- Friday, June 30, 2000 20:49

Game sites are still writing and posting reviews of Counter-Strike. How many fucking reviews do we need? Well, here's mine: Counter-Strike is good. Now all I need is an interview with Gooseman or CliffIEY.

- Thursday, June 29, 2000 04:52

New Half-Life patch, again. Much smaller this time, but it fixes all those important bugs in TFC. Horay.

- This page was last updated on Wednesday, June 28, 2000.

I watched a few nanoseconds of the Monkee's VH1 movie. "Movies That Rock." I guess they're supposed to be making some kind of hilarious joke at the expense of their credibility. Anyway: If you ever needed more proof that women should not be allowed to purchase or even listen to or write music, Jimi Hendrix gets booed off the stage at a Monkees show. For some reason, he actually agreed to OPEN for the Monkees. Life is weird. And these little whores boo him off the stage so they can hear the Monkees more quickly. Hey, I wrote my own Monkees song. Wanna hear it here it goes... "I love you, yea yea yea I love you, yea yea yea I love you , yea yea yea With a love like that, you know I can't be bad" Repeat for about 2 hours. And then you can tell Def Leppard where to stick it, because a large female audience means a shitty audience. A hip audience is an all male audience. A proven fact, there can be no denying it.

- Wednesday, June 28, 2000 05:34

Whiggers sell.

- Wednesday, June 28, 2000 (forgot the timestamp)

The "backwards hat" trend is really the biggest embarrassment to white people (among countless other reasons). It goes to show that, when it comes to emulating popular music in order to appear cool, they pick the dumbest idea: trying to look and act like black people. It's dumb because it just DOES NOT FUCKING WORK with white people. We are uptight people raised by uptight people raised by uptight people, all the way from the dark ages just a bunch of people raised on toil and misery. They had to actually try to invent some way of having fun, and then failing. And now we're out of the dark ages, and all we had was a bunch of violins for fun. Wait. OH NO I THINK I OVERDOSED ON MARAWANA SOMEONE PLEASE CALL ME AN AMBULANCE Just kidding people. I'm perfectly sober. Really. Okay, I'm not. I ate food. ;_; By the way, the real reason why I use that crying ;_; emote thing all the time is because I think it is actually the most idiotic thing ever conceived of by a human being. It is so insanely stupid that it should be cherished, and not forgotten (because God forbid we ever make the same mistake again).

- Tuesday, June 27, 2000 01:02

I've been wondering for a while now why exactly is it that I think South Park is just a fucking dumb show for fucking dumb people. Maybe it was personal reasons, knowing people I hated who loved the show. But that didn't really fit, because I knew those people back when I liked them, and still thought the show was really no good, or at least not BRILLIANT as they claimed it was (it's brilliant if you're over 20 and think that Blue's Clues is a really cool). And really, I shouldn't say the show sucked, or sucks. Because that's not accurate. The show is garbage. Saying it sucks is like saying that I think the show sucks, because I really don't think the show sucks, I know that the show is fucking stupid. At first I thought South Park was going to be really good, actually, but after seeing the first episode I found out that it was really just a gimmick show, all flash and no substance, nothing but a bunch of stuff thrown into each episode in order to be cool and SO BIZARRE AND WACKY FUN FUN. The only reason why it's topical and outrageous is so it can seem SO TWISTED AND FUNNI LOL DUDE, when really it takes absolutely no balls or talent to make a cartoon that's marketed to adults and for adults where farting is a major plot point--even if you make it fire, it's really just the same old gag. There's absolutely nothing brilliant or genius about that, or about South Park at all. They can say that South Park is just going for the good old fashioned cheap humor, but when you think about how repetative it is, it really doesn't do it that well. The show itself is nothing more than a formula. And even others have to admit now that the formula is just tired. I finally realized the real reason why South Park is crap while I was watching Powerpuff Girls. If you've ever seen that show, you can see that it's even more violent than South Park and even more satirical, but the catch is that makes it really awesome is that it's marketed towards kids. Now that's balls. Same for Rocko's Modern Life, a show that's for kids really, but has some strong innuendo and truly bizarre themes. South Park is just a sellout show that's only joke is a simplistic formula where they try to be as outlandish and controversial as possible, and when your show is just a formula, it's only as funny as the jokes are. No balls at all--just a half hour of cheap tired jokes and catch phrases. And when it comes to that, the show really falls flat. Maybe a few actually funny jokes throughout the show, the rest are completely predictable--and if you don't believe me, try to guess really hard as to what's going to happen next, because usually I can. And then if things seem way too predictable, they just make up something that doesn't make sense in order to advance the plot. If that's really all it takes, well hell, I could do that. I seriously saw quite a few episodes of South Park where I thought "you know, I could write this shit easily." Powerpuff Girls is really a work of art, especially when compared to simple trash formulated merely to seem shocking instead of actually be shocking. Some people hail South Park as having a cool look because of the cardboard animation, when really it was originally just so they wouldn't have to spend money on making it (until the show sold and they started making it with computers). The art in Powerpuff Girls is REALLY unique, though, instead of pretending to be, due to the totally absurd look of the girls themselves. The drawing in PPG itself is satirical, where the massive eyes are parodies of the Sailor Moon and anime-type huge eyes along with their extremely high-pitched voices, ala typical anime females. Powerpuffs Girls is genius. Rocko's Modern Life is genius. South Park is just a sellout show for sellout trendy hipster pussy mindsets. There is one good thing about South Park, though. It's the ultimate show for those trendy hipsters who want to seem on the edge without actually having to be anywhere near any sort of edge. But still, the unavoidable fact remains. South Park just isn't funny.

