- 1/31/01 3:10:53 AM

Subconscious conscious conscience.

- 1/30/01 4:35:43 PM

Johoho has yet to upload his Netstalkers Newsletter thing. I will concentrate on getting/smoking weed while playing video games. I have that fucking COVERED. Jhoh has to do the other stuff. Uploading our other reviews and shit. I haven't done much the past few days. I know you have been hanging on the edge of your seat to see if perhaps I died, but I didn't. Anyway, I almost did some work on the site, but I decided not to.

- 1/28/01 8:49:54 PM

Otaku Feh is really really important. If you haven't already read all of it, you aren't a good person. Much like STILE SUX, we now have our own "webcam pic with sign" gimmick.

- 1/27/01 11:55:46 PM

Oh yeah, you know that huge rambling post I made a couple days ago about those weird dreams I had? I had just woken up. You know how you get, when you wake up after having a ton of weird vivid dreams. You don't? FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, in the update, I made a reference to some $1,000 social security check that I never saw, but I was supposed to pay back somehow. Well, a day later, I get a letter addressed to ME from the social security office saying, and I'm quoting from the CRAZY FUN letter here: "As we told you in our prior letter, you do not have to pay us back the money paid in error. Based on this, your current overpayment balance is $0.00" I never saw that prior letter (I guess that implies some law was broken, but I'm not going to press charges), BUT I think this mail counts as some real fan mail for my site! Wow, I didn't even know anyone read this thing. Social Security guys, if you could pay me at least a $20 "in error" so I can "accidentally" order a pizza, I'd appreciate it. And I'd work overtime to make a great "Social Security Office Funnies Week" on the site, or some shit. Come on guys. I am Counting on Social Security -- For the Times That Count™! And remember to put MY name in the address.

- 1/27/01 11:45:11 PM

I should put this log on the site! I suddenly love FuckedCompany. I've known about it for a while, but not until I read the bigwords.com and pets.com comments boards did I really really care. I guess I just was not ready for it!

- 1/26/01 7:45:51 PM

I had a threeway with Megan Pillow and Megan Shorts last night. They both screamed for more as I sprayed huge loads of cum all over their giant tits. AND THEN I WOKE UP AND WE ALL WENT LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

- 1/26/01 12:35:09 AM

I have decided to end my love affair with Megan Pillow. We are already divorced and have gone our seperate ways. I hear she moved into a nice place underneath my bed. However, I have found a much better life partner. She is my new wife. I would like everyone to meet Megan Shorts! I met her after a dream I had about the real Megan, where I once again woke up spraying huge blankets of cum into my pants. And who was there to greet it, but, you guessed it!!!!!!!!!! Megan Shorts. She is sure to be much more loyal. We shall never part.

- 1/25/01 11:04:53 AM

MEGAN, I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU AGAIN. This time a real dream. About the real Megan, by the way. We were in an old spooky haunted mansion, but it wasn't spooky or haunted, just nice, and everything was made out of polished wood. Both of us sat on front of the large dirt mound in front of a TV and played some sort of Gradius/R-Type kind of game, except it was 2 players at the same time, and the ships were TINY. Like only a few pixels. And it wasn't shooting so much as it was flying around big shooting arcs and pillars of fire and electricity. And as the game progressed, it got even more insane, as the speed picked up and the walls were flying in closer, and you have to either fly forward or stay back as the pillars shot fire and electricity like crazy, until the end, where the whole screen was a big grid of fire and death. Megan was staying a pixel away from most of the traps and walls and shit, while I died. Obviously a reference to her good performance in GTA2 deathmatch games. OBVIOUSLY. The mound of dirt was probably a reference to cunt. Probably hers! Oh yeah, and then afterwards I fucked her, and her huge fucking tits. And she loved it. After that, I had a dream about my grandma finding something I wrote in the front page of some book. I don't know what book, or what I wrote, or why she cared, or what it was about. None of those details were filled in, and that's never happened to me anyway. However, she was quite upset and gave me some big lecture about living in the depression era and how it wasn't easy, and I felt bad because suddenly I got these images of the depression era itself, where people didn't have a chance to eat or find a home. Supposedly 99% of the population of America, in my dream. I'm sure that's not the real figure, but it's a dream, and I don't know a whole lot about the real depression. But the theme of the dream was based off of reality: an authority figure in the family lecturing me about something that would offend only them, but in the long run really means nothing (offended about the depression? TOO BAD). My grandma would never do that anyway, about the depression. But the family would, about just about anything else. And, also, our life is like a depression. Instead of not having a home, we don't have a world. On the upside, we only have to beg for food. Horay! Too bad that, according to mom, the government is still coming after me for the $1,000 check I supposedly got in social security that I never saw a single penny of because she spent it all herself. And then she uses the fact that it was sent to me to threaten me into fearing that the government will do something, for some reason. I don't even know why I'd get social security. And then I had some other weird dream about being in line at Krogers (where I used to work), and mom cuts in front of some guy instantly. And then there's a guy at the end of the checkout counter, not doing anything because there aren't any bags ready for bagging (what a dumbass). And the guys are all about 30, and bulky, and not in any uniform. So I have to go there myself and find the plastic bags and put them on there myself. Suddenly I was doing my old job again. When did these dreams just get so obvious? Oh yeah, and then we had a 10 minute argument about some ham I brought (I don't even like ham), which had an $8 price tag, but I kept telling them it was $3, and I was holding the ham in my hands the entire time, and no one was doing anything, I just kept holding the ham and saying "I dunno, it's $3 or something," while covering up the price tag so no one could see it. It was probably so mom wouldn't see it and then just tell me to take it back. I don't know why I got it in the first place. I think it was something important. Fuck it. And then I had a really vivid bizarre dream about some witch. It was a lot like some video game. You start in a hub room, like Turok or something, and then find tiny worlds or marbles, or maybe elements (such as fire, ice, blah, blah, blah). And there was an evil bad guy who hated her and threatened her with some weird poem where the line starts with the year the element balls were made, and then the continuing threat that the combined power would kill her if she got in the path. But she didn't, and they did some magic thing and destroyed him in his house. The ending scene with his house was really weird, because the viewpoint took place on the moon, but it was small, and the earth was right in front of it, except how the earth looks from the moon was actual size (only about 14 feet high and wide). And a big slow ball of rock slowly moved in from the left side to the right, disintegrating the earth ball, but it wasn't earth, it was just a small platform of rock with this evil bad guy's house on it. I have to admit, I don't know what the fuck this dream meant. But it was pretty cool! Must've been all that sugar.

