admins for pointing out their pathetic camping. On a fucking de map, that's just something you don't do. They should have banned themelves. All they did all fucking day was play dust. A 24 hour dust server. They used to play just assault2k and dust, but apparently they had another lobotomy. Factor in that I got a terrible ping on that server, and they really just did me a favor.

- Friday, August 18, 2000 08:58

And now I SHALL REIGN IN BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From a lacerated sky. :(

- Thursday, August 17, 2000 22:22

You know, I think that the best AI out of any game, EVER, has to be of the hirable NPCs in Diablo 2. The sheer brilliance of people who will fight along side you--minus the whining about lag, snatching up stuff they don't need that you do, whine that you're "casting too many firewalls" and ruining the game for them, trying to PK you by surprise, all while never even saying a word--is monumental. It's a sad testament to the average Bnet player when you create a game that actually says "no whiners" and no one joins. Not that I would ever do such a thing. Not that I'm so surprised by it all, either. But you know, I really DO want to play.

- Wednesday, August 16, 2000 02:25

Might as well add another AIM log too, FOR FUN: BrentCillkreek(sul)andJhoh.htm

- Tuesday, August 15, 2000 21:54

I flipped on some Quadrophenia and put myself into the job of finally updating the gallery with the horrendous assload of pictures we've had since our last update. But our gallery is the best gallery out of any web site even remotely related to video games or computers. Just thought you should know! And END OF FUCKING STORY--so no one can argue with me about the gallery being so good, because I said "end of fucking story," therefore negating any argument they can come up with. ANYWAY. Pages 57 to 77. An giant assload of pictures from Diablo 2 and CS and SvenCoop and such. I'm sure you can find the gallery from here, just look up a little tiny bit.

- Tuesday, August 15, 2000 18:42

We downloaded the Transformers movie on .asf (we will be deleting it after LESS THAN 24 hours!). I remember it being gay (as in gay enough to give me a giant pre-pubescent erection while watching it, back in 1989 or whenever), but damn, I don't remember the queer 20 minute long Scorpion song playing throughout the ENTIRE movie. This whole Transformers movie is a queertasm. God forbid I keep this crap on my hallowed hard drive more than 24 hours.

- Monday, August 14, 2000 13:49

New gallery update. Page 57 to Oops, I mean, update forthcoming. Maybe tomorrow. Or when this headache goes away. NOT RIGHT NOW I HAVE A HEADACHE LOL :)

- Monday, August 14, 2000 12:34

Sammy Hagar's entire career is a Pepsi commercial. It bears repeating.

- Monday, August 14, 2000 12:22

I did lose all my stuff. My gloves, boots, a nice gemmed helmet, amulet, rings, all of them needed to let me wear this Doom Suit full plate with 233 defense. So now that's stashed away in storage. Fortunately, Jsoh found for me an awesome sword! Even though I'm a sorceress... :( But, it's called the QUEERMASTICATE. How can you go wrong with that?

- This page was last updated on Sunday, August 13, 2000 23:29.

By the way, Jhoh did fix Half Life somehow. A few days ago in fact. But you know what? Some asshole on Battle.net stole all his stuff for his Diablo 2 character. Now he has crappy regular items and this fuck is rich. FUCK THAT SHIT.

- Saturday, August 12, 2000 15:46

In Diablo 2, Jsoh found the best unique amulet in the game possible. The "Shining Amulet of Queertasm," which raises your queernacity rating by +1, and it also gives you +1 to light radius.

- Thursday, August 10, 2000 13:41

Jsoh was looking for a Pete Townsend interview last night, to go with the "Baba O'Reily" comment from the My Generation - Very Best of The Who liner notes. This is the interview he was looking for, mainly for this quote: "'As recently as 1985,' he muses, 'I did a lecture at the Royal College of Art about the future of downloading music, and the audience walked out.'" By that, AND the story on the Baba synth riff, it looks like Pete really has an interest in the advancement of music and technology. Who says that computers are inhuman? THEY'RE DUMB OR SOMETHING, WHOEVER IT IS. All this starts making me think about the movie Pi.

- Thursday, August 10, 2000 13:31

Everclear is gayer than any clan.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, August 09, 2000 23:22.

Imagine that. 30 years ago, Jimi Hendrix recorded the one greatest song ever at the first Woodstock festival. A style of guitar playing that still hasn't been equalled. Now, 30 years from that, we have the leadsinger of the band EVERCLEAR telling us that the first Woodstock is why the world is so terrible now, because it created yuppies and the music is so old and "out of touch" with the modern world. Which the guy follows by going out on the stage at Woodstock 99 and reinventing the genre known as whine-core.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, August 09, 2000 20:23.

From My Generation, The best of the Who: Pete sez; "This was a number (Baba O'Riley) I wrote while I was doing these experiments with tapes on the synthesizer. Among my plans was to take a person out of the audience and feed information - hight, weight, autobiographical details - about the person into the synthesizer. The synthesizer would then select notes from the pattern of that person. It would be like translating a person into music. On this particular track I programmed the details about the life of Meher Baba and provieded the backing for the number." Fucking a.

- Wednesday, August 09, 2000 07:15

Here's today's AIM log, with some guy talking to my brother about his site. Pretty sad. I wouldn't trust my site with some guy who can't spell "you," and thinks that text instead of big flashy pointless buttons is "too confusing." What the fuck do you need "the whole deal" for on a FUCKING LEWIS BLACK SITE? Jsoh's statement about how he'd rather have "more content" is perfect. This AIM log is the personification of the battle of style vs. substance. Judging by people's criticisims of the site, though, people would rather have style instead of substance. Conversation. He's definitely not a real fucking bard. Not even close.

- Monday, August 07, 2000 06:11

Speaking of the POWAPUFFT GRRLZ, I made a new Half-Life color logo, of the Powerpuff Girls. Horay for them. Here. Remember to rename it to "pldecal." Update: just made an alternate version for those people (i.e. ME) who want to just have the ClansRGay tag everywhere they fucking can, here.

- Sunday, August 06, 2000 22:37

My brother saw a commercial for the upcoming Powerpuff Girls marathon on Cartoon Network, and he pointed out to me that they specifically mention the number of minutes of PPG that will be airing. 420 minutes. It's like they're TELLING you to smoke pot and watch Powerpuff Girls. And I bet a lot of people will.

- Sunday, August 06, 2000 06:58

In one of those logs, I use the psudo-word "homofagfucking" a whole bunch. I was just stuck on it. I also used "hurf" or "hurfingly hurfahurf" or whatever in those logs a lot too. Basically anything "quirky" I said those days on AIM, I said A LOT in those logs with my brother (that are filed away in the July section of old news). It's crazy!

- Sunday, August 06, 2000 05:42

By the way, those Sammy Hagar song parodies are dedicated to Qenny, a friend who recently passed away. I know that, if he can read this from heaven (where everyone has a OC-128 line or some such), he would certainly appreciate songs about tornados, Pepsi, AIDS, and wife beating would be dedicated to him. I'll probably post some old AIM logs of Jsoh and I talking to him. Not that they would be specifically flattering. By the way, I'm going to stuff all the July news into the old news. There's a lot of good stuff there!

- Sunday, August 06, 2000 05:35

A post I made on the CSNation comment boards. Just thought it was worth keeping. Especially since I had to type it all out myself, and then format it, even with the added bold and italics. (Remind me to command Megan to download this song, AT ALL COSTS.) Comment #6 Nepchewn Posted at 2:39 PDT on August 6 Registered (67 Posts) I left alone My mind was blank I needed time CHU think to get the memories from my mind What did I see? CAN I BELIEVE That what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy? Just what I saw In my own dreams Were they reflections of my warped mind staring back at me? Cos in my dreams It's always there The evil face that twists my mind and brings me to dispair -screamingly screaming that is fucking awesome as hell- Night was black Was no use holding back Cos I just had to see Was someone watching me? In the mist Dark figures move and twist Was all this for real Or just some kind of hell? SIX SIX SIX THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST HELL AND FIYA WAS SPAWNED CHU BE RELEASED Torches blazed And sacred chants were praised As they start to cry Hands held CHU the sky In the night The fires are burning bright The riCHUal has begun Satan's work is done SIX SIX SIX THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST SACRIFICE IS GOING ON TONIGHT WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -solo so fast that it kills God- This can't go on I must inform the law (??????????????????) Can this still be real Or just some CRAZI ^_^ dream But I feel drawn CHUwards the chanting hoards Seem to mesmerize, can't avoid their eyes SIX SIX SIX THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST SIX SIX SIX THE ONE FOR YOU AND MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! If this doesn't inspire you to kill your parents, yourself and God (note the stupid Xenogears reference) then I DUNNO WHAT WILL!

- This page was last updated on Saturday, August 05, 2000 14:15.

Yea, our comp is all fucked up. We lost our bookmarks again. But as long as we have each other, we're indestructable. Anyway, as for those Sammy Parodies: AIDS Walks In Cocaine Wabo Reams Why Can't This Be Tornadoes Wife Beating Two Fists of Love Lay Your Hand On Me I know I don't update that often, and that when I do, it's usually something either really short or too long. My best work usually goes into newgroup posts, and those have run dry now. I haven't even updated my Lewis Black site in forever. But you know what makes it all worthwhile? O I REALLY WANNA KNOW -massive drum fill- Um, that and Diablo 2. But it's still hard. There's no more weed, but we just went shopping so we have a lot of snacks now. FUCKITY FUCK. We have no more weed anymore. Just yesterday, we had weed. Now we don't. It's sad to see our old trusty 8.4 gig HD lying in a pile of static filled dust, by our albums. We bought that HD a year ago so we could install Half Life and still have all our stuff. Now we can't even play Half Life. Jhoh says we need more RAM, and I hope that's it. Playing anything related to the HL engine causes massive drops in the framerate, for no reason at all. I supposed that a 20 gig HD and Win98 are indeed a real drain on 64 mb of RAM. But what if we get more RAM and nothing happens? Shit, I won't even be able to afford RAM unless I get a job. It's all Hell. I wish I had weed. Weed makes it all seem so simple and easy. When I'm sober, everything mom says irritates me. When I'm high, it's not a problem. Nothing's a problem when I'm stoned. But I guess I should lay off the weed for a little while. My tolerance is so fucking high right now. I hope my family doesn't read this site. I know I've been rambling for so long but there's one more thing I think I should mention. No one in my family knows I smoke. Mom thinks I smoke cigars with my brother now. Everyone thinks Jhoh's the depraved drug fiend. In reality, I buy and I smoke the majority of the potular pot products. And no one in my family knows. I'd rather it stays that way, but I think my sister reads this site. O well.

- Friday, August 04, 2000 06:08

Just a little snap of me getting ready to make a new post on our message board.

- Friday, August 04, 2000 02:43

Finally back. Our computer was in the shop for a couple days as they installed a new 20 gig hard drive. Our old hard drive is still here (so we could copy all of our personal shit), so the whole "my computer" area looks like a big fucking mess with the partitions all going up to K, and then the CD-ROM going to L and then the Zip drive going up to M. DRIVE M. I never thought I'd see it on my computer. But anyway, we got our awesome shit copied onto the new drive, and we should be taking the old drive out soon, and maybe we can reformat it and install our new copy of Windows 98 onto it. Then we just put it in the old case in the garage, which has the motherboard + 200 MMX processor and old CD-ROM. The catch for now is that our cable service isn't working. FUCK. And we called tech support, we don't know if it's our problem (which is what I suspect) or they're having network trouble. We were able to ping a couple IP addresses, but then not others. Odd! Anyway, since the only internet access I have is our old limited dialup account, I've been reading through a few old AIM logs so I could update the site with them, for fun! Of course, the AIM logs are of me and my brother, from a while back. THOSE ARE OUR BEST! Neptuneretardsslaphead.htm We go on a nutty and SHARE OUR FEELINGS. ^_^ The "retard card" picture in question is this: CablebrosKILLGOD.htm Indeed we did! NeptuneSaaldlootsoftakelLOLOL.htm This one has some pretty extreme rambling. Neptunethefuckinghaxedit.htm This is more bizarrity of CHOOXIAN preportions. Jsoh decided to CHEW the KLEEK and WABOOV. I mean, Jsoh was playing some wavs from random Half-Life mod pak files (Jailbreak, Cold Ice, Action Half-Life and such). So he would play those out loud and then we would comment on them in this log. These logs are really just to fill in for the content I didn't/cant update with while I was/will be away. Oh yeah, and apparently one of us pasted a serial into this log, so I made a copy of the log and cut that out. Just so you know! I don't even know what the code was for, but I'm not going to take chances on it being one of our games. I also wanted to update with a picture of an AIM log of me trolling some loser FFAG I used to be friends with. I troll him under my "secret identity" name, which was really more of a project. The Andrew Goebel project. After I was done with the project, I used Mr. Andrew Goebel for EVIL, such as in this picture/log. I was thinking that maybe I would look foolish in this log, in retrospect, but reading it now I realize that Wyvern is just really fucking sad. JAPANABE NAMED AFTER A FUCKING DRAGON, MR. WINGLOCK FLIGHTHEART. Anyway. I'm thinking that later I could add to this site the entire story of Andrew Goebel and my infiltration to the newsgroup of my past. Like a special ClansRGay feature: The Andrew Goebel Project! Or some such. Remind me to remind Jsoh to update--BY HIMSELF--with those Shammy Hagar song parodies we wrote up a while ago. They should be on the site!

- Saturday, July 29, 2000 22:31

Updated the Creexul PAGE with some stuff. The stuff that I didn't add yet. BLAH.

- Saturday, July 29, 2000 18:13

My mom says she's going to start calling me "Wolverine" from now on, because she just saw the X-Men movie. I am indeed starting to facially resemble the Canadian SUPER DUPER MUTANT, with a hair style that resembles middle-aged 60s English rock carbon units (right now my hair is Paul McCartney-ey, and in another month I'll be growing back my "Lifehouse hair" of Pete Townsend fame). Gnutella sucks, Gnutilla is spam. Napster is gone. Scour Exchange!

- Saturday, July 29, 2000 05:29

Just changed my mind on the fixing the movie thing. I'm pretty sure I got it FIXITY FIXED completely now. That loading screen, at least. If it says "loading" and then eventually a "go" button, that means it worked. I should've added a thing that says it's 500K just so people can know how large the movie is. Fuck it, I'll do that now. New AIM log for today. LOL 2.5 OZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Saturday, July 29, 2000 05:01

Something is still wrong with that damn loading screen on that movie. I'll try to fix it tomorrow. I'll admit it, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.