- Saturday, June 24, 2000 22:19

What really influenced our Half-Life wav epic was a massive four minute mp3 that was posted on the Half-Life wav pool. Here. I especially love it when Vox starts talking about touching alien asses and getting "great hot head from men" for no reason. Enjoy! ^_^

- Saturday, June 24, 2000 19:20

I got bored today and decided to make yet another new Adventures of Kitty and Flower, episode three. I also updated the Creexul page with both new episodes now.

- Friday, June 23, 2000 14:50

You know, Clanpages/Clanhappy really is gracious to be hosting this site. I thank them. Especially with the nice deal of making it look more like our own domain name a bit more.

- Friday, June 23, 2000 14:47

Okay, new Adventures of Kitty and Flower. With a new Flash intro of course. This one seems a little pushed off to the bottom-side. That's because I had to reinstall Flash again and I forgot how to make the work space smaller until after the movie was made. Bleea. And we did indeed get Das Boot a couple days ago. And I decided to just put a time up on the timestamp there. Now I can update this about twenty times in one day if I want to. And I just woke up.

- Wednesday, June 21, 2000 - later

If only Rome had but one neck. :(

- Wednesday, June 21, 2000

It was I who put all those wavs into our main folder! And that "scisong" one is indeed a stupid limp bizkit (not deserving of caps) song, and it just has the sci repeating "shut up" every time fred "whigger corporate sellout whore" durst says "shut da fuk up DUDE." Or something. I also hope we can get Das Boot on DVD today. It's a classic! DEPTH CHARGES. And one last thing. I got my first piece of hate mail. It's not really special though. Just some guy who claimed that I talked to them before, asking me "WUT DA FUK IS UR PROBLEUM DUDE????" except with the spelling and grammar fixed (I bet that was a two-fisted job) in order to make it appear more presentable and credible, which it doesn't. He said I'm trying to get EVERYONE to hate me with my site. Strange how he thinks he knows more about my motives than I do. I notice lots of people in clans when I play don't really say anything about the tag. They get along fine with it, most of the time. Mostly because they know better than to get pissed off at the fact that they can't understand irony of someone having a clan tag in their name that says "ClansRGay." Some people get pissed off though. I'M AN EVIL TROLL ;-;

- This page was last updated on Tuesday, June 20, 2000.

For as much as we still hate the PHL wav pool, I have to admit that their latest update wasn't that bad. But since we obviously can't trust them anymore, here's a rundown of the wavs I found on our main folder: Barneyvsgman Not bad at all, however this one was a bit overlong. Still, the wav usage and editing were top notch. The wav itself still ends a little blandly, but its not a bad 2 minute listen. hgrunt_got_back As opposed to that last wav, this one's only about 11 seconds. Which is too bad, because it features a rapping hgrunt. As cheesy as that sounds, I thought it was pretty damn cool. Plus, anyone who's used the hgrunts in wavs knows how hard it is to make everything they say sound quick. Same goes for the vox. But this guy did a good job. killingscientistsagain Gordon Freeman goes on a well executed rampage. The use of HUD sounds in the wav was pretty cool, along with the fading in sound of an egon. It all ends with him grenading a barney. Kinda bland at that point, but still a very good wav. psycho_sci Neat. A sci on a screaming rampage, killing hgrunts. I mean, there's a bit of a story behind that, but the best part is obviously the parts were the sci scream wavs are mixed with hit effects and hgrunt pain wavs. Nice. odabm I had no idea what the fuck was going on. This wav wasn't that great. It's someone shooting as a sci, with loud musical interludes inbetween weapons firing. It really sounds shitty when the music is broken up by a sci yelling or a crossbow firing. Car_Problems If the person who made this had actually worked on it, this one could have been neat, but it's just dumb the way it is now. It's basically a car alarm going off with about 28 seconds of hgrunt gunfire. Skip this one. voxtrick Short and stupid. A sci and a barney hear an agrunt around a corner so they sneak up only to find that vox had tricked them. Ahaha. So then the author lifts DIRECTLY from a better wav and had the barney fire a rocket at vox as vox says "o shit." ye_scisong.2gether A sci DJs some shitty bizkit rap song. It's too bad these reviews had to end on a bad note like this. I'm gonna try to buy Das Boot on DVD later today. And then I will smoke illegal pot products and snack on a TON of fucking food items.