- 1/25/01 8:30:32 AM

A little while ago, I fired up a few old singleplayer HL mods, because I was bored. I think the first one I tried was Redemption. Unfortunatly, it gave me some weird error about how it was an old version. Didn't make sense to me seeing as how it's a singleplayer game, but perhaps some vital code was changed in the latest HL patch. Then again, if code was changed, why would it tell me that the game was outdated, instead of giving me a more typical "incorrect dll" error. The error told me to check the Maverick site for a new version, or some shit. Well I went, and that's when I took a little sad note into account. Redemption is no longer a free mod. It can't be played anymore. Redemption started being sent out for retail, with some new HL package. CS or the platinum pack or something. Anyway, it won't let me play Redemption anymore unless I buy it. Which would be ok, if Redemption was a really great addon for Half Life. Truth is, it's just a map pack with a few good ideas. A few extra model skins and perhaps a little bit of new code was included, but that was it. And now I have to pay for it? Since the release, the name was changed from Redemption, to Absolute Redemption. I checked out the screenshots they had on their site, and it didn't look too different from the game I played so long ago. Perhaps the levels were all re-textured, but that is about it. When I think about the mod itself, I do remember that there were quite a few "wow" moments in it that I never got with any other mappack before, ever. Like the voice acting. Somehow, they got people who gave perfect impersonations of the g-man and Barney. The moments where you interact with these characters is incredibly cool, and offers for some pretty funny scenes. It was the gameplay department that Redemption failed. Most of the game was way too fucking hard, and the last level needed to be patched. There was a whole lot of puzzles that were either too easy and pretty cool, or totally dense. Even with cheats on, there were a few parts I could never figure out. And I have to pay money for this now? No, I won't. I fucking refuse. Nice try at selling your mod, Maverick. You picked a good mod to sell, but you shortchanged the rest of us. YOU LOSE. Maverick also released another mod for retail called Wanted. It doesn't look interesting in the least bit (perhaps because there's only 6 available screenshots for it), except for that female character hanging around the top banner of their site. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

- 1/24/01 10:55:31 AM

Pull out a hair every time you see a Loony Toons character with a speech imepdiment, and you won't have any hair left within an hour. Cut off one of your balls every time you see one of the characters making fun of Japs or dumb black kids. You won't have any balls left before the episode even starts. Buy a dog every time you see a Loony Toons character that doesn't wear pants, and soon you will have fleas. That's all I could come up with. :(!!!!!!!

- 1/24/01 10:45:08 AM

loserjun (8:54:08 PM): i saw the new updates loserjun (8:54:19 PM): about song lyrics in away messages being gay ;-; Neptune Salad (8:54:26 PM): No. Neptune Salad (8:54:28 PM): In AIM logs. loserjun (8:54:35 PM): i'm still going to use my 'how to eat a scythe' away message loserjun (8:54:37 PM): oh loserjun (8:54:38 PM): OH! loserjun (8:54:41 PM): ^_^_^_^_^^ I don't know who this loserjun guy is, but he's stupid! But I am kidding, Jitx. But I realized this morning that I probably got that habit of song lyrics and stuff from watching Loony Toons all the time as a kid. Try watching it. Drink a shot every time you see/hear a character singing to themselves. If you cut off a toe every time Bugs sings a upbeat tune to himself, you won't have any toes left by the end of the cartoon. Quoting entire songs is really really dumb though, unless it's Anal Cunt songs. What's worse than some fruity song lyrics? The person's recommendation of that song immediately afterwards. Thanks for the song about the lovely stars galaxy, or shit about "AM radio," but please refrain from sharing your thoughts ever again. AND DON'T FORGET TO DIE SCREAMING ^_^

- 1/24/01 7:09:38 AM

Well anyway. I started playing Fallout 2 again for the first time in a month or more. I already beat the game, but after my fucking car got deleted because of some fucking fuckbug, I just totally gave up. Well, after I started an all new game, I was doing ok around my village. As soon as I left for Klamath, things went straight to hell. I passed on helping Torr protect his gay brahmins or whatever ehaadfsgdk, and after he refused to offer it again a minute later, I went to the trapping grounds to fill the boozehootch oven, where I was promptly killed by a million geckos. Haven't played since that point. My last save was located in the fucking village still, before I even get the flint for the spear. Well I did pick up today since my last save. I ended up blazing through everything (that rat god died with a single headshot from my gay single-shot rifle I stole from Vic's place) up to Den, where I was faced with a tough desciciosnfdsf. Try and raise the money to buy Vic honestly, or kill that child molester who talks like Scarface and scavenge all his shit. After all, he's got TWO GFUCKINGDSFHFG .44 MAGNUMSKFDS, AND I WANT THOSE FUYFDKJFUSGSBJGGSG. Last time I played the game (I mean, back when I had bought the game and played it to the end), I went from the first 10% of game, all the way up to the oil derricks, using nothing but the .44 magnum revolver and a constant supply of jacketed hollow-point ammunition. I hadn't even tagged the small guns skill. O yea, and I really wanted to go over the Counter Strike weapons guide myself and correct some of the really big errors in it. But I decided to offer this little piece of advice: PLAY THE FUCKING GAME YOURSELF. God knows it's not gonna last more than a month or two. Unless you bought CS retail, then you get that awesome looking training level, and I hate you.