- Saturday, July 29, 2000 00:29

It happened, the Powerpuff Girls has reached that moment when it is embraced by the agonizing trendiness of hipsters. LEAVE OUR TELEVISION SHOWS ALONE, HIPSTERS. GO BACK TO SOUTH PARK. You may notice that the little links to the side which lead to some gay new anime show like "Adventuring Super Smashing Female Carbon Units" or some such. In the future, I predict a Japanese ripoff of PPG. Powerpuff Girls makes all anime completely obsolete, though. There's no point in ever watching anime again when you have something that's infinitely better than it, and making fun of it. Oh well. We still have Rocko's Modern Life.

- Friday, July 28, 2000 14:09

A couple days ago, my cc2112 comic was posted on CSNation to general confusion. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

- Thursday, July 27, 2000 17:11

Today's AIM log! GidtherainbowofHATINGFFAGS.htm "FFAGs" is just what we call people from AGFF, a newsgroup. So do not worry about it!

- Thursday, July 27, 2000 17:08

I just realized all too late that I didn't properly test the loading screen. Isn't that always the way? Anyway, I updated a "more tested" version now. Still no clue if it'll ever work right anymore.

- Wednesday, July 26, 2000 13:47

cc2112.html Another one of those Counter-Strike/Counter-Crap related flash things. I put a ton more work into this one. Like five hours or something! It's really flashy and shit, yet LOW QUALITY. Tired. I need food and drink.

- Wednesday, July 26, 2000 11:11

NeptuneSaladandviolinyviolins.htm An old AIM log from back when Jsoh and I were finally moving our stuff from our mom's laptop. I forgot how, but we screwed up our computer, probably trying to replace the hard drive or the modem just not working. So I got on the laptop to move our mails and files off, and Jsoh got on our computer to get it. We spent a while chatting to each other, EVEN THOUGH WE WERE IN THE OTHER ROOM. A few times in this log we'd play a bunch of CDs, and then either comment out loud or through the chat. So really, this file is just one big mess of thoughts and CHOOX. Here's another one that I just remembered that I moved into the recently created "aim" folder for which to store all my AIM logs of people. There's another one in that folder, FUCK creating an index page for it.

- Sunday, July 23, 2000 14:28

The Adventures of Rze, the guy who single-handedly runs the entire CSNation web site. OR SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was just bored, so I put this together. And of course sent it off to SecurityGuard at CSNation, just so I might be able to see it there. The REAL only reason I made this was so I could use that sound effect. Those akimbo guns sure are going to ruin CS!

- Sunday, July 23, 2000 07:51

This web site is my own personal "Waiting for Godot."

- Sunday, July 23, 2000 06:53

You can tell I'm educated, I studied at the Sorbonne Doctored in mathematics, I could have been a don I can program a computer, choose the perfect time If you've got the inclination, I have got the crime

- Sunday, July 23, 2000 05:34

You know! A couple years ago I was getting started with this whole inter-web thingy, there was me, with my friends and we were all happi and fun and I talked to them every day and gave them all of my attention. All of them were different in ways, except they shared one trait: they hated my brother, or thought he was "annoying." I went with them and laughed about it, HA HA YEA MAN LOL:), and shit like that. Sometimes I would get mad at Jsoh because he was, as my friends said, RUINING MY GOOD NAME ON THE INTERNET. My mistake was caring. It took me all too long to realize that my friends were really fucking losers, and hated my brother because he told the truth. There was no filtering what Jsoh said, and the only way they could deny it was to say he was "being annoying." Jsoh didn't care what anyone thought, he just said what was on his mind, because that's what was important. Jsoh was no-bullshit, so naturally people, especially these internet types who don't bother thinking, would get upset and start crying and all this other horseshit. I feel bad for him now, because back then life must've been hell. Sent off to a retard school--just being around those people in general every day is bad enough--and then coming home from that hell (of people walking down the hall with big fat swollen heads and karate helmets because they're crack babies from Detroit and were born with little to no brain--sort of like their parents), to have me make fun of him with my faggoty internet friends because he DID EVIL THINGS TO RUIN MY GOOD NAME. And after that getting a helly shit-hole screamed-at-every-day-behind-a-400-degree-stove job to come home to more ignorance and minds slamming shut. I didn't think back then. It was probably the school's fault--just wasting my time trying to learn math I'd never need to know when instead I should've been focusing more on what was important to my future with humanity. School. What a fucking waste of time that was. We never did homework (another waste of time), so they figured we were retarded and shipped us off to special ed. Jsoh couldn't do special ed in high school so mom put him in the retard school, where he went to be the best student who ever went there. I ended up in a couple "special ed special programs" or some shit, including one that was a seven hour shop class with an Atari on the black and white computer in the corner, and a few retarded mongoloid kids in the class--one of them being this Chinese kid who would have spastic outbreaks occasionally and huge teeth that ripped through his face (both things scared the shit out of me on a daily basis--he seemed like the kind of retard that wanted to kill someone and didn't keep it hidden very well) and some black kid who spoke like a robot. I quit going after the Chinese kid started screaming and throwing chairs around near the end of one day, and attacked the black kid. I think they eventually sedated him, and hopefully had him destroyed immediately. It had to be worse for Jsoh, because there was a couple hundred retards, even more extreme in nature and RETARDATION, at his school. All of them having parents who could not humanly possibly be more proud to have a retarded offspring, and talk about how the school is "so nice." Parents in denial about them spitting out a retarded brat because of their herion addiction suddenly seeing beauty in some kid who's lips are split from huge jagged teeth jutting outwards from their gums. It almost doesn't make sense to me, but then I realize that people usually go out of their way to not understand things, proven by my internet friends all hating my brother. I'm happier to say now that Jsoh and I are more in harmony these days. We never used to talk to each other, and basically would have nothing to do with each other, and then I decided that I hate him, and then I realized that he's smarter and more truthful than all the people I liked anyway. Of course, it isn't easy to stay friends with a 18 year old infant of a girl who seriously thinks that girls can be just as "pervy" [her words] as guys. Especially after you merely say the word "masturbation" in front of her and she almost throws up from disgust. Fucking fat doughy pasty pink Japanabe of a fucking MORON. GODDAMN IT WHAT A MORON. Retards and people like her should just be elminated from the planet, because you know natural selection would take them out as opposed to the artificial selection we have running in this country. It would only be fair if she was raped one day. In the ass. ANYWAY. Most of what comes from me here is inspired by my brother. My brother would write where other people would rest, he would work where other people would slack. My brother is the opposite of your average internet fuckhead. He doesn't mesh with the internet mindset of the mentally stale and static. His school was more difficult than the one any of us went to. We are all light-core wussies compared to the almighty Jsoh. But I still hate Jsoh, because he ruined my good name over the internet. :( HE RUINED MY GOOD NAME, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK DAT NOIZE LOL:) WASSUP

- Saturday, July 22, 2000 06:06

http://www.planethalflife.com/davej/colour_spray.htm Stole it from CSNation. But this isn't a real news site anyway, so I can put anything here, as you should know by now. Anyway. This is interesting. An article on how to make color spraypaint decals for Half-Life. IN COLOR!!!!!!!! LATER - I quickly put together a couple nice logos. All you have to do is backup your pldecal.wad file (I just made a "backupwad" folder and put it in there) and replace it with this. That's the picture one. This one has just the URL to this site on it. I know I'LL use that. After I'm done using the first one, that is. The second one with the URL you'll have to rename, of course.

- Saturday, July 22, 2000 01:14

The only rule in an argument is that in order to actually argue back, you must NOT take the other person's argument and reverse it/repeat it, especially if you didn't think of it first (duh). You think this wouldn't have to be said. BUT IT DOES. Just thought you should know. ^_^

- Thursday, July 20, 2000 02:07

counterchoox.html Just made this tonight so I could send it to SecurityGuard at CSNation. Other people were doing it, so I figured that that's a good enough reason for me to do it also!

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 21:27

If you're confused by all the usage of HAPPI and FUNNI on this site and are wondering "wudup wit dat????????????????": I copied (DERIVED) it from someone who actually does that, apparently thinking it's clever. But they do it seriously. I do it because it's so fucking stupid that I think we should not forget it, just so we can know whatoi aoighba;obir h;aha;oh b. I mean, I do it to make fun of them and people who think that it's cool (and trust me, some people really do think that). That means that when they do it, it's stupid, and when I do it, it's brilliant! http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/crunchieshappihentai Just look at it. This is the person's Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!1111 porn club. She's like 20 something and has a huge collection of hentai (anime porn) on her computer and talks about how she thinks reality doesn't exist (apparently believing that we all live in a big computer MATRIX or something). And she is an extreme Japanabe. Just like so many other trendy teenage morons out there. It's a perfect example of the absolute pond scum of humans. Human beings are a disease. AND WE ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING CURE.

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:59

I recommend that you go down to the first update from today before reading any of this later stuff. Just keep scrolling down to the first entry about Quadrophenia. It's a long way down. Just keep going. Seriously. DO IT.

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:54

chatRapefest2000wegetallittleworkeduphere.htm SPAZZMODICALITIES RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-RAH -ripping fast as fuck guitar solo that is faster than a motherfucking FUCK- hell.com is not art. ALLEGEDLY.

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:52

YOU'VE GOT TO RUN CHU WIN! ^_^

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:50

MagpiDERRYNIGGAZWUDUPWITDAT.htm :;scraed::

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:49

HERE I GO-WAH HERE I GO INTO THIS THIN-GAH

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:21

Rock is dead because people don't want rock. Rock is hard guitars crunching away at some song about reality. People do not want that. People want songs about happi flying love with weak simplistic synthesizers and quiet electric guitars with no tone and no soul. People don't want Van Halen, they want Sammy Hagar. They don't want "master of puppets is pulling your strings-SAH," they want "hey hey hey-yah here I go-wah." People don't want AC/DC with songs about THE BIGGEST BALLS OF THEM ALL, they want Korn with songs about whining about basically everything that's ever happened to the lead singer. Generation DUH.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:14.

Anyway, checking on OMM's site earlier today, I saw a new update to the new page entitled "Game Over." So I sent a mail to erik... or chet. And they actually replied. With something that wasn't mean even! On 19 Jul 2000, at 10:08, Jsoh Cable wrote: > 1, a little note I made to myself about the Psycho Circus game to perhaps help > along your synopsis on the game's playability and worth to gamers: > > Kiss sucks. I'll tell you what, though, the soundtrack in the KISS game sucks even more. One time, the game played an actual KISS song for thirty seconds or so, and the game really perked up. I never thought I'd be saying this, but what this game needs is more KISS. > > 2, Ted Nugent claimed to retire about 5 years ago, and came back from retirement > 4 years ago. I personally do not see any ending to the Jhoh Romero bashing. IT > IS YOUR NATURE, YOU CANNOT DENY IT. I'm denying it. But it is hard letting go. I really did absentmindedly doodle Jhoh romero's name in a heart bubble. It was the lowest point of my life so far, though I'm sure it's bound to get worse. > > 3, note the screenshot for the Let Someone Else Entertain You Today news > paragraph. That arm holding the gun looks like the arm of Gordon Freeman's > hazard suit (the under side, the part we don't really ever see in HL without a > model veiwing program). BUT ISN'T THAT A SCREENIE FROM THE NEW KISS GAME? > Fucking Kiss fags. No that's actually from Red Faction. But they're all the same damn game anyway. > > Oh, and 4, UGO likes anime, so UGO can kiss my ass. I don't care if they host > the world's greatest gaming site, combined with the world's greatest gay-lovers > site. ANIME = DUMB. You're preaching to the converted here. I so totally don't get the allure of anime. It all seems incredibly boring, which is really amazing what with all the violence and flashing lights and whatnot. erik Fucking OMM is fucking GOD. My new hero is erik. HOPE HE DOESN'T MIND ME TAKING HIS O SO COPYRIGHTED TEXT EMAIL AND PLASTERING IT ON MY FUCKING GAY SITE.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:11. My follow up follow up

Someone said lately that Keith Mewn was "overrated." I dunno who, but apparently they did. First off, they're dumb. Secondly, listen to Dr Jimmy. JUTS FUCKING LSTTNEM YOU MOTHERFRUCKES. The drum fills throughout the fucking song are just pure genius. PURE. FUCKING. GENIUS. It doesn't get any better than that. And yes, Real Me is perhaps on of the best songs on the planet. A bass player's wet dream. Horns or no horns, this album is so much better than fucking Sell Out A Quick One that I could PUKE. But I'd rather get stoned, put on headphones, turn off all the lights, and listen to Quad (or maybe Who Happens To Be Next).

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:08 - my follow up to myself

[originally sent to http://www.geocities.com/markprindle/whoa.html] My brother purchased the album, and I figured it would actually just be an album I'd hear a couple songs off of, and leave it to my brother to relish it or at least give it all the listens. I figured you'd be a tad true and the album wouldn't be that good, and cheesy just like one of the worst albums ever made by a band ever, A Quick One. Bland sounding music with only one or two catchy songs, all in a double album. That was my expectation. After hearing just about every song on Quadrophenia, though, I have to say this is one of my favorite albums, ever. The best Who songs I've heard off of Kids are Alright or Who's Next (the version of Who's Next that has "Water" even!). Doctor Jimmy, Helpless Dancer, Love Reign O'er Me, The Real Me, Punk and the Godfather, 5:15, I've Had Enough, Is It in My Head?, even I Am the Sea. I love all of them. And I love the other songs on Quad I didn't mention. The lyrics are spectacular, and the horns and violins are certainly not nearly as bad as a certain shitty worst-ever live album by a certain sellout band I could mention. I really think that the extra instruments on Quadrophenia really help the music a LOT. And the bass and drums are a lot louder and the playing is better on this album than the other albums. This album is not only better than the early Who albums, it's a hundred times better than Korn, Limp Bizkit, Blink 182, Smashing Pumpkins, Oasis, Mudhoneyshovel/Dope/Staind/Lit/Kittie/Creed/whatever else (since they're basically all the same band) and just about anything else on MTV. And especially a hundred times better than Metallica's S&M. In fact, A Quick One and Sell Out are better than S&M. THAT'S JUST HOW FUCKING BAD S&M IS. When are you going to change your review of S&M from a 9 to a negative 9 or something? S&M should get a negative twenty out of ten, in fact. Hurry up, Perndil, update your site, and change that review. In fact, give everything Load and beyond a negative score, and change all the written reviews to just the word "Sellouts." Okay, I'm calming down now. I'm going to take deep breaths, and get myself something to eat. FUCK MOTHERFUCKING SHITTY SELLOUT METALLICA!!!!!!!!!!!!