- Tuesday, June 20, 2000

I just brushed my teeth so hard that I threw up.

- This page was last updated on Monday, June 19, 2000.

Yes, that AC/DC BTM. It was good. I don't think it needs to be said in general, but for an AC/DC fan it did present some cool things I didn't see before/didn't know about. Like the old Let There Be Rock video with Bon in the robes. That was awesome. It was generally a better BTM episode than the Poison ep. But that goes without saying. I personally think it should have been a Legends episode, or maybe a 90 minute BTM special. But o well. In other news, I played the Deus Ex demo, and it was pretty awesome. I spent most of my time in the ladies bathroom, being a PLAYA. And then I got pepper sprayed. That was fun. Then I hacked into Gunther's email and checked out his silly message about wanting a gun implanted in his head. HAHA. So now he's gonna have a gun planted inside his head, which can go off whenever he thinks about wanting to shoot someone. Extra news, that Counter-Life mod looks awesome. Too bad that PlanetLifePortion won't dare put up any news about it. Because of course, they hate CS now for getting their own domain. Which just shows how much PHL sucks. Motorhead is awesome. You would think the Grammys would nominate them for an awesome double live album, Everything Louder Than Everyone Else. Instead, Motorhead were nominated for their joke cover of Enter Selloutman. FUCK THE GRAMMYS. Please excuse all spelling errors.

- Monday, June 19, 2000

I'm leaving it to Jsoh to cover the AC/DC Behind the Music that aired yesterday (we watched the "sneak preview" airing of it, at 11 AM). I'll just say this: it's funny how the other BTMs always have stories of the drinking getting so out of control that someone dies or loses limb in a car accident or some such. When Malcolm was having drinking problems, he just asked to have someone fill in for him for a while, and then he sobered up. Now that really is in control. I can imagine that sobering up while on tour could probably kill you. Malc took the chance though, and pulled it off fast and easy and then went back to the band. I also didn't know that the fans being killed at their concert was so rough on them--I never heard about it before actually. But then especially afterwards with that whole thing about the newspapers after having the news of the fans being killed, and saying that the band played on (to avoid further chaos), meanwhile showing a smiling picture of Brian. Brian's comments on that and Tipper Gore were absolutely fucking perfect, by the way. That BTM was the best one ever, because of that.

- Sunday, June 18, 2000

http://www.geocities.com/metroid74/cl.htm How totally fucking awesome.

- Saturday, June 17, 2000

Okay, I updated the gallery, with about seven more pages worth of pictures. Mainly PICTURES OF TEXT. But go ahead and check it out. In the gallery. GO TO THE GALLERY. Go there. I'm not going to even give you a link to it. You have to find it yourself, amid the mysterious and happi fun filled maze that is this index.html page at http://clansrgay.clanpages.com.

- Saturday, June 17, 2000

http://www.insanegamers.com/helpmegetlaid/ He may be another Eminem/whigger look-alike, but I think the concept of him getting 1,000,000 hits to his site and therefore being obligated to get sex from an attractive female carbon unit is FUNNY.

- This page was last updated on Friday, June 16, 2000.

I make it no secret that I am an AC/DC fan. I happen to be proud of all of their releases. Anwyay... Recently we were forced to reinstall Windows. In doing so, we accedentally deleted a fairly important file which happened to contain all of my wonderful lyrics quotes that I used for my sig file. So after that happened, along with the fact that I couldn't get any of my old mails or posted messages back into OE, I decided to stay away from NGs for awhile. Well recently, I resubbed to my most visted newsgroups: alt.music.rush and alt.rock-n-roll.acdc. Big mistake. One of the reasons I stayed away for that period of time was because I couldn't stand reading either NG. The Rush NG had become totally sterile, and the AC/DC NG was filled with morons spamming the group with lame ass messeges about how California is so cool. You make a post about Arizona Bay and you get one of the dumbest posts you have ever seen, in reply. Which brings another issue: Too many women are too proud of being women. Guess what, BEING A FEMINIST MEANS THAT ALL YOU DO IS ACT LIKE A MAN. Is this an accomplishment? No, it's not. If being a woman is so fucking special, then does that mean men are just mediocre? That would be a strong possibilty if it weren't for a fact that most female "rockers" suck total ass. Most, not all. But most happens to be about 99%. I haven't heard any female versions of Quad. I'm not going to. No one is ever going to.