- 1/24/01 6:19:23 AM

You know that comment I made down there about Sam Kinison's rules for living in NY, or living at all? It was actually Andrew Dice Clay who said that. He also made sure to point out that you would be jerking so often, you would be pulling out knee cartilage after awhile.

- 1/23/01 11:21:21 AM

BinkystonedMANNEEDWEEDSOFUCKINGBAD.htm As you can see, Ford, we saved this one already.

- 1/23/01 7:43:30 AM

I was lauding Wasteland Half Life recently. No, not in unseen news updates. Just in general over the internet. For those not in-the-know, WHL is another multiplayer mod that, like SvenCoop/DayOfDefeat/Firearms, happens to have about a million years worth more appeal than Counter Strike ever will (bad sentence I know, but I'm not a real writer and you know that). A lot of the ideas in the current beta 2 version of WHL are really good. So what made me register a long and pointless spam filled sign-up sheet simply to post a single troll post to their message boards? The bots in the mod. Imagine a bot that happens to act just like that, a fucking scripted computer program. It's really pathetic. Because these bots are run by the server, they can shoot you in the head 5 times from around a corner before you even see them. The whole point of creating a good bot is making sure that when the bots are ready to be included in a game, they don't do such things. Because hey, who the fuck would want to play that shit? Apparently, the guy who made the bots for WHL does. WHL happens to have a neat little effect where if you take too much damage (hitting 29% health, I think), you simply bleed to death. It's only deathmatch so far, so bandaging isn't really required yet. Rather, it's kind of fun to be at 20 health and have to go into a kind of dead run, limping along (thanks to the injury, which does make you slow down in the game) firing crazily before you expire. Well, if you happen to get shot severely in the head, you black out for a second or two. And for every hitpoint you lose after a headshot that sends you into the red, the screen blacks for a moment. Your dead run will be that much scarier, because you can't see very much. That's the neat effect. If you thought the neat effect really was the part where you just bleed, then I pity you, because you're dumb. So you can't even see that a bot just shot you in the head 5 times from around that corner. And people on the message boards are thanking the loser/retard/fuckface who made this piece of shit? They are "GRATEFUL" for being force-fed these fucking shitty bots with gay goth names? I tell you, I want to fucking pirate UT again just for the feeling of playing against professionally made bots. Other than that, WHL is a great mod. But the bots are dumber than a puddle of grease. I played a map where there were cliffs around the edge of the map, and the bots kept falling off. They also ran into the high energy laser fence several times. Bottom line, the bots should not have been added. The team should have actually played a game with the bots, so they could email the guy who made them and told him where he can stick his fucking lameass bots.

- 1/23/01 12:08:12 AM

I am a male. And just like every other normal male human, I am a slave to the outdated process of sexual reproduction. By a mistake of evolutionary process, most male humans are hard wired into an endless cycle of rebuilding hormones and endorphines that cause them to become posessed by sexual desire. In all, it turns out to mostly be a total fucking waste of time. What women probably don't fully understand is that men can be somewhat normal until those chemicals start overriding most mental functions of the male until they become zombies for sex. A pointless activity to continue a pointless race. We humans like to really glorify ourselves into some kind of spiritual thing, when really it all comes down to amounts of chemicals in our brains. People mistake themselves into a deep love, when really it's just a mix of fear and joy, like mixing two colors together and getting a new color. Our bodies and souls are 100% math. Sorry it's true. It's okay, you can cry. But humanity is a lie. Some of us have always known this. Most never will, and would never want to. I should also probably be cumming more in volume than I do. What a bunch of fucking bullshit.

- 1/23/01 12:01:12 AM

Gonna change the name of the clan, this site's name and address, and our whole mantra. As of next week, we will be known as LANsRGay. Because dude, they are like so gay. Dude.

- 1/22/01 11:36:53 PM

I'm pretty sure that this has been said by someone before, somewhere. But trivia is the tool by which everything in "modern society" is measured. Intelligence is measured not by intelligence, but by stored trivia and specific points of knowledge. Being a doctor involves half knowledge of trivia (anatomy and medicine) and half discretion (prescribing heavy narcotics to bored housewives). Office jobs are 100% trivia. All those important American jobs are just trivia based. Trivia is the formula by which most of society runs. If we can't break or reform the formula, then it's going to be hell for me to really get a job, unless I'm really really lucky! Bring down society for my own personal gain! PLZ AND THX Fuck it, I'm not going to think anymore, tonight, I've done enough thinking for one update. Time to sleep. WEED IS COOL DUDE

- 1/22/01 6:19:40 PM

Actually, this one is a good one too: MegangettingdrunkandscaringtheCUMoutofher.htm. This one is different from every single other "I'm getting drunk and chatting with people" log you will ever read in your entire life. Here's how everyone else's drunk-chat log goes: Them: LOL! wacky ducks and cheese!!! Other guy they're talking to: whatever dude....... My conversations (not "CHATS") are more interesting than some people's fucking lives.

- 1/22/01 6:07:04 PM

I'm already breaking the rule from my previous update. I guess I just don't fucking care. First: MegangivesCoyoteUgly5stars!.htm Second: Batrenisamrmiinnpuregold.htm Last: Meganwantsmetoattackretardbashingthreads.htm

- 1/21/01 4:51:37 AM

Sadly, I just now came to the realization that random song quotes in AIM logs is the total opposite of cool. But someone had to do it first. So keep in mind if you read some of those logs and see that kind of stuff: it's an example of what not to do and how not to do it. Someone did it already, so don't bother. The end. I'll probably keep doing it, BEHIND YOUR FUCKING BACK.