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, July 19, 2000 17:01. My follow up review of Qwad, post-perchase

[originally sent to http://www.geocities.com/markprindle/whoa.html] Finally got it. Preliminary review: It's good. It's already better than Sell Out and A Fucking Gay Quick One Filled With Bullshit Songs About Happi Happi Love. These songs are all cool, and unlike Tommy, it's not like an opera. The recurring themes in the music are a lot more sparse than Tommy, ala Tommy's See Me Feel Me in every song, or Sparks over and over again. And unlike Who's Next (awesome album), they're not using the Won't Get Fooled Again riff over and over for every fast/loud song. The story is of course better. Fuck Lifehouse, this is the album that speaks to us all. Movie was trash and unnecessary, but this album is good. And that's good. However, the Who members don't actually make up the character's personality. Why? Because Jhoh's theme isn't even a song, just 4 lines. Keith's theme doesn't make any sense, unless Pete is trying to say that Keith is a lazy and stupid sheep/wage slave that likes to sleep on the beach every now and again, and has a really dopey sounding voice. Roger's theme doesn't even seem to be talking about anyone. What the hell? And then Pete's song is the grandiose epic, Love Rain Over Myself. Of course, he doesn't sing it, because he's too busy being a homosexual ass fag or WHATEVER. Pete may have written everything, but as evidenced by his VH1 Storytellers apperence, he's nothing without the other three. He said it himself, before Won't Get Fooled, he always believed that the song had more meaning and was more honest or whatever when he sang with, when the other Whosters didn't add their personality to the song. Then he sang it, and it just sucked ass. He's not a bad singer, but Roger has him and the rest of the world beaten flat. And an acoostic guitar always sounds dumb, unless he gets it to sound like it does in Pinball Wizard. Then it's fun. Um. By the way, this has to be the best album cover ever. Just a kid on a motor scooter, and the band member's faces in the mirrors. But like this album, it's not flashy and has nothing to do with a pinball playing messiah that killed his parents and then killed God. But the kid and the bike are still larger than life. Like a giant meshed machine. Very cool. A lot better than Boston's stupid domed flying city. Boston never had any real good songs. But the Who did.

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 16:49 - MY READER REVIEW OF QUADROPHENIA

[originally sent to http://www.geocities.com/markprindle/whoa.html] You say that the music on this album is overblown and such. Okay. I was thinking that maybe, even though too many (almost half!) of the songs on A Quick One and Sell Out are agonizing pop echo blandness with no plugged-in guitar or drumming, maybe Quadrophenia would just disappoint me also, by being too dramatic and overdone and such. But then you give Metallica's S&M a 9? A metal band that once wrote, at the very least, songs that were SERIOUS that decided to go in the direction that involves using joke titles for their albums ("S&M" means "Symphony and Metallica" and it also means "sadomasochism" wow how extremely clever and witty, just like the idea of putting some violins making some noise and single repeated notes over and over in the background and suddenly turning old Metallica songs into High Art!--and to drive the joke home, the ampersand resembles a treble clef, ah hahaha, hahaha, haha, ha) and writing slow soft ballads about their moms? Which, BY SHEER COINCIDENCE apparently, started selling more records than Metallica ever did before and opened the band up to a new fan base of alternative rockers. A band that teamed up with the guy who not only broke up Pink Floyd, but has an orchestra with electric guitars he calls a "Rock and Roll Ensemble"? Sounds like a Kiss side project, i.e. not even real music. Michael Kamen is probably a wife beater anyway. Or something. Maybe it was Gilmore who was the wife beater. Now, I liked Load (as people who know me would remember me for saying "I loved Load, myself"). I thought it was a good album, with good music, different or not, yet it was odd how much they pushed the limits of how different they suddenly had to be, as if it wasn't good enough to just have the music different. Then Reload, ah haha, a clever sort of word play, because they're so different now, and even more creative. If they name their next album "'Lic' It Up" I'm going to declare unholy war on Metallica and anyone who even remotely likes them. I'm going to eat raw plutonium and spew it into the face of any Metallica fan. And any Kiss fan too, since they'd naturally have it coming. In fact, I should just do that right now, with the Kiss fans. Fuck Kiss, "rock and roll ensembles," the "Red Rocker," Styx, Buckethead, Pepsi, and Michael Kamen. Oops, wrong page. I'm supposed to be talking about The Who. Actually, I've never even heard Quadrophenia, and I have yet to own it. And even if I do, I won't write a review here of it; I'll leave that to my brother, Jsoh Cable. So I might as well get all of this out of the way right here in one mail. Hell, if I'm getting all this out, I may as well add in the comments about the trend of having modern conductors and orchestrations suddenly add some Latin chanting to their work to make it "brilliant" and "artistic" and "beautiful." Along with the other disgusting trend of white bread white ass FUCKING PINK fucking American honkies acting like they're Japanese, and referring to themselves as Japanese names, and even using bastardized Japanese expletives and greetings in conversation. People who won't even talk about porn if it's not Japanese porn. These people need to be MOTHERFUCKING EXTERMINATED. But this isn't the right place to even mention that kind of stuff. So never mind!

- Wednesday, July 19, 2000 01:58

Devin Townsend killed God.

- Monday, July 17, 2000 04:44

You know, I could spend all my time on this site explaining why Creexul is mysterious and beautiful and CHOOXIAN and it's too glorious for most humans to comprehend. But I won't. Because Creexul is really just a word I made up.

- Monday, July 17, 2000 02:54

Okay, updated. Pages 40 to 56. A ton of pictures. Huge variety. Many games. I'm tired. Eugh. I need to have my guy check it and make sure there are no broken links or pictures. TOMORROW.

- Monday, July 17, 2000 00:24

As soon as I finished that last gallery update, I went deep into our personal archives of Half-Life pictures we had stored away (all the gallery pictures I put onto this site I keep in a completely seperate folder). I found there a fucking assload of pictures I meant to put on the gallery a while ago but never did before they got filed away and forgotten about. A lot of them are good too. At least compared to other pictures. Along with that old batch, I also went into our Half-Life game folder to see what new pictures were there, and found a ton more pictures--OF TEXT. And other stuff, actually, but some really good stuff that Jsoh has to contribute. Along with that is a little surprise I mentioned from a while back in the old news, and the one single "preview pic" of the Creexul map I was working on, in its first incarnation, which unfortunately doesn't really show anything but an empty green-carpeted dark hallway. Oh well. But still, the next gallery update is going to take a lot of work to get done. All for just another hundred pictures more of text.

- Sunday, July 16, 2000 03:37

You know, it's not that Jsoh or I really hate Jhoh Woo or think that The Killer is that bad. I remember watching it and I liked it--it was certainly better than boring. But his BEST EVER TOTALLY AWESOME DUDE movie? No. Not even remotely. The real problem is that it's just so fucking incredibly overrated that when you see it and it's really not really THE LIKE TOTALLY COOLEST THING EVER MAN as someone said, you just think that it sucks. It's natural, because the real fault is at the people who originally said that such things would be so awesome, when they really aren't. Why do people say those things? Probably out of pride. Pride that they saw it before it was cool or not knowing anyone else who's seen a good foriegn sylistic movie that they have, so they act like it's just so awesome. Not really that the movie is awesome, but that they are so awesome for having seen it. I used to do that. WHEN I WAS 10. I grew out of it in third grade, END OF MOTHERFUCKING STORY. The same goes for anime. Some of it isn't really that bad (then again, some is--in fact there's quite a lot of it that's worse than bad). But it's really all the grown up children who laud it as the best thing ever because they feel so special that they've discovered it before anyone they know has. So the hatred coming from Jsoh and I really isn't directed to anime, it's directed to the people who would find what we say insulting. Because they fucking need the slap in the face. So fucking sick of people just so full of bullshit that the only thing they love the most is something that makes them seem cultured and cool. The fact being that they're just in love with themselves and are ecstatic that they found a reason--flimsy, but a reason still.

- Sunday, July 16, 2000 03:00

Suicide. Those unfortunate souls who ponder it see it as the only way out, even though it's obvious that if suicide is your way out, you haven't really considered that a normal death is a way out in the same direction from different causes, therefore suicide can never actually be the ONLY way out. But what is suicide? Is it really a way out at all? Perhaps, for those people who actually end up offing themselves, obviously not considering that this life may be the only one you get, and that out of the remaining several decades left of life, they will not have a single moment of happiness. Lets face it, that's just plain fucking stupid. But what about those people who just didn't make it severe enough to actually end up dead? What the hell is that? Well, clearly it's just a fucking desperate grab for some whiny attention and to have flocks of friends and relatives gather around and give you free sympathy. And of course it wears off after a while so they have to put in another attempt, and after about five attempts people just get sick of you and throw you in a hospital or something. Not that someone's life wouldn't be so bad that killing themselves wouldn't bring immediate release. But really, when you commit suicide and FAIL, you're really just saying "LOOK AT ME I'M IMPORTANT FOR NOW." You may stay boring, but after a suicide attempt, you'll be a boring person who might've killed themselves! You'll probably get free ice cream for a while, too--which personally makes attempting suicide a little tempting, I sure could go for some nice tasty ice cream right now! ^_^ Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, I can almost taste it. WHERE IS MY FAKE SUICIDE ATTEMPT KIT? Harold didn't count, by the way. He wasn't trying to kill himself, he was trying to scare his mom.

- Saturday, July 15, 2000 19:36

Added pages 33 to 39 in the gallery. Pictures ranging from pre-3D accelerated Counter-Strike to Diablo 2 from last week. GO READ IT A KATILLION TIMES

- Saturday, July 15, 2000 19:35 (Or something--actually earlier in the day than this)

If I could get paid to sleep 16 hours a day, everything would be perfect. If you haven't read Creexul by now, go read it anyway! And then tell all your friends about it, and make them tell their friends (i.e. people you hate) about it.

- Friday, July 14, 2000 17:20

Every time I get pulled into one of those programs so I can learn how to be a "skilled commodity in the job market" or some shit, I just keep thinking that I'd just rather learn how to be a human being instead.

- This page was last updated on Thursday, July 13, 2000 09:25.

A sentement that Jhoh pretty much invented... probably before anyone on this Earth, is that Jhoh Woo isn't God. Of course, that pretty much means that the sentement is true. Jhoh Woo isn't God. His old Chinese movies were terribly overrated and cheesy. His American movies had a brain, and were a lot more glossy. Movies like The Killer were mostly really lame looking, like some kind of Indie action movie from another country. How is it possible to actually shoot across someone's eyes without blowing their brains out? Do you know the chances of that? It's less than 0%. MI2 is the first movie by him in America that really happens to look gay. Especially with Tom Criuse's hair flopping around for each rediculous stunt. It looks like shit. The movie looks fucking terrible. But that's not the point. In truth, even his old Chinese movies, while more overrated than anything that has ever been rated (along side anime, that is), still are STUPID. The action scenes in about 95% of The Killer looked dumb. No one realizes this. They all go on to blow the fucking movies anyway. They are dumb. I aspire not to be those people. The Replacement Killers was dumb, and was released before Face Off and the others, but no one counts it, and I don't blame them. I personally liked Face Off a whole lot. I'm rather proud of the widescreen tape I have of it. The widescreen factor, not the tape factor. Maybe I'll sell the tape for a DVD version or something. It's incredibly trendy to like something so alien from the US, even if that something happens to be really stupid. Which is too bad, because that leaves less room for what good comes from those countries. LIKE OUR CLOTHES AND PLASTIC TOYS AND SUCH MANUFACTORING PLANTS. Anywya... By the way, how ironic that the Foo Fighters version of Have a Cigar (Brian May on guitar) shares the soundtrack for such music legends as LIMP BISCUIT and Fucktallica. Limp Biscit and their version of the Mi2 theme, about how we wanna hate him now (Phread Dirst, of course). We all wanna hate him now, because hate zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111one No friends, rock is not "back" because rock never left. It's just not in the mainstream today. Still. Limp Bizkit is not rock or metal. They are Vanilla Ice with lame ass riffs instead of someone else's. EXTREMELY lame ass, monotone riffs, with about a billion little sound effects and samples, and a ton of echo in each and every song. At least Korn realized that their fans don't need a new chorus about 6 months ago. Korn hasn't had a real new song in about that long. It's just the same candy-assed sounding rant/singing with quiet guitar for the verses, and loud guitar for the chorus, AND NO FUCKING SOLO OF ANY KIND. Endless monotone riffing, reguardless of the song, on every chorus. And I found out that their quiet guitar sound has a name now, "science fiction." I don't fucking think so. What are these, ice cream flavors or guitar sounds? Fuck whig hop bands of any and all types. Technically, Korn hasn't had a real song EVER. Kinda like Kiss. Because technically, Kiss never had any songs, considering that a team of LA studio people wrote all their crap. Jhoh Woo isn't that great. His movies were never that good. South Park stopped being genius since day one. Some people think Korn is "edgy and creative." Limp Durst thinks he's cool because he's started screwing the 15 year old whores who show up at his shows for the thrill of fucking someone rich. Good music is nowhere to be seen.