- Friday, June 16, 2000

Uh oh, did Jsoh ruin my good internet name again? THAT CRAZY JSOH ^_^

- This page was last updated on Friday, June 16, 2000.

helo i m jsoh lol i am not a well spelr like mey brthor i am out to ruin jhohohos good internet name with mas bynary psosts threr i riund his gowd name on the inteaneet lololoololloloololooooolo

- Friday, June 16, 2000

Today we at ClansRGay (we = my brother and I, and no one else really) dedicate this news update to the wonderful Half-Life contact grenade. So many cheers it has brought after it's graceful arc through the air, landing square in the face of some soldier, tearing his skull from his face and sending it splattering onto the wall behind him. Or perhaps even disintegrating a group of silly headcrabs, all ready to attack one second, and ashes the next. Mayhaps even an unfortunate scientist or Barney who was in range at the time you "accidentally" hit the alternate fire button, reducing him to flying ribbons of pitch red BLOOD AND ENTRAILS. The contact grenade loves you too. TEE HEE ^_^

- Wednesday, June 14, 2000 - just so I can get this pic out of the way

I do love that font.

- Wednesday, June 14, 2000 - later, after a game of CS

I changed my mind about de_dust. It's awesome now! I just got done playing a 20 person server, with teams perfectly even, and as a terrorist, we charged our team right through the CTs, continuously raping them and even planting the bomb a few times. So now I'm perfectly fine being a gargantuan hypocrite and saying now that the entire map is spent with the Ts raping the CTs instead of the other way around, I love de_dust! Okay, I kid. They changed the map some so the terrorists have more cover in their area, and the netcode and smoke bombs let the terrorists do more (the smoke bombs are perfect for getting through that first corridor). And it wasn't really a total rape fest. The CTs won about five or six times out of the T's 12 or so. So now, de_dust is a GREAT constant-rape rush-only map. That is the key now, the Ts must rush. Except now, rushing works, as long as you are properly stocked. Really! I'm not a huge hypocrite or anything! The new netcode really does help my brother and I both get many more kills now. And I barely see people at the end of a map with zero kills, like I used to pre-patch. Another thing, I got a new batch of pictures now, and I should be updating the gallery soon.

- Wednesday, June 14, 2000

It's much easier to write for this site when I pretend that people read it. I'd like to meet someone who DOESN'T take their fun seriously! ^_^

- Monday, June 12, 2000 - to fill in for the day or two of updating that I missed

The ending to Fight Club didn't surprise me as much as it surprised other people I know. Because! Before there was Jack and Tyler. Oh yeah, I bought the DVD of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Fantastic. HAPPI BIRTHDAY, JIM GOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^______________^ TEE HEE

- Monday, June 12, 2000

I just remembered something. There was this one time some crackery white guy was at the customer service desk threatening to "go DMX all up in dis yo." Or some queerness. And he was actually older than 10 (he was twice that, in fact, I'm guessing). He was probably "all mad yo" because he got caught stealing bottles from the bottle machine room or some shit. Whiggers are dumb. Goddamn, whiggers are the most annoying and idiotic trendy trend these days. I can't go outside without coming within a hundred yards of some 14 year old with a backwards hat and puffy khakis worn around his ankles with ten feet of wallet chain dragging behind him being trampled by his $200 basketball shoes, asking me "yo, y'all's bottle machines ain't all's workin's, WUDUP WIT DAT???????????????????????/////" Yes, even with the slashes. His brain was so overworked by asking a question that hard that he ended up replacing several of the question marks with slashes, WHILE TALKING. Isn't that weird?

- Sunday, June 11, 2000 - later

http://www.filmthreat.com/Features.asp?File=FeaturesOne.asp&Id=159 Fantastic. Another thing, this AIM log should be enshrined. Ragefan20.htm It is like a beautiful work of art that brings tears to the eye in it's masterfullness. Especially with Jsoh's comments. It's beautiful. Oh yeah, another thing: what a dumb cunt.

- Sunday, June 11, 2000

The roses in the window box have tilted to one side. Everything about this house was born to grow and DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE RUH -go right into a motherfucking screaming ass fast fucking solo that is faster than a rocketship straight out of fucking ass motherfucking damn ass screaming HELL-

- Friday, June 09, 2000

The patch is buggy. I'm going to attempt to take a long vacation from updating this. Even with the bugs and people on your team looking like they're on the other team, the netcode is better than I expected, and I had more fun playing and watching the game than I ever did. I also found out that after a few maps, the problems go away. So the game is still playable. I'm downloading the Counter-Strike patch now (full install, just so nothing screwy happens). That might turn out better. A few minutes, I was disappointed that TFC is sort of unplayable. But still I'm happy with what's out there. I just wish they could fix it. Will it be fixed soon? Who can say?

- Thursday, June 08, 2000 - afternoon

New Half-Life patch is out. Now I can rest.