- 1/21/01 3:10:40 AM

Apparently, the only time Comedy Central can play stand up comedy anymore is at 3 in the fucking morning. Just more corporate television bullshit. Leave it to The Dude himself to reveal just how full of bullshit those fucking top 100 lists are, ON THEIR OWN SHOW. And what's on prime time? A new sitcom about George W. Bush, called That's My Bush! And here's the shocker: it's made by the creators of South Park. Already it sounds like a spike-fisted gutpunch of unfunniness. Fuck that queerness.

- 1/21/01 3:01:05 AM

On the latest VH1 countdown thing, this one about the greatest albums, Jeff Bridges announced the album at #1, which I happened to forget. It was some Beatles album, Revolver or something. A decent enough album, and Chuck D of Public Enemy talking about how much he liked the album. Well anyway, when it was all done, Jeff is standing there as the lights go off, and asks where the hell was Creedence, or if it would kill them to put on Creedence album on the list, and/or Janis. Where was Janis? It's too cool to not be true. He's voicing real concerns that exist for These Fucking Lists. Where was Janis, seriously. What the FHYFKVCIGN GFHCIGSGIT, MABNN? Another thing that Jeff points out after Who's Next makes it to 12 or something, is that Keither Mewnie was voted by Rolling Stone as the second best drummer ever, behind fucking Karen Fuck Carpenter. What the fuck bullshit assfuck is that shit? COPERATE MAGAZINES STILL SUCK. MP3 of the mp3: Crosby Stills Nash & Young - Woodstock.mp3

- 1/20/01 8:04:52 AM

Sure, I could say that we lost the Vietnam war because they were better fighters with better weapons. But I would be rationalizing. :(

- 1/20/01 5:59:33 AM

Finally updated the Counter-Strike weapons guide. We have learned enough about the new guns. Plus, we apparently forgot to add smoke grenades. There's a link or button leading to the guide somewhere on this site. YOU FIND IT, ASSHOLE.

- 1/20/01 2:33:41 AM

It's strange, but sometimes when I'm right, it'll still take me a little bit to actually come up with an explaination. I wish it would come instantly. Just so I could at least win as soon as possible, and let the other loser wallow in their total failure. It happens almost every time I'm in some argument, on newsgroups, message boards, or game servers (which is the worst place for an argument, but no one's going to hesitate to tell me that Action Half-Life DOESN'T have terrible coding, as we're all stuck together in a big lump until we all suicide and restart the round). I just have to say--that fucking sucks. Waiting to prove HOW I'm right. I'm right in the first place, so it should come naturally. But no, I have to wait for some fucking queer reason. Just a fucking waste of time. Perhaps it is just me.

- 1/18/01 5:08:00 AM

If you want to be really cutting edge cool today, you should think about proclaiming how normal you are. After all these "hard core" bands have saturated the market with a "look how different and non-conformist" image, the lie has become so plastic that eventually you'll see people just settling down and accepting that they aren't different, and they don't care. Of course, I'll still rage about how different and unique I am, because I'm not going to conform to the trend of proclaiming my normalcy! I am so rebellious. Really! ^_^ People decrying Microsoft is America's way of lashing out against itself. Good job, America.

- 1/16/01 10:51:46 PM

METAL Any article that bashes shitty assfuck nu-metal is instantly great. Extreme Kiss bashing. You have to go to the page and then hit the button. The real "article" is in a pop up window. But, of course, it's worth it. You only really need to read one anti-Metallica editorial, and this one is it. Reviews are a different matter, of course!

- 1/16/01 4:04:50 AM

JeffK is the strongest fighter!

- 1/15/01 11:57:59 PM

Actually, it's Jsoh's job, because fuck you. Anyway, I have a couple stories to share. Here's the first one. Here's the second one, posted to alt.support.childfree (a sort of "anti-child" newsgroup): My stalking victim/wife and I were driving to some generic vacation city that I'd take the time to brag about going to, but I won't, because my baby-killing hands are so tired from KILLING BABIES that I'd rather not waste time talking about the city, but instead point out in detail why I won't talk about the city. We stopped at a food place building, probably Italian (because it's always Italian). We figured "wow, no cars, there will be no families in there!" The parking lot was empty, and the lights were off, and the building's windows were boarded up. Surely, there would be no parents or kids! When we got inside, it was pretty quiet. We were seated at our table, and then I slapped my wife in the face and made her order for me. She went "LOL! ;)" When all of a sudden, an infant "fussed quietly." I put it in quotes because the baby wasn't saying anything, she was breastfeeding. At the table. I looked around to see if anyone else was seeing this, but they weren't. Everyone else were teenage mothers, pregnant AND breastfeeding in public! We were in the center of the "sprogfest" (LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), with tables of unwed teenage mothers spiraling around us! I alerted wifey-waa to our own private hell. She got the same devlish look in her eyes that I did, as she went for her holster. The babies could smell the excitement, and suddenly they all started crying. The mothers took them off their tits and threw the babies onto the table, and then stared at the ceiling, pretending not to notice. That's when the wife and I decided to take action. I activated my super secret flamethrower/jetpack and activated the "baby killer" setting. The wife whipped out her dual Colt 1911s (JUST LIKE THAT AWEOSME Jhoh WOOE MOVIE YANOWHATIMSAYIN DUDE?), and started with a side leap (to the side), firing randomly towards the sea of teen mothers. Each bullet fired was an instant headshot, blasting into the pasty white faces so hard that they did double backflips through the air, landing on their stomachs, which exploded in giant blasts of fluid. I activated my (super secret) flamethrower and started torching the fat baby-plants, causing them to overhead and explode in giant blasts of combustable fluids (everyone knows that the stuff the baby floats in is highly flammable). The flying fire juice caught fire from the blasts, which created a chain reaction of exploding mothers and babies. Meanwhile, the dear wife was doing backflips and sidespins through the air, firing shot after shot (200 shots fired without reloading). It was like that one really cool movie where a bunch of people die or explode or something. Then we detonated a nuke. And then we turned on our jetpacks and flew home, the end. Oh yeah, when we got home, I ripped out my wife's cunt so she couldn't have any kids. And then we both went LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The real end.