- Thursday, July 13, 2000 08:13

"Sebastian Junger's book could only speculate on the actions of Tyne and his men since, for reasons we can't explain, none of the crew would talk to him." - Richard Corliss, Time Magazine, on the movie The Perfect Storm

- Tuesday, July 11, 2000 06:49

But you know nowadays It's the old man, he's got all the money And a young man Oops, what an odd accidental typo. I meant to accidentally type CREEXUL. Yes, Creexul. Obviously, Creexul just isn't a big fucking deal. But let's pretend like it is. Because everybody stepped back when a young man walked by. I mean, because it is fun and very stimulating. ^_^ First, what is a fanfic? That's easy, it's some loser on the internet taking anything--a TV show, a video game, some anime series, a band, a movie, or just people they knew in a newsgroup or message board--and writing their own story about the characters and such. Usually the fanfics have characters doing and saying things they would never do, mainly due to the author's incompetence and the author's childish, uncreative fantasy. And always, these fanfics are total shit. As a friend of mine said, "fanfics are the ballsweat of the internet." So. What really is Creexul? Well, in its original, unprocessed form, it is the Ultimate Fanfic. There is no fanfic greater or more necessary than Creexul. After reading Creexul, reading any other fanfic is completely pointless. It has the ultimate fanfiction formula in its basest and most raw ingredients: overwrought plotlines about actual people the author knows and no one else would understand; overly simplistic dialog; drawn-out, idiotic plot exposition; stories following the author's fantasies about the people he chooses to make characters; moronic and sappy romance spawning, like mildew in a toilet, between either the author and the characters or two other characters the author would rather think could be romantically linked than actually consider the idea that both people are morons and probably will end up marrying someone they hate. And it has a bunch of other stuff too, but you know. However, Creexul has a different side that no other fanfic writer could even fathom. A dark, frightening side. Something that would slam shut the mind of your average fanfic writer and make them run screaming to the closest sterile entertainment they could find. There's a layer of mockery all throughout each chapter of Creexul. It sort of transforms the story, turns it into a creature with a big cock WAITING FOR YOUR TIGHT CUNT MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. And the creature (with the big evil cock of course ^_^) does not care what you think. Yet it is SOFT AND HUGGABLE. ^_^ Creexul is infused with confusing nonsense--truly the perfect fanfic, and yet the complete opposite. And it's all ended in the best way possible: by me totally ruining everything and explaining every single detail behind the secrets of each DETAILED SECRET of each chapter of Creexul. Usually in too much detail. Just like this setup here. Or anything I talk about. I created Creexul not for a project or because someone wanted me to. I made it because I was sick of fanfics. It almost seems that out of all the trends and quirks out there on this planet, the internet contains some of the most mind-numbingly idiotic. The Gap doesn't stand a chance against a story written by someone who can't write about them in college turning down sex from someone else in the same newsgroup as them because they were under the influence. McDonalds doesn't really compare to someone who writes a story about them saving the Backstreet Boys from a plane crash. The carpool lane seems downright hardcore when compared to the 10th generation derivative fanfic of some faceless unfunny anime series written by someone copying off of someone copying off of someone copying off of someone copying off of someone trying to pretend to be a well known writer. (However, Korn, in comparison, still is fucking totally worthless.) Creexul is my ultimate weapon in the war against the internet. I'm not saying I hate the internet--if I could, I'd literally spend every moment of my waking life on it, preferrably on a high speed connection that my mommy paid for or some such garbage while I whine about the ice cream I'm eating over the keyboard not being cold enough. Really, I do like the internet. I just hate PEOPLE. Oh yeah. Creexul. One last thing: don't confuse Creexul the fanfic (it's own directory) with Creexul the page. The Creexul page is where I put all the misc shit. Perhaps I should change that to the "CHOOXIAN CHOOXACHOOX" page or something. NAH.

- Tuesday, July 11, 2000 05:36

I'll move myself and my family aside If we happen to be left half-alive I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky For I know that the hypnotized never lie Do ya?

- Sunday, July 09, 2000 20:23

Coming soon: the official ClansRGay premiere of Creexul. What is The Creexul? Unfortunately, no one can be told what The Creexul is. You have to see it for yourself. You also have to glorify anything that even remotely resembles anime. YER DUM

- Sunday, July 09, 2000 10:03

Looks like my main game for now is going to be Diablo 2. However, I've betrayed the legacy of this web site, and have not put any tag in my name. I won't, either. It doesn't really matter. This web site is really just a place I have to spout off almost every single day about 0.01% of the random things going through my brain within a 24 hour time period.

- Saturday, July 08, 2000 05:09

Okay, added gallery pages 26 through 32. Lots and lots and lots of pictures, from very new to very old, from several games. I also updated the old news full and June pages.

- Saturday, July 08, 2000 02:52

Got Diablo 2, playing it with people. Not on Battle.net though. I wanted to take a screenshot of something from Diablo 2 so I could paste it up here, but I forgot every single time I started playing. I should remember to update the gallery with the couple more POTs (pictures of text, ah haha, isn't that cute, my own little acronym), of my brother going on and on to himself about why BGH in Starcraft "ruins everything." And update the gallery with other stuff too. Here's another Diablo 2 related item. http://www.diablohappy.com/diablo2/GemGenie/. Nice! ALWAYS INTO THE EAST.

- Friday, July 07, 2000 04:39

One of the biggest trends of the unwashed smelly teenaged masses, when it comes to sharing what's on their mind (which is usually always the same thing--one thing "rox" and another thing "sux"), is stating their opinion as fact. Now granted it's known to happen a lot with people older than 20, even many many years older than that, mainly known as a subjective state of mind or just plain lack of mind all together, but WHY?????????????????????? What's the fucking point? When someone says that "Slipknot is the best band ever, no doubt about it," what's their point? Obviously Slipknot is a trendy whigger band for trendy whiggers who don't know what a guitar is. There is a logic behind their statements, however! You see, the more conviction you have when voicing your opinion, the more power it has and the more it can seem as if it might hold truth. So all these drooling mongoloid suburban whigger children come to the conclusion that if they state their opinions as fact, it will make it seem like they believe it so fervantly that it will make it actually appear to be a little more factual. Too bad it doesn't work. The only people who believe that crap is other dumbass whigger 13 year olds "wazzuping" about a hundred times a day.

- Thursday, July 06, 2000 03:57

Ranting is trendy. Fortunately for us, raving isn't yet.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, July 05, 2000 20:10.

I'm reading all these Devil Hunter Yohko sites, and I've never been exposed to such bullshit. EVERY single fucking review or page or whatever starts with the same bunch of lame paragraphs. Sadder still: "At first glance Yohko Mono seem like an ordinary teenager. She is sixteen years old, pretty, and extremely boy crazy. She lives in a nice neighborhood with her mother and grandmother." Two fucking huge lies in those few sentences. Anyone who has seen the movie knows that none of the above is true about the "character." And there is no such thing as boy crazy. It's really called "overly flirty/waiting to be gang raped someday." And we never really see her neighborhood, but if she lived in a shithole, we'd never really notice. The animation is choppy, like almost every anime on Earth. It's about 3 frames per second, which means that it can't even really be classified as animated. The story, which is hailed by japanabes are "like, sooooo awesome" is totally fucking braindead. Every joke is flat and unfunny, painfully so, and amost every line of dialauge hurts to read. This is nothing more than glorified pornography for stupid little children who can't appreciate real art, or even real porn. The plot is simply an ok idea made worse as a full story. Apparently the story is that a teenage girl and her grandma are extremely SILLY HAPPY for about 60 minutes, then the movie ends. There's also a lot of nudity and a little blood. All in all, it's the best movie ever made. Certainly better than The Great Escape. Oops, looks like this 60 minute piece of shit that's being passed off as "full length" really is just one of those violent cartoon tapes you'll never rent if you have any sense.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, July 05, 2000 16:34.

Yes, sad news for anyone who actually played through Counter Life and were hoping that they'd fix the bugs that would let you finish the game. (from their list of bugs in the FAQ) "8. You can't buy anything in Alien's World (eg:Xen, Gonarch's Lair), because you'll never find any First Aid Station and H.E.V Charger there, if your out of ammo, just use cheat. Type "impulse 101" without quotation marks in the console. don't know console? type "`" to bring down the console." They don't even fucking mention the fact that the jump pack doesn't work. Bad news mod makers, IF AT ANY POINT YOU NEED TO CHEAT TO FINISH THE GAME, THEN YOUR FUCKING MAP PACK OR MOD IS NOT DONE YET. Granted, the mod is still awesome, and the fact that 90% of the levels are playable is quite good. But when I got to Xen, I went from being excited to being IMMENSLY dissapointed. I just guess the standards for their mod weren't as high as say, Sven Coop... OR FUCKING COUNTER STRIKE.

- Tuesday, July 04, 2000 14:50

POWDAPUFFT GOILS

- Tuesday, July 04, 2000 00:18

Just thought this was funny. http://art.action-halflife.de/ Later: I went to www.action-halflife.de just to see if they had any comments about their whining-in-action comrade. This was the most recent news thing I could find mentioning them. "Action Art - A site designed with a community focus in mind. The site does not thrive without content from YOU, The Action fan! Our site is a chance to have your artwork displayed for everyone to see, in your own gallery, with your email displayed for people to send feedback. As you send in more work, your gallery will be updated. We also accept cool and weird screenshots as well, so those of you not so artistically inclined can have a chance to have your name in lights as well! If you want to go the whole nine yards, you can even write photoshop or paint shop pro tutorials for us, and we'll be more than happy to post them up. We thrive on submissions from the community." And then you go there, and it's gone, just replaced with some selfish crying unrelated to the actual content of the site. I saved the page too, in case they actually cut off that dead weight and replace him with someone who's competant.

- Monday, July 03, 2000 20:09

I replaced one of the intro quotes up there with a little Java quote program I remembered I had on the hard drive (unzipped, specifically) from a while back, after I decided today that I wanted some random quote generator up there, for a bit more variety. A VERY TINY BIT. By the way, note to self: when putting in the "\n" line breaker in an added quote for the quotes text file, REMEMBER WHICH ASSFUCKING WAY THE SLASH IS SUPPOSED TO GO. \ That way.

- This page was last updated on Sunday, July 02, 2000 12:24.

-endless drum fill- Ever forced to sit through a "family meeting?" Ever feel irony that the family includes you, mom, and a house filled with pets that shit everywhere and make a ton of noise? Every single thing that they both had to say was just shit that had no point, or that was irrelevent to reality. So the fuck what if Mazen punched a hole in the wall in his old room? Why is that kind of thing important to us getting an apartment? And why am I supposed to walk into this whole apartment buying thing scared shitless, pissing on myself, shaking like a leaf in the wind, just because Mazen could kick us out of the house if we don't have our name on the lease (we have about as much chance of that as any other person on Earth does, a 0.000001% chance)? Mom simply doesn't want us to have an apartment. She wants my $500 a month. It's just that simple. I can't win. Doctor Jimmy and Mr. Jim When I'm pilled, you don't notice him He only comes out when I drink my gin -endless awesome drum fill of fillingness-

- Sunday, July 02, 2000 12:21

I scribbled this down while pretending to "do the math!" during one of those stupid family interventions about "getting your goals in focus" and "figuruing out what you want to do with your life." And of course about how we are going to be begging for God to kill us because we'll just be so in debt from trying to pay the rent on a cheap apartment even with two other people helping to pay the bills. Meanwhile we got to hear our fascist man-hating aunt Meg talk about how she made $5,000 a month and was still broke because bills were just so much--DUH. This is supposed to make us realize that paying the bills is hard? It just makes me realize that I want nothing to do with my family. The only real math I did on the pad there was the "1 + 1 = CHU" underneath the representation of Kitty, who is getting his/her name legally changed to =^_^=, sort of like Prints.

- Sunday, July 02, 2000 04:12

We kill bugs and insects, because they're pests. We kill lions and tigers. Because it's fun! ^_^ Chickens and pigs. Because we're hungry. Phesants and quails. Because it's fun! ^_^ And we're hungry. And people! We kill people. Because they're pests. And it's fun! ^_^

- Saturday, July 01, 2000 11:08

My jacket's gonna be cut slim and checked Maybe a touch of seersucker with an open neck I ride a GS scooter with my hair cut neat I wear my wartime coat in the wind and sleet

- Friday, June 30, 2000 20:49

Game sites are still writing and posting reviews of Counter-Strike. How many fucking reviews do we need? Well, here's mine: Counter-Strike is good. Now all I need is an interview with Gooseman or CliffIEY.

- Thursday, June 29, 2000 04:52

New Half-Life patch, again. Much smaller this time, but it fixes all those important bugs in TFC. Horay.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, June 28, 2000.

I watched a few nanoseconds of the Monkee's VH1 movie. "Movies That Rock." I guess they're supposed to be making some kind of hilarious joke at the expense of their credibility. Anyway: If you ever needed more proof that women should not be allowed to purchase or even listen to or write music, Jimi Hendrix gets booed off the stage at a Monkees show. For some reason, he actually agreed to OPEN for the Monkees. Life is weird. And these little whores boo him off the stage so they can hear the Monkees more quickly. Hey, I wrote my own Monkees song. Wanna hear it here it goes... "I love you, yea yea yea I love you, yea yea yea I love you , yea yea yea With a love like that, you know I can't be bad" Repeat for about 2 hours. And then you can tell Def Leppard where to stick it, because a large female audience means a shitty audience. A hip audience is an all male audience. A proven fact, there can be no denying it.

- Wednesday, June 28, 2000 05:34

Whiggers sell.

- Wednesday, June 28, 2000 (forgot the timestamp)

The "backwards hat" trend is really the biggest embarrassment to white people (among countless other reasons). It goes to show that, when it comes to emulating popular music in order to appear cool, they pick the dumbest idea: trying to look and act like black people. It's dumb because it just DOES NOT FUCKING WORK with white people. We are uptight people raised by uptight people raised by uptight people, all the way from the dark ages just a bunch of people raised on toil and misery. They had to actually try to invent some way of having fun, and then failing. And now we're out of the dark ages, and all we had was a bunch of violins for fun. Wait. OH NO I THINK I OVERDOSED ON MARAWANA SOMEONE PLEASE CALL ME AN AMBULANCE Just kidding people. I'm perfectly sober. Really. Okay, I'm not. I ate food. ;_; By the way, the real reason why I use that crying ;_; emote thing all the time is because I think it is actually the most idiotic thing ever conceived of by a human being. It is so insanely stupid that it should be cherished, and not forgotten (because God forbid we ever make the same mistake again).