- Thursday, June 08, 2000 - a half hour after midnight

Just saw at Planet Half-Life the reason for the total news blackout about the new patch for the past, oh, ONE DAY, was because indeed the next thing you'd hear from Valve is that the patch is done. And it is, it'll be released tomorrow. Not that anyone who reads this site will care, since you can always go to twenty other sources before reading it here. However, I do need my obligatory orgasmic ravings so I can get it all properly vented and ready my mind and body for the obligatory orgasmic ravings AFTER I install and play with the new patch and CS and Firearms betas tomorrow. WLAGHKLAIOBPHAWOIBHOAIJ;LJOIRWBHAOIBAHOIHBEWOAIHBOIEWOAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm cumming. Oh yeah, and I bought Fight Club on DVD, the two-disc set. Spectacular, and worth ten times its cost. Another thing, the petition site is hilarious, because you can go to their guestbook, which they use as the petition, just has a ton of people blasting the site owners about how fucking stupid they are. Looks like that petition didn't work! Might want to actually try to become older than 12 before you try to express your opinions again, LOSERS.

- Wednesday, June 07, 2000

Eugh, my head. Dear God, what did I do last night? Oh yeah, I went on for hours worth of read-time about the Half-Life patch and video games and things I hated. My head hurts. ALL I WANT IS MY MOMMY. Ah! I just now found out that someone at Planet Half-Life was also so fed up with the bitching about the new patch not being released that he wrote an editorial about it (it must be really obvious if PHL is jumping on it, HA HA). Not only does he mention that, I also found out in the editorial that there's someone out there who got a leaked version of the patch, and suddenly wants to put together a petition to have Valve undo everything they changed in the new patch because they don't like the scoreboard anymore, and they can't shoot people through walls with the Gauss gun. Things like this always happen, though. There's always that huge amount of people who are crying their eyes out with the new release of Counter-Strike, and then after a couple weeks you don't hear a thing about how "the new beta sucks." Eventually people learn to live without whatever absurd expectations they have. Eventually, all the whining will disappear, and the stupid petition site and their faggy autoplaying MIDI will be gone forever, without a memory of them left behind. Everyone will think back to the patch being released, and either have fond memories of it, or would've died by then by total brain failure. Of course, one could say that technically, I'm a whiner, because I'm whining about the whining. They would be wrong, of course. It's complaining about the whining--and it's for a good cause. The original whining isn't, therefore it's a bad thing. Anyone who would say that I'm the whiner obviously doesn't know how to think, and it would be time for the government to step in and have those people shut down. PERMANENTLY. The guy who runs that shitty petition site with the trendy name in the URL and autoplaying MIDI will probably die of SIDS by the time the patch is released. And I am just here, doing my job of capturing the mindset of the Half-Life community on the edge of a massive event: a patch that will drastically change the game for all online players. I'm so proud of myself.

- Tuesday, June 06, 2000 - a couple seconds after uploading the previous news item

I just wanted to chime in and say that it's really not my fault that all these updates are so fucking extensive. They just come out that way. Oh yeah, and I already changed my mind, I'll upload the latest version of the JT conversation, as soon as I get finished with it... in about ten hours. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND DOWNLOADING A 10 MEG HTML FILE.

- Tuesday, June 06, 2000 - breaking news!

News update directly from Valve: they've cancelled the new Half-Life patch. They're not going to release Half-Life patches anymore. In fact, they're going to stop selling Half-Life in the stores, and recall all sold copies. Just kidding, you FUCKS. I read a message board over at some Half-Life site (Half-Life Express, I think), and people were totally enraged at Valve delaying the patch by one single day. They were literally out of their minds with rage. One guy was screaming with extreme exclamation points about how everyone should boycott Half-Life and go play every single other first person shooter game he could think of. People were enraged that, as they put it, Valve built up so much hype about the new patch and then delayed it. First, Valve didn't build up hype. They presented the facts about the new patch: that you can make mods with the new SDK that will allow a bunch of new stuff, VGUIs in-game, and improved netcode. I didn't hear Valve saying "THE NEW NETCODE IS GOING TO MAKE QUAKE 3 AND UT SEEM LIKE PLAYING ON A 14.4 IN COMPARISON." I heard a bunch of shitty low-standard sites out there saying that. The only real people who raised the expectations and got people out of their minds waiting for this patch was THE PUBLIC. It was the average moron out there who's been driving up the hype and anticipation for the patch, and now that they have to delay it in order to not put out a substandard product (which everyone is used to now, judging on the average quality of most gaming sites out there now), the normal loser who COULDN'T get a chance to beta test the patch is driving themselves insane. Now granted, I've been overly eagerly anticipating this patch, and extremely disappointed when it was delayed. But I didn't get pissed off at anyone and blaming HURF. Really, all I should be saying is that "anyone who got overly upset about the delay is obviously a fucking loser moron." And I will be correct again, as always! Oh yeah, and "Two Minutes to Midnight" is from Powerslave, NOT Number of the Beast. I can't remember which album I was listening to at the time anyway. FUCK. Here's an AIM log about it, which is really the short version of the conversation (currently I'm still talking to him, so the AIM log isn't yet complete, and I'm not ever going to update it with the full version, EVER... maybe). JTNummuroftheSlave.htm I'm not a number, I'm a free MOTHERFUCKING man. :( I also think that using italics and bold will make things funnier! I also think that if I point that out, I'll give myself credibility, when in actuality I won't. I'll only give myself credibility if I say "OH YEAH, TEAM FORTRESS CLASSIC SUCKS, BECAUSE THE MEDIC DOESN'T HAVE AN AXE UNLIKE THE SUPERIOR ORIGINAL QUAKE TEAM FOTRESS." And add in a bunch of references to people bashing their cocks against women's faces until their skulls cave in and they bury them under six feet of gooey MANCHEESE NUT STEAK or some idiotic shit, ala Voodoo Extreme (which is really the only pull Voodoo Extreme can come up with, because God knows that aside from that, there's really nothing else original on the site). That's how I would really get some huge respect in the gaming community, by acting like a white FUNNI FUNNI PIMP MASTA guy. In other words, acting like another whigger. That's what the video game community, like the MTV watching community, really deeply loves. Well, that does it, it's back to non-stop Clans Are Gay full-time negativity. FUCK GAMES.