- 1/15/01 8:39:05 PM

I saw Traffic. Trafficking is what they charged Billy with for 30 years in Midnight Express. My lawyer - my lawyer! That's a good one - says "Be cool, Billy." Don't get angry, don't get upset, be good and I'll get you a pardon, an amnesty and appeal, a this, a that, the other thing. Well, this has been going on for three and a half years and I've been playing it cool. I've been good and now I'm damned tired of being good because you people gave me the belief that I had 53 days left, you hung 53 days in front of my face and then you just took it away. We will try to get to those Netstalker things sooner or later, but that's really Jhoh's job because he wrote all of them.

- 1/13/01 4:25:55 PM

SELL THE HOUSE SELL THE CAR SELL THE KIDS

- 1/13/01 2:28:14 PM

An old alpha HL mod called Day of Defeat just released it's first beta version. And being the giant WW2 fan that I am, I downloaded it. This is my new favorite mod. The M1 is fucking awesome. By the way, ever have that problem where you clean your mouse, and it's just fucking filled with hair and dirt and shit, and so when you finish and you put the ball back in, it just fucks up like a fucking shitbag assfuck? Nevermind then.

- 1/11/01 8:08:17 PM

Ha ha, Otaku Feh makes fun of shitty Sinfest. Good.

- 1/11/01 3:50:30 PM

Because I know B'tren wants this on our site: 01/11/01: Excuse me, can we stop with the multiple reference ... Posted by: (TheGodmother) To my kids?? Thanks. I already went through this once. X- MAN says what he wants and basically "speaks" like an online jerk (because he can), Neptune and Veruca Salt do the same thing because they can. They shoot and run because they can and they don't care. Would they still say the same things to people in real life? Probably, Neptune would, but Veruca wouldn't have the balls to. While all intentions are honorable, if you noticed, I don't participate in threads like this anymore. One, I really don't give a shit anymore, two, I'm not a snitch. I've NEVER written to Mr. Cranky about anyone's handle, including Mickie T. (Richard was the one who initiated the Mickie T complaint to Mr. C, but he did so on his own, but Mickie T actually spammed Mr. Cranky, so he ended up getting tossed on his own). The only good way to handle shit you don't like in here is to avoid it. I don't post here alot anymore, even though I still love talking about movies. Getting caught up in all this troll-spamming nonsense is truly a waste of energy and time. No site is spam-free, and the trade-off with Mr. Cranky's is being able to write pretty freely about different things. I don't have to like what I read, but I have a choice not to read it or I can counter the obnoxious comments (which is rarely effective) or I can ignore them. I choose to ignore. Just for the record, it was X-MAN who made the first initial comment and Neptune Salad who made the subsequent witty comment about the kids needing to be dead, with Veruca of course chiming in that she was null and void from the conversation - the coward that she truly is. I didn't consider it a threat. It just bothered me tremendously to have my family referred to like that. Neptune, Veruca Salt and Chiz have been *jokingly* vicious for a long time and they amuse themselves, but I finally let their viciousness get to me that one time and I regretfully overreacted. Hey, it happens, I'm not immune to everything. I remember Bickle actually arguing with me for getting upset, which ended up infuriating me and that's when I realized the futility of letting any of this bullshit get to me. My skin is pretty thick, but occasionally I slip. There is not enough time in the day to deal with this shit. Why bother. The Internet has afforded a whole faceless, nameless segment of the population to go online and wreak havoc anonymously, with few ramifications. It's a dreamworld for those who lack standard social skills or are just plain sociopathiacal. AND it's supposedly cool to do some of this techie spamming shit. It's a virtual nirvana to throngs of malcontent people, and for techies, it's just a huge playground to show off their *awesome* skills. Mr. Cranky will sort this out. Oh yeah, and I replied, of course. 01/11/01: Goshmother is fucking old. Posted by: creexul@yahoo.com (NeptuneSalad) I thought Goshmother and MAYOROLDGUYDUDELOL were married, because they were both old and dumb, and completely unable to have hot sex anymore, as opposed to, I dunno, us. v3r00c@ definitely wouldn't say anything mean to anyone IN PUBLIC, because everywhere she goes, my cock is metaphorically in her mouth, as she sucks so hard she thinks candy will come out. How wrong she is. And when did Goshmother break down and Bickle had to make fun of her or something? I must've missed that, because that's the only Craxryland post I'd actually want to read. Oh yeah, and Goshmothers kids are dumb.

- 1/11/01 3:28:32 PM

Just yesterday, I was with my mom at the glasses place so she could pick up her new contacts. We waited for about a minute, and I noticed the Entertainment Weekly "2000 recap" issue. I got through a couple pages of skimming when it was already time to go. So I decided to take the mag with me. WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO, YANNO? I'm such an extreme rebel. They can't stop me from taking their magazines! But then mom said "you're not taking that, are you?" I asked if I could get in trouble, and she said "maybe." So I set it on the counter just before leaving. Which was a mistake, because a minute later we both changed our minds and figured they wouldn't really do anything, even if they did care. They would just be somewhat annoyed, at most. But the next morning, I went to Old Man Murray, and found out that they mentioned that very issue, in fact, something that I would no doubt go ahead and tell people about, and then tell them that "Entertainment Weekly is so fucking motherfucking stupid, those fucks." And then I would hilariously jest that they are changing their name to "Trendy Fucking Pussy Weekly." The same magazine that gave Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas a D, but then lauded U2 and LOL!apalooza. EW is fucking stupid. I felt ashamed that the contents page had an oil painting of the Powerpuff Girls (which Jsoh and I haven't even watched in a couple months).