- Tuesday, June 27, 2000 01:02

I've been wondering for a while now why exactly is it that I think South Park is just a fucking dumb show for fucking dumb people. Maybe it was personal reasons, knowing people I hated who loved the show. But that didn't really fit, because I knew those people back when I liked them, and still thought the show was really no good, or at least not BRILLIANT as they claimed it was (it's brilliant if you're over 20 and think that Blue's Clues is a really cool). And really, I shouldn't say the show sucked, or sucks. Because that's not accurate. The show is garbage. Saying it sucks is like saying that I think the show sucks, because I really don't think the show sucks, I know that the show is fucking stupid. At first I thought South Park was going to be really good, actually, but after seeing the first episode I found out that it was really just a gimmick show, all flash and no substance, nothing but a bunch of stuff thrown into each episode in order to be cool and SO BIZARRE AND WACKY FUN FUN. The only reason why it's topical and outrageous is so it can seem SO TWISTED AND FUNNI LOL DUDE, when really it takes absolutely no balls or talent to make a cartoon that's marketed to adults and for adults where farting is a major plot point--even if you make it fire, it's really just the same old gag. There's absolutely nothing brilliant or genius about that, or about South Park at all. They can say that South Park is just going for the good old fashioned cheap humor, but when you think about how repetative it is, it really doesn't do it that well. The show itself is nothing more than a formula. And even others have to admit now that the formula is just tired. I finally realized the real reason why South Park is crap while I was watching Powerpuff Girls. If you've ever seen that show, you can see that it's even more violent than South Park and even more satirical, but the catch is that makes it really awesome is that it's marketed towards kids. Now that's balls. Same for Rocko's Modern Life, a show that's for kids really, but has some strong innuendo and truly bizarre themes. South Park is just a sellout show that's only joke is a simplistic formula where they try to be as outlandish and controversial as possible, and when your show is just a formula, it's only as funny as the jokes are. No balls at all--just a half hour of cheap tired jokes and catch phrases. And when it comes to that, the show really falls flat. Maybe a few actually funny jokes throughout the show, the rest are completely predictable--and if you don't believe me, try to guess really hard as to what's going to happen next, because usually I can. And then if things seem way too predictable, they just make up something that doesn't make sense in order to advance the plot. If that's really all it takes, well hell, I could do that. I seriously saw quite a few episodes of South Park where I thought "you know, I could write this shit easily." Powerpuff Girls is really a work of art, especially when compared to simple trash formulated merely to seem shocking instead of actually be shocking. Some people hail South Park as having a cool look because of the cardboard animation, when really it was originally just so they wouldn't have to spend money on making it (until the show sold and they started making it with computers). The art in Powerpuff Girls is REALLY unique, though, instead of pretending to be, due to the totally absurd look of the girls themselves. The drawing in PPG itself is satirical, where the massive eyes are parodies of the Sailor Moon and anime-type huge eyes along with their extremely high-pitched voices, ala typical anime females. Powerpuffs Girls is genius. Rocko's Modern Life is genius. South Park is just a sellout show for sellout trendy hipster pussy mindsets. There is one good thing about South Park, though. It's the ultimate show for those trendy hipsters who want to seem on the edge without actually having to be anywhere near any sort of edge. But still, the unavoidable fact remains. South Park just isn't funny.

- Saturday, June 24, 2000 22:19

What really influenced our Half-Life wav epic was a massive four minute mp3 that was posted on the Half-Life wav pool. Here. I especially love it when Vox starts talking about touching alien asses and getting "great hot head from men" for no reason. Enjoy! ^_^

- Saturday, June 24, 2000 19:20

I got bored today and decided to make yet another new Adventures of Kitty and Flower, episode three. I also updated the Creexul page with both new episodes now.

- Friday, June 23, 2000 14:50

You know, Clanpages/Clanhappy really is gracious to be hosting this site. I thank them. Especially with the nice deal of making it look more like our own domain name a bit more.

- Friday, June 23, 2000 14:47

Okay, new Adventures of Kitty and Flower. With a new Flash intro of course. This one seems a little pushed off to the bottom-side. That's because I had to reinstall Flash again and I forgot how to make the work space smaller until after the movie was made. Bleea. And we did indeed get Das Boot a couple days ago. And I decided to just put a time up on the timestamp there. Now I can update this about twenty times in one day if I want to. And I just woke up.

- Wednesday, June 21, 2000 - later

If only Rome had but one neck. :(

- Wednesday, June 21, 2000

It was I who put all those wavs into our main folder! And that "scisong" one is indeed a stupid limp bizkit (not deserving of caps) song, and it just has the sci repeating "shut up" every time fred "whigger corporate sellout whore" durst says "shut da fuk up DUDE." Or something. I also hope we can get Das Boot on DVD today. It's a classic! DEPTH CHARGES. And one last thing. I got my first piece of hate mail. It's not really special though. Just some guy who claimed that I talked to them before, asking me "WUT DA FUK IS UR PROBLEUM DUDE????" except with the spelling and grammar fixed (I bet that was a two-fisted job) in order to make it appear more presentable and credible, which it doesn't. He said I'm trying to get EVERYONE to hate me with my site. Strange how he thinks he knows more about my motives than I do. I notice lots of people in clans when I play don't really say anything about the tag. They get along fine with it, most of the time. Mostly because they know better than to get pissed off at the fact that they can't understand irony of someone having a clan tag in their name that says "ClansRGay." Some people get pissed off though. I'M AN EVIL TROLL ;-;

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, June 20, 2000.

For as much as we still hate the PHL wav pool, I have to admit that their latest update wasn't that bad. But since we obviously can't trust them anymore, here's a rundown of the wavs I found on our main folder: Barneyvsgman Not bad at all, however this one was a bit overlong. Still, the wav usage and editing were top notch. The wav itself still ends a little blandly, but its not a bad 2 minute listen. hgrunt_got_back As opposed to that last wav, this one's only about 11 seconds. Which is too bad, because it features a rapping hgrunt. As cheesy as that sounds, I thought it was pretty damn cool. Plus, anyone who's used the hgrunts in wavs knows how hard it is to make everything they say sound quick. Same goes for the vox. But this guy did a good job. killingscientistsagain Gordon Freeman goes on a well executed rampage. The use of HUD sounds in the wav was pretty cool, along with the fading in sound of an egon. It all ends with him grenading a barney. Kinda bland at that point, but still a very good wav. psycho_sci Neat. A sci on a screaming rampage, killing hgrunts. I mean, there's a bit of a story behind that, but the best part is obviously the parts were the sci scream wavs are mixed with hit effects and hgrunt pain wavs. Nice. odabm I had no idea what the fuck was going on. This wav wasn't that great. It's someone shooting as a sci, with loud musical interludes inbetween weapons firing. It really sounds shitty when the music is broken up by a sci yelling or a crossbow firing. Car_Problems If the person who made this had actually worked on it, this one could have been neat, but it's just dumb the way it is now. It's basically a car alarm going off with about 28 seconds of hgrunt gunfire. Skip this one. voxtrick Short and stupid. A sci and a barney hear an agrunt around a corner so they sneak up only to find that vox had tricked them. Ahaha. So then the author lifts DIRECTLY from a better wav and had the barney fire a rocket at vox as vox says "o shit." ye_scisong.2gether A sci DJs some shitty bizkit rap song. It's too bad these reviews had to end on a bad note like this. I'm gonna try to buy Das Boot on DVD later today. And then I will smoke illegal pot products and snack on a TON of fucking food items.

- Tuesday, June 20, 2000

I just brushed my teeth so hard that I threw up.

- This page was last updated on Monday, June 19, 2000.

Yes, that AC/DC BTM. It was good. I don't think it needs to be said in general, but for an AC/DC fan it did present some cool things I didn't see before/didn't know about. Like the old Let There Be Rock video with Bon in the robes. That was awesome. It was generally a better BTM episode than the Poison ep. But that goes without saying. I personally think it should have been a Legends episode, or maybe a 90 minute BTM special. But o well. In other news, I played the Deus Ex demo, and it was pretty awesome. I spent most of my time in the ladies bathroom, being a PLAYA. And then I got pepper sprayed. That was fun. Then I hacked into Gunther's email and checked out his silly message about wanting a gun implanted in his head. HAHA. So now he's gonna have a gun planted inside his head, which can go off whenever he thinks about wanting to shoot someone. Extra news, that Counter-Life mod looks awesome. Too bad that PlanetLifePortion won't dare put up any news about it. Because of course, they hate CS now for getting their own domain. Which just shows how much PHL sucks. Motorhead is awesome. You would think the Grammys would nominate them for an awesome double live album, Everything Louder Than Everyone Else. Instead, Motorhead were nominated for their joke cover of Enter Selloutman. FUCK THE GRAMMYS. Please excuse all spelling errors.

- Monday, June 19, 2000

I'm leaving it to Jsoh to cover the AC/DC Behind the Music that aired yesterday (we watched the "sneak preview" airing of it, at 11 AM). I'll just say this: it's funny how the other BTMs always have stories of the drinking getting so out of control that someone dies or loses limb in a car accident or some such. When Malcolm was having drinking problems, he just asked to have someone fill in for him for a while, and then he sobered up. Now that really is in control. I can imagine that sobering up while on tour could probably kill you. Malc took the chance though, and pulled it off fast and easy and then went back to the band. I also didn't know that the fans being killed at their concert was so rough on them--I never heard about it before actually. But then especially afterwards with that whole thing about the newspapers after having the news of the fans being killed, and saying that the band played on (to avoid further chaos), meanwhile showing a smiling picture of Brian. Brian's comments on that and Tipper Gore were absolutely fucking perfect, by the way. That BTM was the best one ever, because of that.

- Sunday, June 18, 2000

http://www.geocities.com/metroid74/cl.htm How totally fucking awesome.

- Saturday, June 17, 2000

Okay, I updated the gallery, with about seven more pages worth of pictures. Mainly PICTURES OF TEXT. But go ahead and check it out. In the gallery. GO TO THE GALLERY. Go there. I'm not going to even give you a link to it. You have to find it yourself, amid the mysterious and happi fun filled maze that is this index.html page at http://clansrgay.clanpages.com.

- Saturday, June 17, 2000

http://www.insanegamers.com/helpmegetlaid/ He may be another Eminem/whigger look-alike, but I think the concept of him getting 1,000,000 hits to his site and therefore being obligated to get sex from an attractive female carbon unit is FUNNY.

- This page was last updated on Friday, June 16, 2000.

I make it no secret that I am an AC/DC fan. I happen to be proud of all of their releases. Anwyay... Recently we were forced to reinstall Windows. In doing so, we accedentally deleted a fairly important file which happened to contain all of my wonderful lyrics quotes that I used for my sig file. So after that happened, along with the fact that I couldn't get any of my old mails or posted messages back into OE, I decided to stay away from NGs for awhile. Well recently, I resubbed to my most visted newsgroups: alt.music.rush and alt.rock-n-roll.acdc. Big mistake. One of the reasons I stayed away for that period of time was because I couldn't stand reading either NG. The Rush NG had become totally sterile, and the AC/DC NG was filled with morons spamming the group with lame ass messeges about how California is so cool. You make a post about Arizona Bay and you get one of the dumbest posts you have ever seen, in reply. Which brings another issue: Too many women are too proud of being women. Guess what, BEING A FEMINIST MEANS THAT ALL YOU DO IS ACT LIKE A MAN. Is this an accomplishment? No, it's not. If being a woman is so fucking special, then does that mean men are just mediocre? That would be a strong possibilty if it weren't for a fact that most female "rockers" suck total ass. Most, not all. But most happens to be about 99%. I haven't heard any female versions of Quad. I'm not going to. No one is ever going to.

- Friday, June 16, 2000

Uh oh, did Jsoh ruin my good internet name again? THAT CRAZY JSOH ^_^

- This page was last updated on Friday, June 16, 2000.

helo i m jsoh lol i am not a well spelr like mey brthor i am out to ruin jhohohos good internet name with mas bynary psosts threr i riund his gowd name on the inteaneet lololoololloloololooooolo

- Friday, June 16, 2000

Today we at ClansRGay (we = my brother and I, and no one else really) dedicate this news update to the wonderful Half-Life contact grenade. So many cheers it has brought after it's graceful arc through the air, landing square in the face of some soldier, tearing his skull from his face and sending it splattering onto the wall behind him. Or perhaps even disintegrating a group of silly headcrabs, all ready to attack one second, and ashes the next. Mayhaps even an unfortunate scientist or Barney who was in range at the time you "accidentally" hit the alternate fire button, reducing him to flying ribbons of pitch red BLOOD AND ENTRAILS. The contact grenade loves you too. TEE HEE ^_^

- Wednesday, June 14, 2000 - just so I can get this pic out of the way

I do love that font.

- Wednesday, June 14, 2000 - later, after a game of CS

I changed my mind about de_dust. It's awesome now! I just got done playing a 20 person server, with teams perfectly even, and as a terrorist, we charged our team right through the CTs, continuously raping them and even planting the bomb a few times. So now I'm perfectly fine being a gargantuan hypocrite and saying now that the entire map is spent with the Ts raping the CTs instead of the other way around, I love de_dust! Okay, I kid. They changed the map some so the terrorists have more cover in their area, and the netcode and smoke bombs let the terrorists do more (the smoke bombs are perfect for getting through that first corridor). And it wasn't really a total rape fest. The CTs won about five or six times out of the T's 12 or so. So now, de_dust is a GREAT constant-rape rush-only map. That is the key now, the Ts must rush. Except now, rushing works, as long as you are properly stocked. Really! I'm not a huge hypocrite or anything! The new netcode really does help my brother and I both get many more kills now. And I barely see people at the end of a map with zero kills, like I used to pre-patch. Another thing, I got a new batch of pictures now, and I should be updating the gallery soon.

- Wednesday, June 14, 2000

It's much easier to write for this site when I pretend that people read it. I'd like to meet someone who DOESN'T take their fun seriously! ^_^

- Monday, June 12, 2000 - to fill in for the day or two of updating that I missed

The ending to Fight Club didn't surprise me as much as it surprised other people I know. Because! Before there was Jack and Tyler. Oh yeah, I bought the DVD of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Fantastic. HAPPI BIRTHDAY, JIM GOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^______________^ TEE HEE

- Monday, June 12, 2000

I just remembered something. There was this one time some crackery white guy was at the customer service desk threatening to "go DMX all up in dis yo." Or some queerness. And he was actually older than 10 (he was twice that, in fact, I'm guessing). He was probably "all mad yo" because he got caught stealing bottles from the bottle machine room or some shit. Whiggers are dumb. Goddamn, whiggers are the most annoying and idiotic trendy trend these days. I can't go outside without coming within a hundred yards of some 14 year old with a backwards hat and puffy khakis worn around his ankles with ten feet of wallet chain dragging behind him being trampled by his $200 basketball shoes, asking me "yo, y'all's bottle machines ain't all's workin's, WUDUP WIT DAT???????????????????????/////" Yes, even with the slashes. His brain was so overworked by asking a question that hard that he ended up replacing several of the question marks with slashes, WHILE TALKING. Isn't that weird?

- Sunday, June 11, 2000 - later

http://www.filmthreat.com/Features.asp?File=FeaturesOne.asp&Id=159 Fantastic. Another thing, this AIM log should be enshrined. Ragefan20.htm It is like a beautiful work of art that brings tears to the eye in it's masterfullness. Especially with Jsoh's comments. It's beautiful. Oh yeah, another thing: what a dumb cunt.