- Tuesday, June 06, 2000

Patch delayed again, allgedly coming out today. Do you see a pattern? By the way, speaking of patterns, here's something completely unrelated to what I was talking about (just like the rest of my news updates as of late): Iron Maiden's next album is going to be called "WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." As in "LIIIIIIIIIVE TOOOOOOOOO FLYYYYYYYYYYY, FLYYYYYY TOOOOO LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE, AAAAAAAAAA-CEEEEEEEEEEEES HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oh yeah, something else. I'm a firm believer of (along with "logic") the concept that most anime sucks. That goes for things influenced by anime. Now we've had a lot of negativity here in the news on this site--just look at the title--but saying that "most anime sucks" would actually imply that there's some good anime out there. IS THAT CRAZY OR WHAT? LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE TOOOOOOOO--oops, I mean, there is indeed good anime out there. Bubblegum Crisis is perfect for those nights when you have nothing to do, or those days that you have nothing to do. I say anyone who wants to take a rainy day off work and watch Bubblegum Crisis episodes is okay by me. Devin Townsend is also very interested in Japan, as you can see by the liner notes and such of City (by Strapping Young Lad, go look it up and BUY IT). TWO! MINUTES! TO MIIIIIIIIIIIDNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiii.... I. I'm actually listening to this album (Number of the Beast) while writing this. So I apologize for any outbursts of screamingly screamy vocals. Anyway, I came across another thing that's obviously very influenced by anime and Japanese culture through the links at that awful Sinfest comic that I linked to a few days ago. It's called "The Thin H Line," the H standing for hentai, which means "pervert" in Japan (or so I hear), but over here it really means anime-based porn. I know these things because I, myself, actually was a Japanabe for a short time, about a couple years ago. Anyway! Digression. TWO! Sorry. "Pervert" descibes this comic, due to high nudity content, but it's not like some Playboy comic or anything (well, maybe the first few strips). All I can really say is that about a quarter of the way into the comics, it starts getting really good, but you really need to read the first quarter beforehand. It has a very graphic sense of humor, but I thought it was really worth it. I really don't find much funny, and when it comes to funny, my standards are HIGH. I don't have opinions, by the way, I only have FACTS, and the fact is that anime sucks and THL is funny, while South Park is the total fucking opposite of funny. Another fact is that I'm always right. Just letting you know! ^_^ Like anime, the characters are mostly Japanese and the artwork is anime-ey. Like anime, what seem like bit characters or single-appearance characters turn into full-fledged main characters in later episodes or what have you. And unlike normal anime, this comic strip doesn't suddenly start taking its characters WAY WAY TOO FUCKING SERIOUSLY, and adding serious love relationships and a bunch of stupid sappy shit like that, which ends up completely ruining the series all together. In fact, this strip keeps a dark outlook on love, sex, and relationship all throughout. Now it sounds like I'm making it sound really general, but I don't want to give out anything away just in case you really do end up reading all of it and enjoying all of it. THE THIN H LINE, GO READ IT. Your fuck is shit, dickass. :( They better come out with that Half-Life patch today. Jsoh got so frustrated that he actually downloaded Quake 3! THAT'S JUST HOW FUCKING IMPATIENT HE IS. THAT'S PRETTY FUCKING IMPATIENT, BECAUSE QUAKE 3 IS THE WORST GAME IN THE WORLD NEXT TO DAIKATANA. Oh yeah, remind me to write up my own personal terrible review of the Daikatana demo. Wait, I'll just do it now: I was expecting, at the very least, some very simplistic shooting action that didn't involve much thought but at least had SOME action to it. That was my expectation, and my standards are usually quite low anyway (if I'm even listening to a good song while playing the game, I'll say the game is good because I am a Goddamn motherfucking moron fuck). Anyway, I had low expectations and standards, all I wanted was some simple shooting and action, and I'd feel just fine with Daikatana, and maybe even give it a good mark. I wanted very little from this game, and I'd be happy with the littlest bit of enjoyment from it. MY EXPECTATIONS WERE NOT MET. All I did was punch a few frogs and bugs while crawling around a dark green swamp for an hour. What a waste of hard drive space. Oh yeah, I kid about Q3 being bad, it's OKAY. The mods look cool. I'm almost thinking about buying it in fact because of the mods that are coming out for it.