- 1/11/01 6:44:23 AM

About a year or something ago, Jhoh made a newsletter called "The Netstalkers Newsletter." It was really more like another way to blab and make people listen, like this site. He emailed it out to about 50 people, most of which were just retards he wanted to piss off (which worked, he got quite a few angry replies that were laced with bile and motherfucking stupidity). So they will be posted to this site eventually. Not today though, that would require work on my part, and there's just no fucking way I'm gonna do that. I don't even have any weed. Once I get weed again (I had an X-mas supply that went straight into the History Channel and Sven Coop, which I guess wasn't a good idea but on second though yes it was), I'll start writing up more of the Half Life review and start reviewing those singeplayer mods. That HL review is coming along very slowly, but we have not abandoned it. Mp3 of the I dunno: Fuck you I hate you - Something.mp3 Oops, I meant ELO - Don't Bring Me Down.mp3 BROOSH.

- 1/10/01 11:03:32 PM

In the late 60s, a group of computer scientists banded together to single-handedly invent the concept of networking computers together, from the void of nothingness. Risking failure, and the chance of throwing the idea of networking into the garbage if it failed ONCE, they succeeded. 40 years later, all the brainstorming and wild ideas that have been doubted by the massive companies culminates into Jsoh and I quoting "Magic Bus" back and forth.

- 1/10/01 6:02:16 AM

Well now I got my magic bus. Now I got my magic bus. I'll drive to my baby everyday. ^_^ Each time I'll go a different way. GONNA RIDE HER. RIDE HER. -riff-

- 1/10/01 6:01:48 AM

It's a bus-age wonder! IT MOOOOOOOOVES LIKE THUNDER!

- 1/10/01 5:59:22 AM

Ninty five. ;-;

- 1/10/01 5:58:58 AM

I won't take under.

- 1/10/01 5:58:30 AM

Ninty five. :(

- 1/10/01 5:57:30 AM

GIVE ME A HUNDRED.

- 1/10/01 5:54:07 AM

No. :( Too much.

- 1/10/01 5:52:46 AM

Ok, you can have the magic bus. For ONE HUNDRED... English pounds.

- 1/10/01 5:51:39 AM

I don't care how much I pay. I'm gonna drive my bus to my baby each day. AND I'M BUYING IT. I'll buy it. I'll buy it.

- 1/10/01 5:49:03 AM

YOU CAN'T HAVE IT. Can't have it. :(

- 1/10/01 5:47:52 AM

Every day I get in the queue To get on the bus that takes me to you I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile Your house is only another mile Thank you, driver, for getting me here You'll be an inspector, have no fear I don't want to cause no fuss But can I buy your Magic Bus? I don't care how much I pay. Gonna drive my bus to my baby each day. I want it I want it I want it I want it I want it I want it I want it I want it I want it.