- Sunday, June 11, 2000

The roses in the window box have tilted to one side. Everything about this house was born to grow and DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE RUH -go right into a motherfucking screaming ass fast fucking solo that is faster than a rocketship straight out of fucking ass motherfucking damn ass screaming HELL-

- Friday, June 09, 2000

The patch is buggy. I'm going to attempt to take a long vacation from updating this. Even with the bugs and people on your team looking like they're on the other team, the netcode is better than I expected, and I had more fun playing and watching the game than I ever did. I also found out that after a few maps, the problems go away. So the game is still playable. I'm downloading the Counter-Strike patch now (full install, just so nothing screwy happens). That might turn out better. A few minutes, I was disappointed that TFC is sort of unplayable. But still I'm happy with what's out there. I just wish they could fix it. Will it be fixed soon? Who can say?

- Thursday, June 08, 2000 - afternoon

New Half-Life patch is out. Now I can rest.

- Thursday, June 08, 2000 - a half hour after midnight

Just saw at Planet Half-Life the reason for the total news blackout about the new patch for the past, oh, ONE DAY, was because indeed the next thing you'd hear from Valve is that the patch is done. And it is, it'll be released tomorrow. Not that anyone who reads this site will care, since you can always go to twenty other sources before reading it here. However, I do need my obligatory orgasmic ravings so I can get it all properly vented and ready my mind and body for the obligatory orgasmic ravings AFTER I install and play with the new patch and CS and Firearms betas tomorrow. WLAGHKLAIOBPHAWOIBHOAIJ;LJOIRWBHAOIBAHOIHBEWOAIHBOIEWOAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm cumming. Oh yeah, and I bought Fight Club on DVD, the two-disc set. Spectacular, and worth ten times its cost. Another thing, the petition site is hilarious, because you can go to their guestbook, which they use as the petition, just has a ton of people blasting the site owners about how fucking stupid they are. Looks like that petition didn't work! Might want to actually try to become older than 12 before you try to express your opinions again, LOSERS.

- Wednesday, June 07, 2000

Eugh, my head. Dear God, what did I do last night? Oh yeah, I went on for hours worth of read-time about the Half-Life patch and video games and things I hated. My head hurts. ALL I WANT IS MY MOMMY. Ah! I just now found out that someone at Planet Half-Life was also so fed up with the bitching about the new patch not being released that he wrote an editorial about it (it must be really obvious if PHL is jumping on it, HA HA). Not only does he mention that, I also found out in the editorial that there's someone out there who got a leaked version of the patch, and suddenly wants to put together a petition to have Valve undo everything they changed in the new patch because they don't like the scoreboard anymore, and they can't shoot people through walls with the Gauss gun. Things like this always happen, though. There's always that huge amount of people who are crying their eyes out with the new release of Counter-Strike, and then after a couple weeks you don't hear a thing about how "the new beta sucks." Eventually people learn to live without whatever absurd expectations they have. Eventually, all the whining will disappear, and the stupid petition site and their faggy autoplaying MIDI will be gone forever, without a memory of them left behind. Everyone will think back to the patch being released, and either have fond memories of it, or would've died by then by total brain failure. Of course, one could say that technically, I'm a whiner, because I'm whining about the whining. They would be wrong, of course. It's complaining about the whining--and it's for a good cause. The original whining isn't, therefore it's a bad thing. Anyone who would say that I'm the whiner obviously doesn't know how to think, and it would be time for the government to step in and have those people shut down. PERMANENTLY. The guy who runs that shitty petition site with the trendy name in the URL and autoplaying MIDI will probably die of SIDS by the time the patch is released. And I am just here, doing my job of capturing the mindset of the Half-Life community on the edge of a massive event: a patch that will drastically change the game for all online players. I'm so proud of myself.

- Tuesday, June 06, 2000 - a couple seconds after uploading the previous news item

I just wanted to chime in and say that it's really not my fault that all these updates are so fucking extensive. They just come out that way. Oh yeah, and I already changed my mind, I'll upload the latest version of the JT conversation, as soon as I get finished with it... in about ten hours. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND DOWNLOADING A 10 MEG HTML FILE.

- Tuesday, June 06, 2000 - breaking news!

News update directly from Valve: they've cancelled the new Half-Life patch. They're not going to release Half-Life patches anymore. In fact, they're going to stop selling Half-Life in the stores, and recall all sold copies. Just kidding, you FUCKS. I read a message board over at some Half-Life site (Half-Life Express, I think), and people were totally enraged at Valve delaying the patch by one single day. They were literally out of their minds with rage. One guy was screaming with extreme exclamation points about how everyone should boycott Half-Life and go play every single other first person shooter game he could think of. People were enraged that, as they put it, Valve built up so much hype about the new patch and then delayed it. First, Valve didn't build up hype. They presented the facts about the new patch: that you can make mods with the new SDK that will allow a bunch of new stuff, VGUIs in-game, and improved netcode. I didn't hear Valve saying "THE NEW NETCODE IS GOING TO MAKE QUAKE 3 AND UT SEEM LIKE PLAYING ON A 14.4 IN COMPARISON." I heard a bunch of shitty low-standard sites out there saying that. The only real people who raised the expectations and got people out of their minds waiting for this patch was THE PUBLIC. It was the average moron out there who's been driving up the hype and anticipation for the patch, and now that they have to delay it in order to not put out a substandard product (which everyone is used to now, judging on the average quality of most gaming sites out there now), the normal loser who COULDN'T get a chance to beta test the patch is driving themselves insane. Now granted, I've been overly eagerly anticipating this patch, and extremely disappointed when it was delayed. But I didn't get pissed off at anyone and blaming HURF. Really, all I should be saying is that "anyone who got overly upset about the delay is obviously a fucking loser moron." And I will be correct again, as always! Oh yeah, and "Two Minutes to Midnight" is from Powerslave, NOT Number of the Beast. I can't remember which album I was listening to at the time anyway. FUCK. Here's an AIM log about it, which is really the short version of the conversation (currently I'm still talking to him, so the AIM log isn't yet complete, and I'm not ever going to update it with the full version, EVER... maybe). JTNummuroftheSlave.htm I'm not a number, I'm a free MOTHERFUCKING man. :( I also think that using italics and bold will make things funnier! I also think that if I point that out, I'll give myself credibility, when in actuality I won't. I'll only give myself credibility if I say "OH YEAH, TEAM FORTRESS CLASSIC SUCKS, BECAUSE THE MEDIC DOESN'T HAVE AN AXE UNLIKE THE SUPERIOR ORIGINAL QUAKE TEAM FOTRESS." And add in a bunch of references to people bashing their cocks against women's faces until their skulls cave in and they bury them under six feet of gooey MANCHEESE NUT STEAK or some idiotic shit, ala Voodoo Extreme (which is really the only pull Voodoo Extreme can come up with, because God knows that aside from that, there's really nothing else original on the site). That's how I would really get some huge respect in the gaming community, by acting like a white FUNNI FUNNI PIMP MASTA guy. In other words, acting like another whigger. That's what the video game community, like the MTV watching community, really deeply loves. Well, that does it, it's back to non-stop Clans Are Gay full-time negativity. FUCK GAMES.

- Tuesday, June 06, 2000

Patch delayed again, allgedly coming out today. Do you see a pattern? By the way, speaking of patterns, here's something completely unrelated to what I was talking about (just like the rest of my news updates as of late): Iron Maiden's next album is going to be called "WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." As in "LIIIIIIIIIVE TOOOOOOOOO FLYYYYYYYYYYY, FLYYYYYY TOOOOO LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE, AAAAAAAAAA-CEEEEEEEEEEEES HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oh yeah, something else. I'm a firm believer of (along with "logic") the concept that most anime sucks. That goes for things influenced by anime. Now we've had a lot of negativity here in the news on this site--just look at the title--but saying that "most anime sucks" would actually imply that there's some good anime out there. IS THAT CRAZY OR WHAT? LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE TOOOOOOOO--oops, I mean, there is indeed good anime out there. Bubblegum Crisis is perfect for those nights when you have nothing to do, or those days that you have nothing to do. I say anyone who wants to take a rainy day off work and watch Bubblegum Crisis episodes is okay by me. Devin Townsend is also very interested in Japan, as you can see by the liner notes and such of City (by Strapping Young Lad, go look it up and BUY IT). TWO! MINUTES! TO MIIIIIIIIIIIDNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiii.... I. I'm actually listening to this album (Number of the Beast) while writing this. So I apologize for any outbursts of screamingly screamy vocals. Anyway, I came across another thing that's obviously very influenced by anime and Japanese culture through the links at that awful Sinfest comic that I linked to a few days ago. It's called "The Thin H Line," the H standing for hentai, which means "pervert" in Japan (or so I hear), but over here it really means anime-based porn. I know these things because I, myself, actually was a Japanabe for a short time, about a couple years ago. Anyway! Digression. TWO! Sorry. "Pervert" descibes this comic, due to high nudity content, but it's not like some Playboy comic or anything (well, maybe the first few strips). All I can really say is that about a quarter of the way into the comics, it starts getting really good, but you really need to read the first quarter beforehand. It has a very graphic sense of humor, but I thought it was really worth it. I really don't find much funny, and when it comes to funny, my standards are HIGH. I don't have opinions, by the way, I only have FACTS, and the fact is that anime sucks and THL is funny, while South Park is the total fucking opposite of funny. Another fact is that I'm always right. Just letting you know! ^_^ Like anime, the characters are mostly Japanese and the artwork is anime-ey. Like anime, what seem like bit characters or single-appearance characters turn into full-fledged main characters in later episodes or what have you. And unlike normal anime, this comic strip doesn't suddenly start taking its characters WAY WAY TOO FUCKING SERIOUSLY, and adding serious love relationships and a bunch of stupid sappy shit like that, which ends up completely ruining the series all together. In fact, this strip keeps a dark outlook on love, sex, and relationship all throughout. Now it sounds like I'm making it sound really general, but I don't want to give out anything away just in case you really do end up reading all of it and enjoying all of it. THE THIN H LINE, GO READ IT. Your fuck is shit, dickass. :( They better come out with that Half-Life patch today. Jsoh got so frustrated that he actually downloaded Quake 3! THAT'S JUST HOW FUCKING IMPATIENT HE IS. THAT'S PRETTY FUCKING IMPATIENT, BECAUSE QUAKE 3 IS THE WORST GAME IN THE WORLD NEXT TO DAIKATANA. Oh yeah, remind me to write up my own personal terrible review of the Daikatana demo. Wait, I'll just do it now: I was expecting, at the very least, some very simplistic shooting action that didn't involve much thought but at least had SOME action to it. That was my expectation, and my standards are usually quite low anyway (if I'm even listening to a good song while playing the game, I'll say the game is good because I am a Goddamn motherfucking moron fuck). Anyway, I had low expectations and standards, all I wanted was some simple shooting and action, and I'd feel just fine with Daikatana, and maybe even give it a good mark. I wanted very little from this game, and I'd be happy with the littlest bit of enjoyment from it. MY EXPECTATIONS WERE NOT MET. All I did was punch a few frogs and bugs while crawling around a dark green swamp for an hour. What a waste of hard drive space. Oh yeah, I kid about Q3 being bad, it's OKAY. The mods look cool. I'm almost thinking about buying it in fact because of the mods that are coming out for it.

- Monday, June 05, 2000

I'm a very firm believer in the power of logic. New Half-Life patch is supposed to come out today!

- Sunday, June 04, 2000 - BLBHWLHBLW

The apocalypse has dawned. Is it just me, or do people actually take that final step to emotional and intellectual lockdown and shun thought these days? The answer is IT ISN'T JUST ME, FUCK PEOPLE, THEY ARE MORONS. No one's thinking for themselves, they just have everyone else do the thinking for them. The government, the media, their friends and family. I believe that my friends and family exist only so I can put my own thoughts and opinions in perspective by seeing if I can disagree with them. But that's me. However, I also never reject an idea without giving it thought. Every idea deserves thought, and I don't hide from any concept. I used to have friends who did that shit. I spend my free time harassing and making fun of them, now. They deserve it. There's no reason to be afraid of thought, and if you are, you need your third eye crowbarred open, and need to be taught how to think for themselves. Sometimes you can't leave a person to deal with personal discresion. We're so used to having other people make the choices for us that we can't even think anymore, and we get used to having the higher powers leading us around. Fuck you, Leareth. You are a MORON. We shouldn't be listening to people who can't even put together a coherant sentence. There are plenty of them. Granted, mainly I'm talking about people on the internet, but those people do exist away from their computers, and if they can't put together thoughts on a keyboard that can at least make sense, they shouldn't be allowed the privalage of thinking. We should just have them put into tanks and soaked for a year, or just have them thrown into a big pool of lava. And then killed. The only way I can think of to solve this, myself, is to just get the hell away from these people. People walking up to my door trying to sell me something I don't want, and them admitting that they're only trying to sell it so they can get this "kick ass" vacation deal. My solution to that is to hide in my room and pretend I'm asleep. Or if, by chance, a telemarketer will call, I nip that by NEVER ANSWERING MY PHONE. No one has to call me anyway. We don't have this phone line so we can TALK TO PEOPLE. I could finally escape from all those people I would present a concept to who would afterwards ignore it and go "wow, lot of words there," and then have them go on about why the sky is blue or something. Maybe I am just feeling a little misunderstood. I shouldn't be complaining. It's not like I pay bills or anything. Oh well! I could've sworn SOMETHING was frustrating me. In the end, it is all just the sheer mass of people who I've tried to explain simple logic to, and have them ignore it so they could say I was stupid. People who can't even grasp a simple concept like spelling or sentence structure, calling me stupid. It's really almost maddening. ALMOST.