- Monday, June 05, 2000

I'm a very firm believer in the power of logic. New Half-Life patch is supposed to come out today!

- Sunday, June 04, 2000 - BLBHWLHBLW

The apocalypse has dawned. Is it just me, or do people actually take that final step to emotional and intellectual lockdown and shun thought these days? The answer is IT ISN'T JUST ME, FUCK PEOPLE, THEY ARE MORONS. No one's thinking for themselves, they just have everyone else do the thinking for them. The government, the media, their friends and family. I believe that my friends and family exist only so I can put my own thoughts and opinions in perspective by seeing if I can disagree with them. But that's me. However, I also never reject an idea without giving it thought. Every idea deserves thought, and I don't hide from any concept. I used to have friends who did that shit. I spend my free time harassing and making fun of them, now. They deserve it. There's no reason to be afraid of thought, and if you are, you need your third eye crowbarred open, and need to be taught how to think for themselves. Sometimes you can't leave a person to deal with personal discresion. We're so used to having other people make the choices for us that we can't even think anymore, and we get used to having the higher powers leading us around. Fuck you, Leareth. You are a MORON. We shouldn't be listening to people who can't even put together a coherant sentence. There are plenty of them. Granted, mainly I'm talking about people on the internet, but those people do exist away from their computers, and if they can't put together thoughts on a keyboard that can at least make sense, they shouldn't be allowed the privalage of thinking. We should just have them put into tanks and soaked for a year, or just have them thrown into a big pool of lava. And then killed. The only way I can think of to solve this, myself, is to just get the hell away from these people. People walking up to my door trying to sell me something I don't want, and them admitting that they're only trying to sell it so they can get this "kick ass" vacation deal. My solution to that is to hide in my room and pretend I'm asleep. Or if, by chance, a telemarketer will call, I nip that by NEVER ANSWERING MY PHONE. No one has to call me anyway. We don't have this phone line so we can TALK TO PEOPLE. I could finally escape from all those people I would present a concept to who would afterwards ignore it and go "wow, lot of words there," and then have them go on about why the sky is blue or something. Maybe I am just feeling a little misunderstood. I shouldn't be complaining. It's not like I pay bills or anything. Oh well! I could've sworn SOMETHING was frustrating me. In the end, it is all just the sheer mass of people who I've tried to explain simple logic to, and have them ignore it so they could say I was stupid. People who can't even grasp a simple concept like spelling or sentence structure, calling me stupid. It's really almost maddening. ALMOST.

- Sunday, June 04, 2000

SpaceMarine. An endless clusterfuck of total human failure, and today's "Hang Up On Yourself" award winner. He spent his time on the Counter-Terrorist team in de_dust complaining about the teams being uneven. He didn't really care that his team was winning anyway due to the advantage that de_dust gives the CTs, he just wanted a chance to call everyone "assholes," while being able to be on the team that was beating them regardless of the uneven amount of people. I changed my name to "South Park Isn't Funny" in an obvious troll that of course got people fuming mad because they can't deal with their emotions. Especially SpaceMarine. He was now on the jihad. I told him specifically that if he was going to cry, he should go home to his mommy, which properly fueled his ignorant rage. He kept pointing out how I "suk" because I had a score of something like 15 kills, twenty-four deaths. Which, for a ping of 400, is actually exceptionally good. I pointed out how he didn't learn math properly, and he got confused naturally. He tried to again repeat claiming what my score was while ignoring the ping (his ping was about 90 or something, and he had about 30/17). So I slammed my gun up his ass a couple times and blew his brains out through his mouth. He kept whining. Eventually the game itself fixed the CT's team being uneven by placing me on the CT team. Now, he suddenly switched teams to terrorists, again unevening the teams, just because I was on his team. A hypocrite who can't understand math, now. The map changed to cs_747, he whined some more about how I sucked while succeeding in completely ignoring logic and reasoning. It ended when I killed him about two rounds into the map, and he left immediately. He couldn't understand math, he couldn't understand sentence structure, and he had control of a fast internet connection that his mommy bought for him. The answer is for him to take matters into his own hands. SpaceMarine, it's up to you:

- Saturday, June 03, 2000 - later

http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/Forum29/HTML/000071.html Ha ha.

- Saturday, June 03, 2000

http://sinfest.net/ After reading this site, I had to listen to Punky Brüster's "Wallet Chain" four times in a row to get the taste out of my mouth (one of the characters even sports a wallet chain). The only thing missing is Korn/Limp Bizkit/South Park references. But there are screamingly hilarious pot references, so it must be cool! We purchased the new Iron Maiden album, by the way. Oh yeah, another thing, our computer seriously fucked up and died screaming to high hell. Actually, I just had to reinstall Windows (it's probably because of that damn Daikatana demo). And now I have to reinstall every program. I'm still confused by the occasional error message that says some file is missing or corrupt, and Run32.dll is fucking up again, which is what started the problem. As long as the 200 MB archive of AIM logs doesn't get deleted, or the other 700+ megs of other personal shit we have stays around forever and ever or until we can transfer it to multiple other sources in its entirity, then that's OKAY. It's not great, but we'll live.

- Thursday, June 01, 2000

A topic that I've been fighting about for a long time now: trendy fucking pussies. Saturating culture, refusing to recognize anything that is not trendy. As you probably wouldn't know, the moniker comes from an Anal Cunt song ("You're a Trendy Fucking Pussy"), and while the song itself features nothing but the typical AC-ish screaming and noise for 30 seconds, the situation is real. The trend is something I found myself on one side of. It's something that really practically does not exist. Cyberstalking, netstalking. What is it? You'd probably get many explainations from people who believe that it's not only real, but it's happened to them, and probably only one or two of them would be true examples, which would make it so rare that it really shouldn't be called "netstalking," but just "stalking," which has become trendy enough these days to catagorize as a violent crime, when really the violent part is the VIOLENCE which is even more rare. However, I should leave the facts to someone else, which are laid out in an article my sister sent me today (thanks). http://www.zdnet.com/intweek/stories/columns/0,4164,2577187,00.html Read it, eat it, breathe it. Someone, last year, actually said I was stalking them over the internet (I believe they originally referred to it as "net.stalking" adding the dot there to make it "net-centric" and therefore a bunch of trendy bullshit). They obviously believed it in, but only as a device to get people against me and on their side, and they never really pressed charges or presented a shred of proof to anyone (this person was the type who could get a lot of horny internet losers on her side very quickly--especially other trendy people). This person was the living personification of trendy. She was listening to swing music a year ago, for God's sake. And she loves tori amos. That's end-all proof right there. I never threatened her life, moved to live closer to her, or did anything to personally affect her actual life. Sure, afterwards I spread rumors and made up stuff about her (such as her exploding due to massive food intake, or catching fire due to high AIDS content in her blood, or some such), but none of them were serious, and in the end they would only make me look worse in the eyes of her friends (which I didn't give a fucking shit about whatsoever). And now that this article exists (I've already saved it to my hard drive), I can breathe the air of vindication, and start my long trek to IM every one of my old friends who have since believed that I am an evil net-stalker, ruining the lives of innocent young school girls ALL OVER THE PLANET, and tell them to their face with absolute proof that they are nothing but a bunch of TRENDY FUCKING PUSSIES. If that article wasn't enough, there's this reader comment here: http://www.zdnet.com/tlkbck/comment/321/0,7091,90188-453375,00.html "The only reason this relatively rare sort of crime (cyberstalking) has gotten this much press and its numbers have been so inflated is that it sounds great coming off a soap box or from behind a news desk. It also has the benefit of a trendy-sounding name [my emphasis -Jhoh] that's easily confused with cyberpredation, an altogether nastier subject." EHHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEH. It sums up the beast, really. Just another trendy fuck who WILL NOT do or say anything if it isn't trendy enough for them. FUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING TREND MONGERS. Trendy motherfuckers, go choke on your Korn and Limp Bizkit and Smash Mouth and tori amos and Barenaked Ladies. AND DON'T FORGET TO DIE SCREAMING. ^_^ That also goes for bands that make live albums that feature crappy orchestras playing badly in order to appeal to the crowd of people who think that anything with a bunch of violins screeching repetative power-notes at the same time is beautiful art and makes them cultured. So that's my piece on how trendy people suck, and are everywhere. Unfortunately, soon (VERY soon maybe) it will actually become trendy to accuse everything of being trendy (trendy people are already using that as their defense--you calling them trendy is trendy, or whatever YOU like is trendy, when it really isn't, they just need an excuse to fall back on and they don't think long or hard enough about the subject to forumlate anything that stands up to reasoning and logic). And then, at that time, once again, the fucking sheep fuckbrains will once again lower the standards for th English language and thought, and people with actual thoughts and points will no longer be able to get them across because of the Americans who have watered down all thought with their inane bullshit and lack of reasoning and intelligence.