- 1/9/01 8:53:06 AM

Jsoh is through with Counter-Strike. SO WHY WAS HE PLAYING IT AGAIN TONIGHT? I went to some stupid e/n site, looking for nude pictures of Violet "Identity Crisis" Something. And guess what else was on this e/n site. A bunch of web cam pages! No, I'm not kidding! I'm totally serious! An e/n site with web cams! Can you fucking imagine that? It's so totally insane and ABSOLUTELY NOT NORMAL. And it's about 10 pages of people looking either WACKY or depressed, playing to the camera to show they're more filled with teenage angst than the next loser. The part that really made me sick was the "MP3 of the Week" section, filled with a bunch of mallcore bullshit (i.e. Korn, Smashing Pumpkins, Dope, Papa Roach, and Limp "Disgrace to Music" Bizkit). And along with that, fucking MESHUGGAH. "Future Breed Machine," even, a fantastic song. And now, I'm ashamed to even like them--lumped together with people who can barely play music. I recommend, for a nice long gut laugh, downloading "Future Breed Machine" and then any given shitty limp bizkit song, and comparing the two. And you'll probably say to yourself, "wow, these limp bizkit guys have absolutely no talent! It's a crime against nature that these embarrassments are popular!" And indeed you will be right. This is why I told Jsoh we shouldn't even bother doing our own variety of the MP3 of the Random Time Period, because then, even though our music would be better, we'd just end up looking like those losers who prefer shitty music over good music. Here we stand, like shadows of great things in the past. Mp3 of the My Music is Better Than Yours: Iron Savior - Brothers (Of the Past).mp3 Mp3 of the Clock: Nevermore - The Death of Passion.mp3 Mp3 of the Baby: Alice Cooper - Billion Dollar Babies.mp3 Mp3 of the Happi Fun Time Bubbling: Alice Cooper - Feed My Frankenstein.mp3 Mp3 of the GRRAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH: Amorphis - Light My Fire.mp3 Mp3 of the Duet: Cannibal Corpse With Tori Amos - Stripped Raped And Strangled.mp3 Mp3 of the Rur: Carcass - Buried Dreams.mp3 Mp3 of the Stone Cold Emotional FlatLIIIIIIIINE: Carcass - Emotional Flatline.mp3 Mp3 of the 4j (of carnality): Carcass - Carnal Forge.mp3 Mp3 of the Totally Fucking Insane Time Changes: Cynic - Thinking Being.mp3 Mp3 of the Speedy Fuck Thrash Metal: Cynic - Cruel Gentility.mp3 Mp3 of the Screamy-fuck Insane Iron Maiden Tribute: Devin Townsend - Irish Maiden.mp3 Mp3 of the Hilarious Title/Bizarre Song: Dying Fetus - Fornication Terrorists.mp3 Mp3 of the Headshot: Ice T - Cop Killer.mp3 Mp3 of the Jackhammer from Hell Thrash Metal about Catholics-SAH: Iced Earth - Disciples Of The Lie.mp3 Mp3 of the Suck My Dick Megan: Iron Maiden - The Number Of The Beast.mp3 Mp3 of the Maiden (of Ironness): Iron Maiden - Aces High.mp3 Iron Maiden - Alexander the Great.mp3 Iron Maiden - Hallowed Be Thy Name.mp3 Iron Maiden - Phantom Of The Opera.mp3 Iron Maiden - Powerslave.mp3 Iron Maiden - Prisoner.mp3 Iron Maiden - Run To The Hills.mp3 Iron Maiden - The Duellists.mp3 Mp3 of Guess Mallcore Loser Didn't Hear This One: Meshuggah - Gods of Rapture.mp3 Mp3 of the Fact that nu-metal Bullshit Can't Compare: Meshuggah - Future Breed Machine.mp3 Mp3 of Nevermore's New Album is Fucking Awesome DUDE: Nevermore - Narcosynthesis.mp3 Mp3 of Nevermore's Old Albums are Good Too: Nevermore - Poison Godmachine.mp3 Mp3 of the Metal Version of Simon and Garfunkel: Nevermore - The Sound Of Silence.mp3 Mp3 of DEAR DEPARTED HE WAS SO DAMN BAD: Overkill - Death Comes Out To Play.mp3 Mp3 of Master of Puppets-era Metallica Never Being This Good: Overkill - E.vil N.ever D.ies.mp3 Mp3 of the Death by Infection: Overkill - Elimination.mp3 Mp3 of the Still Better than Old Metallica: Overkill - I Hate.mp3 Mp3 of the Somewhat Dated: Punky Brüster - Wallet Chain.mp3 Mp3 of the Fact That Even as a Fake Punk Band this is Better than Offspring and Green Day: Punky Bruster - EZ$$.mp3 Mp3 of the 20 Minute Slam on Corporate Music: Punky Brüster - Picture of Myself.mp3 Mp3 of the Firestorm of Awesome Screaming/New Genre--Gay Metal: Rhapsody - Holy Thunderforce.mp3 Mp3 of the DON'T RELY ON NO ONE ELSE, END IT ALL AND: S.O.D. - Kill Yourself.mp3 Mp3 of the Lacerated SKYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOW: Slayer - Raining Blood.mp3 Mp3 of Wondering What the Sport Is: Slayer - War Ensemble.mp3 Mp3 of the Nice Boy Who Wrote His Own Composition: Steve Vai - The Audience Is Listening.mp3 Mp3 of the WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA: Zimmers Hole - This Is Metal.mp3 nuf sed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111112

- 1/8/01 6:21:47 PM

All of my manahoars have been slaughtered. Urg.

- 1/8/01 4:57:46 AM

I just blew a giant salty nut on the tits of some faceless MANAHOAR. And I refused to call it in the morning. And then one of those floating imp people got angry at me. And then he pointed out that YOUR CREATURES ARE DYING. But you know that. Sam Kinison (I think) has proclaimed perhaps the best plan for an early morning, ever. Wake up, take a shower (or not), have a little something to eat. Cereal or something, lots of milk and sugar. Then, get on the subway train. This is if you're in NY. If you arerdsn't, which I am not, then this won't work. Darn. Get on the subway, rub up against a whole lot of females, go back home and jerk off. Then, with that out of your way, you are free to start your day properly. And I dunno about you, but to me that's worth paying for a lifetime supply of subway tokens.

- 1/7/01 3:46:02 PM

MP3 of the KLAX: The Who - Tattoo (from the Live at Leeds album). Oh yeah, and when I say Live at Leeds, I mean Live at Leeds, and NOT Live at Leeds Complete, which is a bootleg so staggeringly fucking bad for the two reasons that 1: the horrible recording quality destroys the band's sound, and 2: you might end up accidentally thinking it's the Live at Leeds REAL FUCKING ALBUM AND END UP WASTING YOUR MONEY ON A SHITTY WORTHLESS BOOTLEG. Let's face it, people, only a fucking loser would buy a bootleg of any band. A bootleg is an excuse for someone who doesn't know better to sink their money into a worthless record by a band they like. If you think you can like a band enough to purchase a shitty sounding unofficial live album, you're lying to yourself, and you need to be slapped. Fuck you, loser. Oh yeah, and if you can't figure out how to make a color logo after reading my tutorial, then S U C K M Y D I C K

- 1/7/01 3:36:49 PM

SHARE YOUR EPIPHANY. Mp3 of the Lol: The Who - Quadrophenia - The Rock.mp3 There aren't enough epiphanies in music, really. Not like I blame them, because having one or making one up isn't easy. I would like to think that I didn't use my epiphany escaping from FFAG a month before my brother. As far as I know, you only get one per lifetime, and I would hate to think I wasted mine on some gay newsgroup that loved fanfics and anime. Also, I'm a bit young to use my epiphany. I would prefer that if I have a real one, I would be a little older. Mp3 of the Rofl: Beatles - Get Back.mp3

- 1/7/01 3:27:50 PM

Jhoh and Jsoh will not be making anymore updates, because we died. Sometime a few nights ago, they were in an car accident and died. I know, we have updates after that point. We were somehow able to make those updates even though we were dead. They will go down as legends, for some inexplicable reason. Lol. :(

- 1/7/01 3:12:20 AM

SMILINJ. Anyway, here's what Jsoh had to tell everyone at the CS Nation comment boards. Forget the fact that Siege was a terrible map that could never truly be completed, or the fact that n0th1ng is a hilariously stupid trendy goth name, or even the fact that docks is no longer supported by the CS team. "N0th1ng" is either in hell or is vanquished. And I would never have it any other way. That's what people who spoil their chance at life deserve. And the facts show that "nothing" has squandered his life gift time and time again. His reward for killing himself is that outside of these boards, he will be remembered as he really was: a pathetic loser who was simply weeded out by mother nature. We are talking the bottom of the evolutionary ladder here. And I detest nothing more than that fucking gay map Siege. Perhaps in the afterlife, Satan personally stuck a "Rules of Map Flow" encyclopedia up his ass for eternity. That thought pleases me.