- Sunday, June 04, 2000

SpaceMarine. An endless clusterfuck of total human failure, and today's "Hang Up On Yourself" award winner. He spent his time on the Counter-Terrorist team in de_dust complaining about the teams being uneven. He didn't really care that his team was winning anyway due to the advantage that de_dust gives the CTs, he just wanted a chance to call everyone "assholes," while being able to be on the team that was beating them regardless of the uneven amount of people. I changed my name to "South Park Isn't Funny" in an obvious troll that of course got people fuming mad because they can't deal with their emotions. Especially SpaceMarine. He was now on the jihad. I told him specifically that if he was going to cry, he should go home to his mommy, which properly fueled his ignorant rage. He kept pointing out how I "suk" because I had a score of something like 15 kills, twenty-four deaths. Which, for a ping of 400, is actually exceptionally good. I pointed out how he didn't learn math properly, and he got confused naturally. He tried to again repeat claiming what my score was while ignoring the ping (his ping was about 90 or something, and he had about 30/17). So I slammed my gun up his ass a couple times and blew his brains out through his mouth. He kept whining. Eventually the game itself fixed the CT's team being uneven by placing me on the CT team. Now, he suddenly switched teams to terrorists, again unevening the teams, just because I was on his team. A hypocrite who can't understand math, now. The map changed to cs_747, he whined some more about how I sucked while succeeding in completely ignoring logic and reasoning. It ended when I killed him about two rounds into the map, and he left immediately. He couldn't understand math, he couldn't understand sentence structure, and he had control of a fast internet connection that his mommy bought for him. The answer is for him to take matters into his own hands. SpaceMarine, it's up to you:

- Saturday, June 03, 2000 - later

http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/Forum29/HTML/000071.html Ha ha.

- Saturday, June 03, 2000

http://sinfest.net/ After reading this site, I had to listen to Punky Brüster's "Wallet Chain" four times in a row to get the taste out of my mouth (one of the characters even sports a wallet chain). The only thing missing is Korn/Limp Bizkit/South Park references. But there are screamingly hilarious pot references, so it must be cool! We purchased the new Iron Maiden album, by the way. Oh yeah, another thing, our computer seriously fucked up and died screaming to high hell. Actually, I just had to reinstall Windows (it's probably because of that damn Daikatana demo). And now I have to reinstall every program. I'm still confused by the occasional error message that says some file is missing or corrupt, and Run32.dll is fucking up again, which is what started the problem. As long as the 200 MB archive of AIM logs doesn't get deleted, or the other 700+ megs of other personal shit we have stays around forever and ever or until we can transfer it to multiple other sources in its entirity, then that's OKAY. It's not great, but we'll live.

- Thursday, June 01, 2000

A topic that I've been fighting about for a long time now: trendy fucking pussies. Saturating culture, refusing to recognize anything that is not trendy. As you probably wouldn't know, the moniker comes from an Anal Cunt song ("You're a Trendy Fucking Pussy"), and while the song itself features nothing but the typical AC-ish screaming and noise for 30 seconds, the situation is real. The trend is something I found myself on one side of. It's something that really practically does not exist. Cyberstalking, netstalking. What is it? You'd probably get many explainations from people who believe that it's not only real, but it's happened to them, and probably only one or two of them would be true examples, which would make it so rare that it really shouldn't be called "netstalking," but just "stalking," which has become trendy enough these days to catagorize as a violent crime, when really the violent part is the VIOLENCE which is even more rare. However, I should leave the facts to someone else, which are laid out in an article my sister sent me today (thanks). http://www.zdnet.com/intweek/stories/columns/0,4164,2577187,00.html Read it, eat it, breathe it. Someone, last year, actually said I was stalking them over the internet (I believe they originally referred to it as "net.stalking" adding the dot there to make it "net-centric" and therefore a bunch of trendy bullshit). They obviously believed it in, but only as a device to get people against me and on their side, and they never really pressed charges or presented a shred of proof to anyone (this person was the type who could get a lot of horny internet losers on her side very quickly--especially other trendy people). This person was the living personification of trendy. She was listening to swing music a year ago, for God's sake. And she loves tori amos. That's end-all proof right there. I never threatened her life, moved to live closer to her, or did anything to personally affect her actual life. Sure, afterwards I spread rumors and made up stuff about her (such as her exploding due to massive food intake, or catching fire due to high AIDS content in her blood, or some such), but none of them were serious, and in the end they would only make me look worse in the eyes of her friends (which I didn't give a fucking shit about whatsoever). And now that this article exists (I've already saved it to my hard drive), I can breathe the air of vindication, and start my long trek to IM every one of my old friends who have since believed that I am an evil net-stalker, ruining the lives of innocent young school girls ALL OVER THE PLANET, and tell them to their face with absolute proof that they are nothing but a bunch of TRENDY FUCKING PUSSIES. If that article wasn't enough, there's this reader comment here: http://www.zdnet.com/tlkbck/comment/321/0,7091,90188-453375,00.html "The only reason this relatively rare sort of crime (cyberstalking) has gotten this much press and its numbers have been so inflated is that it sounds great coming off a soap box or from behind a news desk. It also has the benefit of a trendy-sounding name [my emphasis -Jhoh] that's easily confused with cyberpredation, an altogether nastier subject." EHHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEH. It sums up the beast, really. Just another trendy fuck who WILL NOT do or say anything if it isn't trendy enough for them. FUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING TREND MONGERS. Trendy motherfuckers, go choke on your Korn and Limp Bizkit and Smash Mouth and tori amos and Barenaked Ladies. AND DON'T FORGET TO DIE SCREAMING. ^_^ That also goes for bands that make live albums that feature crappy orchestras playing badly in order to appeal to the crowd of people who think that anything with a bunch of violins screeching repetative power-notes at the same time is beautiful art and makes them cultured. So that's my piece on how trendy people suck, and are everywhere. Unfortunately, soon (VERY soon maybe) it will actually become trendy to accuse everything of being trendy (trendy people are already using that as their defense--you calling them trendy is trendy, or whatever YOU like is trendy, when it really isn't, they just need an excuse to fall back on and they don't think long or hard enough about the subject to forumlate anything that stands up to reasoning and logic). And then, at that time, once again, the fucking sheep fuckbrains will once again lower the standards for th English language and thought, and people with actual thoughts and points will no longer be able to get them across because of the Americans who have watered down all thought with their inane bullshit and lack of reasoning and intelligence.

- Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I pontificate about people who are stupid. A friend joins in, and has a conversation (linked within the file) to another idiot American who represents all that's wrong with Americans: denial of the fact that they are really just white-bread white people, and NOT JAPANESE OR BLACK. The saddest trend in suburban white people, all covered in today's special AIM log. Eat it.

- Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a friend that says he wants to find the kind of girl that would like to take a quiet walk at night in a graveyard, because of the calmness of the area, being a final resting place for many. But you know how it is. First he says "hey, let's go take a nice quiet relaxing walk in the graveyard," then suddenly it's "let's dig up some corpses [corpsii -ed] and put them in FUNNI FUNNI poses and take pictures!" and suddenly it's "let's have sex with the corpsiies" and then it's "let's summon Satan!" So, keep that in mind, ladies! HOW ARE ALL THE FINE LADEEZ IN DA HOUZE 2NITE????? YEA ;)~

- Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - afternoon, a few hours after I woke up

I updated the Gallery with more pictures and such (such being unimportant crap, like the titles of the page's numbers being all changed from "three" to "3" and so on--stuff you don't care about).

- Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - Deep in the dark sweaty bowels of the night.

Spring is here, su-pah-ring is here. Life is Skittles™ and life is beer. I think the lovliest time of the year is the spring! I do! Don't you? Of course you do. ^_^ You know, running a site that deals in things related to PC and online gaming, I'd probably want to interview Gooseman or Cliffe for this site. It could give this site some publicity too, and up the hits I get here. But I'd really rather interview Tom Lehrer. Or Eminem. On TV, even. A network TV show that allows unlimited swearing. And public executions maybe, so I can have tori amos on my show. And be a millionare! Of course, I have to suffer horribly either later in life after the show, or before I become a star. It is my theory of natural equilibrium. It might be someone else's theory already, but I don't know about it, so here's my thoughts on it. Famous people either have to be famous for a time and then disappear/have their lives fall into ruin, or have the ruin happen beforetime, OR they have to be unknown during their life and then become famous after death (Van Gohghhg, or Kafka), OR the world will have to have suffered in the way that the famous person will come in and restore the equilibrium and therefore they will not have to disappear or suffer for their fame and glory, the equilibrium existing and continuing in a sort of expanding mathematical spiral pattern. Everything lives by the spiral. For everything you forget, you will remember something else, and for everything you pay for in pain you get back in healing. BLEE BLEE BLOO BLOO karma is an incorrect offshoot of this theory BLEOHBHWOIB music is now paying for the artistic wave that's gone by in the 60s and 70s and some of the 80s LRHEOBHER HURF HURF I'm going to end up homeless and in the gutter where I will die screaming and be shot to fucking ass hell KH8392THB3 I might be a fucking billionare in ten years WHROIHWGY898H33H I hope I'm able to legally kill people then for fun and profit BLKHEOIHBOHOEI398 if I'm wrong I'll destroy everything you love BOIEH AT THIS RATE NOTHING BAD IS REALLY GOING TO HAPPEN WITHOUT SOMETHING REALLY GOOD HAPPENING AND THE WORLD WILL NEVER BE DESTROYED DOESN'T THAT SUCK?. Why did I type that? You know, I really seriously believe in natural equilibrium, even though I DON'T WANT TO (it would make things way too fucking predictable and even hopeless). But I ruined it all because I couldn't really put the thoughts out clearly, so I said fuckit. And then, in the end, I decided to post this on the site, because I don't want to bother deleting all of that. It's probably a mistake to keep it up there. I have other things on my mind. I'm probably subconsciously bringing natural equilibrium to my own life by way of Universal Life Force which is the subconscious bleebloo hurf. Good night! ^_^ Oh yeah, and I made a tiny update to the CS Tips page. Stuff about voting, burst firing guns, and getting sound back when the game is minimized.

- Tuesday, May 30, 2000

This one is dedicated to all the people on CS servers who thought they were clever when they pointed out that "if clansrgay dude then rnt u gay if ur in a clan???????????". Quit the game, disconnect from your service provider, cancel your internet account, throw away your computer, and stop thinking. Your brain has unrepairable defects, please refrain from using it.

- Monday, May 29, 2000

Hello, Dorion. ^_^

- Sunday, May 28, 2000

The next big trend in abominations to the English language: "for reals/reels?" Apparently, it's a notification that the person does not have the mental capacity to tell if something they've been told about is real or not. You'll probably see the writers for Planet Half-Life saying that soon (using the word "write" loosely, because those who can't write, write for Planet Half-Life).

- Saturday, May 27, 2000 - later

Bad news: clans are gay.

- Saturday, May 27, 2000

We got a new MUTHORboard, and processor. 500 mhz Celeron. And of course a new case to fit it all inCHU (WITTI ^___^). So things are suddenly a lot better. LIFE IS HAPPI HAPPI. I won't have to worry about our game still being slow with the new netcode because of our 200 mhz MMX processor and therefore creating more shitty packetloss. Oh yeah, and we have a faster CD-ROM, because OUR OLD ONE WAS A FOUR SPEED. They don't even sell CD-ROMs that slow anymore. They don't even sell used CD-ROMs that slow. Oh yeah, new keyboard too. One with no food stuck in between and under the keys. For now, though, for a few days, we'll be moving our nice computer here out to the garage where we will be living, because our mom decided to recarpet and paint our room, and maybe add a doorwall to the back wall. But we might plug the modem in out there, with the phone line out there and such (for some reason I don't understand). It will be better than this tiny room, living with two other people.

- Friday, May 26, 2000

Just doing a little editing with the site. Clearing some of the older news and moving it to the "old news" page, which I should probably sort by month [okay, I just did that--in fact, I did quite a LOT of sorting at the old news page]. Also, I added some of the extra stuff I posted here to the Creexul page, such as some of the Flash and things. People are coming to our message board to actually post advertisments for their own clans. Is that fucking sad, or what?

- Wednesday, May 24, 2000

Putting a movie soundtrack behind your live performance doesn't make you creative.

- Tuesday, May 23, 2000

What is it? I'll take it. Who is she? I'll rape it. Got a bet there? I'll meet it. Getting high? You can't beat it.

- Monday, May 22, 2000 - later

Ah ha! Clanpages/GameHappy finally has the message board registration working. I got the message board set up, I'll be fixing the colors as soon as they got that feature working. GO POST THERE, NOW. Also, I have added a button which links to the message board. Horay. Also, I got the flash intro up for the Kitty and Flower thing. I also wish to report that it's something completely unnecessary, to make AND watch. So go check it out!

- Monday, May 22, 2000

Tee hee. :( I've fallen in line, as it is, and am now making some Flash items for the site. Not because I really wanted to... I really think there's nothing more horrible and stupid than some loser trying to show off Flash skills to intro for their shitty site (I remember this one time I saw a rather impressive Flash intro to a Britney Spears fan site... I feel sorry for that person's soul). That's mainly the reason why I worked up some of this Flash stuff. I will NOT be making a Flash intro for this web site. Instead, I've already created a really really small one to intro for The Adventures of Kitty and Flower page. Which is a small text file. Yes, a Flash intro leading to a small text file. It's my personal statement to the world of Shockwave. The statement being that Shockwave is pretty fucking ASS GAY when in the hands of the public who use it to trump up the endless clusterfuck of human failure that is their poorly-designed and unnecessarily (animated) image-heavy web site.

- Sunday, May 21, 2000

Here's a personal conversation I'm posting that no one should really be interested in, because I make a few personal references and the reader has a 99.999999999999999999999999999999% chance of not even knowing who the people are who are talking [typing], or who I'm even talking to. However, it might have interest to you if you understand that this is a 35+ year old mother of three who is obviously in love with me. Except she's more of a watered-down derivative of me, and not really having a conversation but instead parroting me. Because I am God. Just thought I should let you know that. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.

- Saturday, May 20, 2000: later that day!

I sure hope they come out with a Half-Life 2, because in a few years, when I'm STILL idolizing Half-Life, it's going to look really silly.

- Saturday, May 20, 2000

The problem with Seanbaby is that he makes it look so easy. But it's not. I've seen Seanbaby imitators. They fucking suck. And I am not one of those Seanbaby imitators. Just thought I'd let you know! ^_^ Oh yeah, by the way, a friend of mine, OVER THE INTRAWEB!!!!, has recently acquired Flash, and he's made a little movie with it that is esentially about the life mission of my brother and I. It is totally dead on. I hope you have Shockwave already or something. I just hope you don't have it so you can watch a bunch of fucking stupid south park (again, not deserving of caps) cartoons on the Comedy Central site, or wherever. Not that it would be a problem, but I actually have virus scanned the file myself. Not because I was concerned about a virus, but so I could actually say I scanned it already, here on this site.

- Friday, May 19, 2000

I'm tired of waiting for fucking nothing. RWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, if I were your average trend-monger (not that there's anything wrong with that), the link would lead to "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminemienm Shady. Not that he is bad or anything. I say he is good! That means it's true. What is even more true is that Strapping Young Lad totally fucking blows away pussy whigger bands like korn and limp bizkit (not deserving of caps).

- Sunday, May 14, 2000

Hookups are for trendy fucking whiggers. Anyway, my brother was in a CS server today that didn't allow swearing. Isn't that absurd? People were being sliced in half by automatic weapons firing, and their skulls exploding and brains spraying out, but they didn't want anyone swearing. Get a fucking grip. They played de_dust ten times in a row, and changed maps every three seconds. I actually went on that server myself, a month ago. He changed his name to "FuckYouForsaken" which was the server admins name, and he was kicked faster than they would even kick a cheater or a team killer (friendly fire was on, too). That's usually the thing about admins, they won't kick cheaters, unless the cheater insults them personally. Everyone else was swearing anyway. And they were annoyed by the dumbass admin changing maps constantly, and threatening about how "if you keep complaining, YOUR TIME HERE WILL BE FAIRLY SHORT." Isn't that impressive? 209.143.46.244:27015  [Mmmm] CS Cleveland OH DS3 Cleveland must be a really bad place to live.

- DATE [if this says "DATE" then I fucked up and didn't update the timestamp here]--oops, I mean Saturday, May 13, 2000

Well, I quit my job, already. My mom always said I could "do anything if I put my mind to it." I put my mind really hard to sitting around on my ass comfortably at home. Looks like that cliche is right. Just kidding, it's fucking stupid. What I really want to do is be able to sit around all the time, but make money. I got my (first and last) paycheck Friday anyway, so I spent it on a bunch of nice things (like REAL FOOD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). I was able to afford a virus scanning program, just to be safe. I also got a George Carlin CD (Back in Town) and my second Tom Lehrer CD (An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer). I also rented some good movies. And if I was still working, I'd be still having to go to work instead of spending my money and enjoying it. A job where they don't even know what the hell they want me to do. Three different managers telling me to do three different jobs, and if I do one of them I'm not supposed to be doing, I get in trouble. That only lasted for a day, though. Once they made me work stock/bagging/janitor all in one night, I realized it was time to move on, give a big "fuck you" to everyone, and get my $200. Isn't that great? Game related... I haven't played anything, really. Not even CS. I really don't even know what I've been doing in my supposed free time since the last update, other than watching a couple movies, and eating some food. And sleeping. That's really what free time was when I was working/going to school. It was just sleeping. Food came in third place. Sleeping, school/work, and then eating. One day, I want to be able to make my own food money at a job that everyone else has. i.e. A job which is bullshit. According to my friends and family (who are pretty irrelevant to me), every single job I ever could have will be like that. Just one endless bullshit job after another. Anyway, clans are gay. I just thought I'd let you know that!

- Tuesday, May 09, 2000

I know for a fact that a lot of people don't read this site simply because I've never gotten a single e-mail that's said "this is just a ripoff of Old Man Murray." I love that site. I really do. I realized that the tables on my "news page" here are almost exactly like the OMM news tables. I realized that, when I was pondering ideas for the "new design" of this site, I wanted it exactly like the OMM site. The extra links to site pages on the left on 20% of the screen, and the actual news on the right 80%. I didn't do that, but it was the first thing I thought of. My site is even white-on-black (TEXT!!!!!!!). If I had a links page, I'd take the entire huge banner from the top of the OMM site, and use that as the link banner/button. Just reading the site makes me believe that I really could make something really cool on the internet, somehow. But if I'm right, Creexul will probably go unnoticed until I die screaming in hell. Which might be better, so I don't actually experience everyone's disappointment and lack of interest at it while I'm still alive. Seeing as I'd probably be sitting a foot away from their face, giddily spasming, drooling, and vomiting, they'd be less likely to actually enjoy it as long as I FUCKING LIVE. Perhaps I will end up homeless, dying alone in the gutter (which is where I seem to be headed, what with all my marketable talents for show right HERE AND NOW). Rur. Oops, you know what, I was stoned when I wrote the stuff about my site being like OMMs. I just realized that my site isn't all white-on-black anymore. Never mind!

- Friday, May 05, 2000

Something awesome. A fucking spectacular article, which is actually mirrored because the original site that hosted it is down or some such, about just how much Planet Half-Life these days fucking sucks and the maintainers of it are fucking morons. I saved it to my hard drive immediately, because it's that good. As you can see, in my older updates, I agree with this totally, as does my brother, who desperately wants this guys e-mail address so he can congratulate him or some such, or maybe tell him about this site. If the link to that is down, e-mail me, I'll put it up on this site or provide the text of the article, or whatever is necessary.

- Monday, May 01, 2000

Well, I've been working at the job now. Getting to know everyone, and getting to know how to clean the toilets there. Hello! Working eight hour shifts, cleaning toilets and floors and bottle return machines. What I wanted to really check in with was my comments on the newly released Half-Life mod, Firearms. I've been playing it a bit, for the past couple of days. I've already come to a conclusion. This is a great mod. Huge bunch of variety, more than AHL and CS combined. More weapons than both mods combined, and more new additions to gameplay and interesting new scoring system (it's so new that I haven't exactly figured it all out yet). Basically: it's two army teams, and there's capture points, and you can also gain lives for your team. If your team runs out of lives, the other team wins, and it goes to the next map. There's also "capture the security card" stuff and such and such. Someone said it looks kind of like a Team Fortress 2 alpha. Indeed it does. Very military. The models and maps aren't very professionally done, as you'd expect from Counter-Strike, but that doesn't get in the way of the gameplay, which can be quite awesome. There's some problems with stupid team killers on friendly fire servers and such, but there is an option to have a person automatically booted after they kill teammates so many times. It's all very interesting, compared to all the other mods out there. Definitely something new for the mod world. So, Firearms is really really good.

- Thursday, April 27, 2000

I mushed together some text and images to make some little image buttons for the other pages on this site, so they'd be at the top, before the news. Just thought I'd let you know! And it's good for posterity here... And they're temperary, by the way. I'll probably replace it with a more impressive image map or some such boovinry. Or just say fuck it all and get rid of them all together. Oh yeah, and I finally went to Clanpages to find out why I couldn't get into my FTP (which is why I'll have two news updates at once today). Weird changes there. Maybe I should make a message board... ha ha. I feel really off my ball recently. I've been getting ready to actually start a job. I feel like a big fat fucking SELLOUT. A job I don't want so I can buy shit I DON'T NEED. Well, it might help if I could come home and watch Fight Club EVERY SINGLE DAY, so then I could be a bit more comfortable before sleeping for 16 hours so I can wake up, take a shower, and then go back to work and repeat every day. Getting up, shower, go to work, get back after eight hours, sleep, repeat for months and months until my soul is completely drained (so if the site becomes increasingly bland, you know why), just like when I was going to school. However, with a job, I could actually afford a DSL, so I could actually enjoy my connection speed instead of feeling constricted by it. And upgrade this computer too, which I will then use to replay single-player Half-Life again in beautiful rendered full-speed no-slowdown blasting-an-hgrunt-in-the-face-with-a-shotgun launching-a-contact-grenade-at-some-loser-alien-or-group-of-headcrabs shooting-a-scientist-in-the-head-with-a-.357-and-quick-loading-to-do-it-again total-fucking-beautiful-work-of-art gameplay. And then maybe even get a second computer, hook both of them together with a LAN or some such Ethernet setup, and enjoy some SvenCoopian-SvenCoop. That is my real life fantasy. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ANYWAY. I also found out that even though Clanpages shut down the FTP (so I have to upload via web page), they got rid of the space limit. Maybe I should upload a seven minute Strapping Young Lad mp3... tee hee ^_^!!!!!!!!! One more thing! Looks like the 208.44.192.10:27015 server didn't take de_dust off the rotation. I wanted to report that a while ago as soon as I could, but I figured it was too insignificant to even bother mentioning. I just want to tie up that loose end right now though.

- Wednesday, April 26, 2000

I made a link banner for this site, in case, God forbid, for some bizarre reason, anyone actually wants to link to this site. LINK TO US!!!!!!!!! The dimensions are not of your average banner, but that was my choice. I like it. If you want, you can just copy the below code in the text box and paste that right onto your site to easily link. Or, the old fashioned way, taking the picture and putting it on your site and adding the link yourself. Whichever way you want. But I just thought it would be cool to add a text box with some helpful code ready for copy/pasting. <a href="http://clansrgay.clanpages.com"><img src="clansrgaylinkbanner.gif" width="158" height="172" border="0" alt="[ClansRGay] web site"></a>

- Saturday, April 22, 2000

Why It is Impossible to Overrate Half-Life by Jhoh Cable Half-Life had a substantial amount of hype put up to it. It was supposed to be the Quake 2 killer-killer. Games are not SUPPOSED to live up to such claims. Half-Life did. This is it's story. Now, you can see that I like Counter-Strike quite a bit, a popular, and very well produced modification of Half-Life. But really, I still have a soft spot in my big warm heart for Half-Life, normal single-playered. Half-Life is a work of art. Half-Life is the best thing ever made by a human being, EVER, and it will continue to be the best thing ever, for all eternity. It is more beautiful than anything you like, it's more relevant than any of the music you listen to, it's more realistic than the television shows you watch and laugh at or are shocked by. However, it goes beyond mere media. The drama in Half-Life is more interesting than the drama that goes on in your life, the amusement is more entertaining and fun than your normal daily distractions. Half-Life, as a video game, is a better PERSON than you are. It's more interesting than all of your stupid friends and dumbass family. You're boring, and an ugly person on the inside AND out. Half-Life is beautiful in all ways. Half-Life laughs at, and mocks, your pathetic feeble soul. Half-Life only entertains you because it LETS YOU be entertained by it. If you bought Half-Life, it's only because Half-Life LET you buy it, and if you didn't buy it, you're not even a real human being anyway so there's nothing it can really do there. Half-Life was masterly sculpted, even with its beginning flaws, which were later fixed. You were spat out, and all of your massive flaws will not only not be fixed, you'll probably end up making them even worse with your pitiful existence. Your skin shell flails around in its existence until it is snuffed out, while Half-Life will remain an eternal presence of awesomness that trancends humanity. Half-Life, in the coming years, will totally dominate and rule over all humanity, enslaving the race for all eternity. People will be sacrificed to it in rituals that bring about the collapse of all governments and corporations (even id) and countries and boundries and barriers and racial oppression and religion and everything else that comes with being human. Half-Life is better than humanity. And it ch0wns j00. Thank you. ^_^

- Wednesday, April 19, 2000

How's this? A bit more shiny and pretty than just seperating each news item with a line, and easy for me to still update with. Okay, so it's really not even remotely special. What is special is me. MEEEE! No, actually the special news is that I'm going back to work on that old Creexul map. I completely threw away the old version I had of it, and started from scratch. I even went to Fileplanet to take a bunch of prefabs (pre-fabricated items, like soda machines and toilets which all work correctly) to use in the map. I found a cool, yet gigantic, prefab of a Mechwarrior mech, which I put in a giant room where I'll have a firefight with a squad of four grunts. I should probably scale the mech down or something, though. The map is pretty messy so far, and SLOW. Guh. I tried downloading Q2Beaver from the Anarchy site, but it wouldn't even start up afterwards. Rur. There are other little problems I'm having with it, but I don't expect it to be a real map. Just some grunt killing. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A MAP IS ALL, DARN YOU ;_; It will no doubt be my final map, like my little endeavor with modelling which you can see on the files page--a first and last. Unless I decide, on a nutty, to make a Counter-Strike map, which I can imagine would be less difficult (no worry about scripted sequences or anything or placing enemies correctly). One last thing, I updated the Creexul page with the (fucking awesome) Smash font, which I used to create the ClansRGay logos, and the site logo at the top of the main page. GO GET IT.

- Tuesday, April 18, 2000

- Monday, April 17, 2000

- Sunday, April 15, 2000

- Thursday, April 13, 2000

- Tuesday, April 11, 2000

- Monday, April 10, 2000

- Saturday, April 8, 2000

- Thursday, April 6, 2000

- Friday, March 31, 2000

- Friday, March 24, 2000

- Thursday, March 23, 2000

- Saturday, March 18, 2000

- Tuesday, March 14, 2000

- Sunday, March 12, 2000

Jsoh Cable (6:43:49 PM): goddammit
ikazuchi (6:43:54 PM): hm?
Jsoh Cable (6:44:13 PM): stupid fucking chico clan server
Jsoh Cable (6:44:21 PM): they kicked me because of the clansrgay tag
ikazuchi (6:44:24 PM): heheheahhaha
ikazuchi (6:44:26 PM): HHEHEHHEHE
ikazuchi (6:44:30 PM): Morons
Jsoh Cable (6:44:35 PM): it was retarded too
Jsoh Cable (6:44:41 PM): the guy had downs syndrome
Jsoh Cable (6:45:06 PM): he didn't really figure it out til some complete ass said "clans arent gay dude"
Jsoh Cable (6:45:15 PM): o Christ
ikazuchi (6:45:23 PM): morons
ikazuchi (6:45:26 PM): MORONS
Jsoh Cable (6:45:28 PM): their clan site has some STUPID techno blasting on their site
Jsoh Cable (6:45:32 PM): imbedded techno
ikazuchi (6:45:39 PM): hehehe
Jsoh Cable (6:46:15 PM): and so the moron admin chimes in with a brilliant "don't be mean to clans clans are cool dude"
Jsoh Cable (6:46:21 PM): and then kicks me instantly
Jsoh Cable (6:46:26 PM): I said almost nothing
Jsoh Cable (6:46:32 PM): but he still just kicks me
ikazuchi (6:47:43 PM): fuckign homos
Jsoh Cable (6:48:32 PM): so just before I left, I said "I have to take a lot of shit because of my tag, BUT I DONT HAVE TO TAKE IT FROM NO SPIC PIMP ADMIN"
Jsoh Cable (6:48:37 PM): and then typed quit
Jsoh Cable (6:48:51 PM): that was fun
Jsoh Cable (6:48:55 PM): too bad the server was bullshit
Jsoh Cable (6:49:09 PM): there was no 5 second starter thing
Jsoh Cable (6:49:15 PM): the matches started immediatly
Jsoh Cable (6:49:23 PM): I asked the guy why there wasn't
Jsoh Cable (6:49:34 PM): and he just says "because clans arnt gay"
ikazuchi (6:49:41 PM): what a moron

- Monday, March 6, 2000

- Sunday, March 5, 2000

- Tuesday, February 29, 2000

- Monday, February 28, 2000

- Friday, February, 18, 2000