- 1/7/01 2:42:49 AM

Alexander the (motherfucking) Grape struck candy into the hearts of men. It bears repeating. Oh yeah, and Clanpages changed their policy. They've gone pay-optional. You can still be hosted for free, but you can't have files larger than 100K, and you can't use FTP and a bunch of other stuff. So unless we eventually pay the STAGGERINGLY BACK-BREAKING COST OF $12 A YEAR, this site will be pretty crippled. I mean, most of the files we really use aren't larger than 100K. But there are some. I'm wondering if our massive news pages or silly cleeky AIM chat logs (which have to be about 300K each) will get deleted, or if they'll stay because they're HTML. Either way, we should've been able to pay for the site--it's not like $12 for the fucking year should be something that you even need to ask for. You should just be able to say "I need $12 for this year for something," and then just get it. At least if you're not poor. And our family isn't. But Jsoh and I, we're prisoners in a 10 by 7 room. Locked in a suburban jail, "security" alarms put on the doors of a house in a totally crimeless neighborhood. A "watchdog" that wastes money when we look in the cabinets and see a hundred cans of tomato and chicken noodle soup that no one will eat, instead of real food.

- 1/6/01 1:03:57 AM

Yet again, I am tired of CS. And I think it's for good this time. Because I gotta admit, the game's really lacking in the gameplay variaty department. When they kept making new betas, that was the only variaty in the game. And what other gameplay options does that leave you with? A group of hostages that the CTs can never even touch, a bunch of camping spots, and a whole FUCKTON of time spent dead, talking about how awesome the reaslitic weapons are. I'm fucking tired of it, and I won't play it for a long fucking time. And I'm getting tired of the Sven Coop servers. All they do is play the same 15 maps, over and fucking over. What's the problem with putting every SC map into the rotation? I played Science and Industry. Man, that's really easy to monopolize. If one teammate slacks, you end up losing all your scientists. Generally, it's been a bad couple days. Ever since I ran out of my Xmas supply of weed. I'd like to say that we're working on that Half Life review, but we're not. However, when it's done it'll be pretty long.

- 1/5/01 5:25:15 PM

I put our collection of Metallica reviews into the reviews section. Mainly, it covers their later, more sellouty years. But instead of attacking them just because of that whole Napster thing (which is certainly enough of a reason), we attack them because Metallica, at the time they released Load, just ceased to be talented. Metallica's lack of talent doesn't seem to get mentioned enough these days. It's a good thing we're around to pick up the slack. Oh yeah, and even Master of Puppets-era Metallica wasn't as good as Overkill.

- 1/3/01 8:12:30 PM

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Bistro/5445/ Metallica, who're they? They're probably not as good as Overkill. As a matter of fact, they're DEFINITLY not as good as Overkill.

- 1/2/01 6:50:59 PM

Your creatures are under attack! ^_^ Wow, my creatures are under attack, sounds fun! Especially the way that guy says it. Yay, my creatures are under attack :)! It sounds lighthearted and fun. And then the voice relays information about the fact that my creatures are receiving fatal damage, by saying "Your creatures are DYING. >:(" It's the way he says it, as if I sentenced them to death, and laughed at them. Hey helpful Sacrifice fairy, FUCK YOU. YOUR CRETATTIRWS ARE SDYING AND YROU DONT FUCKIIGN CRAE!!!!!!!!!

- 1/2/01 1:23:26 PM

FUCK YOU JSOH

- 1/2/01 1:14:04 PM

Court shows are bad, dude. Lol. :( Dude, Metallica like totally sold out or something. Lol. ;-; FUCK THIS SHIT, PEOPLE ARE DYING, AND YOU DONT CARE! You don't fucking care! Seriously, court shows are extremely and totally trendy. So exphremphly trenphy that phfucking animal phlanet has two phfucking ASS GODDAMN PHLPLHPLHPLHPHLPHLLHPHPHL. Planet Half Life, it sucks. O yea, the new Diablo 2 patch totally changes the way the game is played.

- 1/1/01 4:10:45 AM

HAPPY NEW YEARS

- 1/1/01 2:22:23 AM

Fucking FINALLY. I've finished the gallery. All the pictures and pages have been uploaded and fixed in their brand new directory, now with a handy index page that links to each individual gallery page (A NEW FEATURE FOR YOU, THE CLANSRGAY READER!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111114444444). All in time for the New Years season! Not only did I finish doing that, but I also cleared ALL 100 gallery pages and all 500-or-so gallery pictures out of our old ClansRGay root directory. The problem with that being that YOU CAN ONLY DELETE FILES ONE AT A TIME. There's still no FTP access, so I had to push a button to delete a file THROUGH A WEB PAGE. Now my hands are all greasy and my eyes are white-shocked. Now it's time to drink the last of that alcohol stuff in the fridge that moom doesn't want me to touch or even look at. After drinking a thimble, I'll be drunk enough to rape a piece of paper--TO DEATH. EVIL NYYYEEVAAAA DDYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEESSSSS